Actually despite the title of this post, it's not that bad of a morning. I spent the entire day at the barn yesterday and it was great. The sun was actually shining and it lifted my spirits some. I was feeling a little lazy when I got there and just hung out watching a lesson going on and talking to the barn owner and another boarder. My roomie showed up for a few minutes, she was working but had managed to sneak away to the barn to visit for half an hour. After she left I decided it was time to get my butt in gear and I went and got Aragon out and groomed him up. As I was brushing him I noticed a little more muscle on his light frame and his butt was a little more defined. I tacked him up and he stood still as a statue even when the mare he was crosstied to was in full blown heat and had her ass presssed up against her stall. Women, always making the first move hehehe.
So I decided to forego any lunging or ring work and lead him over to the picnic table and hopped on. I want him to get used to just getting on and going without it being a big deals since my hopes is to have him be my trail horse for the summer. He pranced some and half passed down the entire driveway. He had a minor melt down not wanting to go any further. It's really quite comical. He backs up and thinks that he can get away with it. HE will eventually get tired of backing and not getting his way and then decided that it's best to go where I think we should go. You can't get into a fight with him or that will just add fuel to the argument, you have to be careful with stallions when it comes to arguments and being a little pushy, they can take that as a challenge and will never let go of it. After our little Michael Jackson moon walking session it was pretty much smooth sailing. I let him trot right out. After 8 years on the track he relaxes more when he is moving and able to kinds get his brain in gear. I compromised with him, he could trot as long as it was straight and he didn't lean on my inside leg. He decided that this was a good deal and away we went. Aragon is really amazing on the trail. Nothing fazes him. I took him further than we had gone before, about 7 miles. We rode on dirt roads and even busy paved roads. There were kids and dogs, and flags attached to mail boxes and swollen running streams everywhere. He walked along like a pro. we worked a lot on cantering straight and relaxing, he did the best he has done so far. Half way through the ride we were both relaxed and I was holding the reins on the buckle just feeling the swing of his belly.
When we got back to the barn he was sufficiently tired but still had a sparke in his eye. I gave him a good curry taking more winter hair off and a handful of treats. I just love this horse. Even though he is a nut job of a TB stallion, he can be so good and is just sometimes misunderstood.
I stayed at the abrn a little longer and then went home to clean the apartment. I had been really good all day and not talked or texted Greg. He really needs to contact me if he wants to communicate. When my roomie came home we ate a delicious meal of mac n cheese (the dinner of single gals world wide) and then on a whim decided to go to the barn and ride our ponies around the indoor bareback, Possum hadn't been worked that day so I thought it would be a good idea. It was just about dark when we got there and the horses were sedttling in for the night after already eating their dinner hay. Possum was great. I swear he is better bareback than with a sadddle. I wish I got some on video. We jumped some small lines and even did a series of three bounces. Then I put on diagonal up to 3'6". Possum flew over it easily and I actually did a really good job. My legs were strong and tight and held me in my two point over the jump while I practiced an automatic release. It was amazing just flying together with nothing between us. I'm a complete sap, I know. After about half an hour we put their blankies back on and turned them back out. My legs were sore and tires, meaning that I had worked them well and correctly.
SO It's Monday and I still havn't heards from Greg, but that's OK. I can do this. I have summer and shows and friends to look forward to and many horse adventures I'm sure of. The weather is supposed to be shitty for the next few days so it looks like minimal riding for me and sit-ups and running instead of riding for me. I'm bound and determined to shed some of this weight I have accumulated since my accident.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Saturday, April 4, 2009
It's me again!
Just checking in again. Had a really hard time guy wise today. But before I get to the shitty stuff, I need to let you know that I spent the entire day at the barn. It was a crazy busy time in the indoor, but regardless I was able to ride Possum, and then went down the road and even braved a trail through the woods, It was raining when I was riding outside, but it basically fit my mood for the day. My advice to anyone riding trails in Maine is to WAIT!! The woods are flooded and the ice is giving way to mud and flowing rivers which equals horses that fall down. I'm just really glad that Possum is such a good trail guy and we braved through it. It was so bad at times that I grabbed the back of the saddle and gave him his head in case he went down and I didn't want to catch him in the mouth. Not going to try that again for a few weeks. had a godo time visiting with all my barn friends but my mood was dismal to say the least.
Yet again, I look like the needy lack of self esteem girl and texted Greg a few times last night with no response. Really I could just kick myself in the face sometimes. I did however enjoy the Vagina Monologues last night. So today started out a nervous wreck. I again had that ball of anxiety in my stomach. I couldn't resist and texted Greg asking if he would still tell me if he was fucking around with anyone, he texted back "Yup". I then gathered some of "G's" clothes that he had left at my apartment and on my way to get my car fixed I dropped them in his mailbox and texted him letting him know that it was there since it was raining and they would get all wet. He acted all sweet and great. He asked about the dogs and I gave a one word "Fine". I asked if he heard about all the rumors in town going on about me and he said no so I filled him in. He acted all nicey nice and said that I deserve better than that. I wanted to puke but instead said that talking to him was too hard and I had to go. He said bye and that he was sorry, again my fingers started itching and I asked if he was still seeing that girl, he said back simply "yes". SO that was the real start to my bad mood. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, I really don't know what I wanted to do.
So when I went to get my car fixed my dad knew something was up and I filled him in leaving out the gruesome details. He was actually really supportive and great about it. When I told him how I was treating Greg and that fact that we basically don't talk now he said that yes I can be pushy and bossy sometimes, especially when I'm going through a hard time, and that maybe I should apologize to him. I thought about this and decided to taxt him and let him know that I;m really messed up right now and confused and just plain weird. Greg actually texted me back and was decent. He said that we really shouldn't be physical now; that I need to get me head straight. All things which are true, but it sucks to hear it from him. He said that things will get better. Damnit!!! I don't want him to be my therapist, I want him to be a good friend and want him to want me. He also said that he's not mad at me, just reserved. What the hell does that mean??? He also informed me after I asked him that he went to see a band last night with some friends. And ofcourse my over analytical brain automatically thinks of girls. So that's the only type of contact that we have had all day. After I got home from the barn, my roomie and I went to the movies. After the movies we had a great talk about guys in general and how we seem to be going down the same paths. She is also in a similiar situation. We made a pact to cool it with the boys. If their interested, they need to come to us. We're just too damn nice. They have our numbers, they know us, so they can make a move. In the meantime we are going to focus on our riding and our own lives. We are going to be each others support. If we feel like texting the guy or calling we have to run it by the other first. I swear this time I want to stay strong.
But as I write this I can't help but open my phone wondering if it accidently shut off and I missed a call or text from Greg. I know I know pathetic! I am seriously wrecked after my relationshop with "G". I have come to the conclusion that he was not my BF, he was more like my child. And that need to nurture, protect and help has carried over into my non-relationship with Greg which can be seen as needy and annoying not to mention needy. SO I wa sjust having a hard time today and decided to get these thoughts and things out of my head and into this great form of therapy that I have created. I slept like crap last night ofcourse thinking a million miles an hour and am hoping that writing this and the glass of wine I had will calm my racing thoughts.
Again, thanks all for the great comments, I always look forward to reading them and for your input. I'm really trying, but sometimes it's so damn hard. Is there anyone out there that will put up with all my crap and still love me for who I am? Hopefully.
My plan for tomorrow is to again hang at the barn. It is my safe oasis away from civilization and there is always enough activity to calm my swimming thoughts. Have a great and safe evening everyone, going to feed my nicotine habit and hitting the hay. My dogs will keep me company and warm, and did I mention that when I wake up in the morning I am swisted into a pretzel while they are all spread out and comfortable. If only other dogs had it so good........
Yet again, I look like the needy lack of self esteem girl and texted Greg a few times last night with no response. Really I could just kick myself in the face sometimes. I did however enjoy the Vagina Monologues last night. So today started out a nervous wreck. I again had that ball of anxiety in my stomach. I couldn't resist and texted Greg asking if he would still tell me if he was fucking around with anyone, he texted back "Yup". I then gathered some of "G's" clothes that he had left at my apartment and on my way to get my car fixed I dropped them in his mailbox and texted him letting him know that it was there since it was raining and they would get all wet. He acted all sweet and great. He asked about the dogs and I gave a one word "Fine". I asked if he heard about all the rumors in town going on about me and he said no so I filled him in. He acted all nicey nice and said that I deserve better than that. I wanted to puke but instead said that talking to him was too hard and I had to go. He said bye and that he was sorry, again my fingers started itching and I asked if he was still seeing that girl, he said back simply "yes". SO that was the real start to my bad mood. I wanted to cry, I wanted to scream, I really don't know what I wanted to do.
So when I went to get my car fixed my dad knew something was up and I filled him in leaving out the gruesome details. He was actually really supportive and great about it. When I told him how I was treating Greg and that fact that we basically don't talk now he said that yes I can be pushy and bossy sometimes, especially when I'm going through a hard time, and that maybe I should apologize to him. I thought about this and decided to taxt him and let him know that I;m really messed up right now and confused and just plain weird. Greg actually texted me back and was decent. He said that we really shouldn't be physical now; that I need to get me head straight. All things which are true, but it sucks to hear it from him. He said that things will get better. Damnit!!! I don't want him to be my therapist, I want him to be a good friend and want him to want me. He also said that he's not mad at me, just reserved. What the hell does that mean??? He also informed me after I asked him that he went to see a band last night with some friends. And ofcourse my over analytical brain automatically thinks of girls. So that's the only type of contact that we have had all day. After I got home from the barn, my roomie and I went to the movies. After the movies we had a great talk about guys in general and how we seem to be going down the same paths. She is also in a similiar situation. We made a pact to cool it with the boys. If their interested, they need to come to us. We're just too damn nice. They have our numbers, they know us, so they can make a move. In the meantime we are going to focus on our riding and our own lives. We are going to be each others support. If we feel like texting the guy or calling we have to run it by the other first. I swear this time I want to stay strong.
But as I write this I can't help but open my phone wondering if it accidently shut off and I missed a call or text from Greg. I know I know pathetic! I am seriously wrecked after my relationshop with "G". I have come to the conclusion that he was not my BF, he was more like my child. And that need to nurture, protect and help has carried over into my non-relationship with Greg which can be seen as needy and annoying not to mention needy. SO I wa sjust having a hard time today and decided to get these thoughts and things out of my head and into this great form of therapy that I have created. I slept like crap last night ofcourse thinking a million miles an hour and am hoping that writing this and the glass of wine I had will calm my racing thoughts.
Again, thanks all for the great comments, I always look forward to reading them and for your input. I'm really trying, but sometimes it's so damn hard. Is there anyone out there that will put up with all my crap and still love me for who I am? Hopefully.
My plan for tomorrow is to again hang at the barn. It is my safe oasis away from civilization and there is always enough activity to calm my swimming thoughts. Have a great and safe evening everyone, going to feed my nicotine habit and hitting the hay. My dogs will keep me company and warm, and did I mention that when I wake up in the morning I am swisted into a pretzel while they are all spread out and comfortable. If only other dogs had it so good........
Friday, April 3, 2009
Happy Friday
Hello again everyone. It's Friday and that means it's the end of the work week and the start of a fun horse filled weekend. I had a great day yesterday. I had a shortened work day and was at the barn with my roomie by 1P. Because I'm getting back into exercising and burning calories as much as I can I had decided to ride both Possum and Aragon. Due to the many horses in the ring and the lesson that was going on, I decided to ride Possum first. The ring was being dragged so there was only 1 jump set up, which was fine. It gave me a chance to work a lot on our flat work and my equitation. Everyone kept making fun of me because I had a permanent smile plastered on my face. Just to get them going even more I took the reins on one hand and did my best Miss America wave around the arena with a huge smile across my face. I think I've been watching the show Little Miss Perfect on TV too much.
Possum did really well, especially since I decided to ride in the Pelham instead of the elevator. let me tell you why I have these bits. Usually I like to ride Possum in a happy mouth three ring elevator with it on the second ring. Due to the nerve damage in his mouth he works best off of poll pressure. The elevator gives me the leverage I need and to also pick him up off his face, as he tends to do being built slightly down-hill. Possum is very comfortable in the elevator and my arms don't have to work as hard. Unfortunately, elevator bits are not allowed in hunters or equitation, although they can be used in jumpers. I can understand why they are not allowed, because if left in uneducated hands they could do some damage, or anyone that rides and uses the horses mouth for balance is going to royally piss off a normal horse. So for shows I ride in a happy mouth pelham. I like the pelham, he rounds nicely to it, although when he gets lazy or stubborn he can lean heavily against it. If it's one thing I can't stand, it's a horse who leans on your hands and basically wants you to carry them around. Believe it or not, Possum goes beautifully in a hackamore, just a simple hack, no gimmicks, but that too is not allowed in hunters or eq. However, the barn owner just bouth a new Myler pelham and I'm tempted to try that as it conforms more to the horses mouth and Possum has ridden in a Dee ring Myler before to some success. SO there is your education on Possum's different bits hahaha.
So Possum did really well with only minimal leaning on my hands. SO I untacked him and let him loose to eat hay by the barn. Next it was Aragon. He was a filthy mess and it took me over half an hour to clean him up to look half way presentable. If you've never been to Maine during mud season, consider yourself lucky. This is the time of year that the horsese are perpetually dirty and caked with mud! We went in the ring and unfortunately two mares were lunging and another mare working on the outside rail. 2 of the mares were in heat which was just wonderful. Aragon was OK, but once one of the mares got a little too close behind him and he reared and spun and had a brain melt down. I yelled at him and slapped his neck with my hand and I think he knew I meant business and calmed down after that. There is no need for a hrose to act up, especially a stallion. Respect is a must on the ground and under saddle at all times. AFter riding in the arena I took him down the trail and I felt his whole body relax. We did some trotting and cantering and he was great, I told him that he redeemed himself. After getting back to the barn my back was dying. I put Aragon away and just hung out with the barn crew. We watched the barn owner work with a QH stallion that just came in for training. I have never seen a stallion with so little manners or respect for a person. He was running into her, never made eye contact and was just a complete brute. He is 4ys old, has already bred mares and has zero training. This was his first time off his property. Let's just say that he was in for a rude awakening. Stallion bootcamp is what I told the owner who came to watch the training session. This stud is also not some small guy, he's 16.2H and brimming with testosterone. I told the owner to remember what she saw and then check in on his progress in a month. He is in for basic training and saddle training.
So while I was at the barn and on the ride home I was in a great mood. We had the radio cranked and just chillin out. It wasn't until I talked to Greg that it started to go down. He ofcourse was in a bad mood again. I was trying to cheer him up and get him talking, all to no avail. I asked if he wanted to watch a movie and he said no, again. I'm trying so hard to be happy in my life and look at things positively. I had a great day at the barn, I was laughing so hard my stomach hurt and everything was great. I hate the fact that he can bring me down so hard. So I texted him last night and this is what it said:
"I hate the fact that you are so down and depresed all the time. I have tried to cheer you up, but it just ends up bringing me down. I try and get you to do things with me and nothing. Call me when your happy and feeling better. I won't be upset if it's not for a while. I just want to be happy. I hope you can understand that"
Ofcourse I havn't heard back from him, and I suspect that I may not for quite a while. But that's OK. I need to do my own thing. I really can be happy and have a good time if I don't have all this stress going on, and right now Greg stresses me out. So I'm being a big girl and basically putting the ball in his court. I'm done pursuing or trying to make him feel better, because all it does is bring me down.
Well today is a very busy day. I'm at the HS now, then the MS, then the elem school and another HS. Then back to the office to get ready because I'm running a booth at the Vagina Monologues tonight until 9P so it's a crazy day. No riding for me today, but it's kinda rainy out and I'm sure the ponies will be happy for a day off.. Have a great Friday everyone, and as always comments are always welcomed.
Possum did really well, especially since I decided to ride in the Pelham instead of the elevator. let me tell you why I have these bits. Usually I like to ride Possum in a happy mouth three ring elevator with it on the second ring. Due to the nerve damage in his mouth he works best off of poll pressure. The elevator gives me the leverage I need and to also pick him up off his face, as he tends to do being built slightly down-hill. Possum is very comfortable in the elevator and my arms don't have to work as hard. Unfortunately, elevator bits are not allowed in hunters or equitation, although they can be used in jumpers. I can understand why they are not allowed, because if left in uneducated hands they could do some damage, or anyone that rides and uses the horses mouth for balance is going to royally piss off a normal horse. So for shows I ride in a happy mouth pelham. I like the pelham, he rounds nicely to it, although when he gets lazy or stubborn he can lean heavily against it. If it's one thing I can't stand, it's a horse who leans on your hands and basically wants you to carry them around. Believe it or not, Possum goes beautifully in a hackamore, just a simple hack, no gimmicks, but that too is not allowed in hunters or eq. However, the barn owner just bouth a new Myler pelham and I'm tempted to try that as it conforms more to the horses mouth and Possum has ridden in a Dee ring Myler before to some success. SO there is your education on Possum's different bits hahaha.
So Possum did really well with only minimal leaning on my hands. SO I untacked him and let him loose to eat hay by the barn. Next it was Aragon. He was a filthy mess and it took me over half an hour to clean him up to look half way presentable. If you've never been to Maine during mud season, consider yourself lucky. This is the time of year that the horsese are perpetually dirty and caked with mud! We went in the ring and unfortunately two mares were lunging and another mare working on the outside rail. 2 of the mares were in heat which was just wonderful. Aragon was OK, but once one of the mares got a little too close behind him and he reared and spun and had a brain melt down. I yelled at him and slapped his neck with my hand and I think he knew I meant business and calmed down after that. There is no need for a hrose to act up, especially a stallion. Respect is a must on the ground and under saddle at all times. AFter riding in the arena I took him down the trail and I felt his whole body relax. We did some trotting and cantering and he was great, I told him that he redeemed himself. After getting back to the barn my back was dying. I put Aragon away and just hung out with the barn crew. We watched the barn owner work with a QH stallion that just came in for training. I have never seen a stallion with so little manners or respect for a person. He was running into her, never made eye contact and was just a complete brute. He is 4ys old, has already bred mares and has zero training. This was his first time off his property. Let's just say that he was in for a rude awakening. Stallion bootcamp is what I told the owner who came to watch the training session. This stud is also not some small guy, he's 16.2H and brimming with testosterone. I told the owner to remember what she saw and then check in on his progress in a month. He is in for basic training and saddle training.
So while I was at the barn and on the ride home I was in a great mood. We had the radio cranked and just chillin out. It wasn't until I talked to Greg that it started to go down. He ofcourse was in a bad mood again. I was trying to cheer him up and get him talking, all to no avail. I asked if he wanted to watch a movie and he said no, again. I'm trying so hard to be happy in my life and look at things positively. I had a great day at the barn, I was laughing so hard my stomach hurt and everything was great. I hate the fact that he can bring me down so hard. So I texted him last night and this is what it said:
"I hate the fact that you are so down and depresed all the time. I have tried to cheer you up, but it just ends up bringing me down. I try and get you to do things with me and nothing. Call me when your happy and feeling better. I won't be upset if it's not for a while. I just want to be happy. I hope you can understand that"
Ofcourse I havn't heard back from him, and I suspect that I may not for quite a while. But that's OK. I need to do my own thing. I really can be happy and have a good time if I don't have all this stress going on, and right now Greg stresses me out. So I'm being a big girl and basically putting the ball in his court. I'm done pursuing or trying to make him feel better, because all it does is bring me down.
Well today is a very busy day. I'm at the HS now, then the MS, then the elem school and another HS. Then back to the office to get ready because I'm running a booth at the Vagina Monologues tonight until 9P so it's a crazy day. No riding for me today, but it's kinda rainy out and I'm sure the ponies will be happy for a day off.. Have a great Friday everyone, and as always comments are always welcomed.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
what makes me me??
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. Thinking about my life and why the hell I am in such a rush to go basically nowhere. I want someone so bad in my life that I am basically arm wrestling the cosmos and trying to pull someone down for me. This is not the right way to find a guy. I have far more work to do in my life to feel confortable in myself before I really jump into something with a guy. Sure I have feelings for guys, specifically Greg. But unfortunately, or as I'm choosing to look at it now; fortunately we are in similiar boats. I was cruising friends blogs this morning and my good friend over at wonderful world of weiners had a great post on how much she loves and adores her husband. I just think that is so great and I really long for that feeling in my life. I just need to be OK with the fact that this is not the right time for that. All things come to those who are patient and deserving. Being pushy, annoying and down right bitchy because I don't get my way is going to only spell disaster in the end.
Last night I was thinking of all the things I do have in my life. I have three great and loving dogs that just adore me. I have a wonderful horse whom I can do basically anything with. I have a great place to live that I like very much. I have a good job that is fulfilling and is a service to the local community. I have my roomate as a good friend and support for me. She always lends an ear when I need it. I have all my great horse friends who really look up to me and my knowledge of horses. There is nothing like good friends at a barn to make someone feel good. I am financially stable. I'm definately not wealthy or even comfortable, but I make things do month to month. I have a lot going on in my life which are all positives.
I called Greg last night (again) and he was kinda distant and not talkative at all. I knew it had to do with how I have been acting lately. I've been pushy and annoying and over analyzing things to death in terms of our non-relationship. This in turn puts added pressure on him which he does not need in his life right now and annoys him and makes him want to withdraw from me. I felt terrible, like I have been pushing my friend away because he doesn't want to deal with my drama. Since when did I become such a drama queen? I need to believe in the confidence that is in myself and go about my life. I think I'm so used to molding my life around someone else that I don't know what to do on my own. Again, that need to nurture and take care of someone has morphed into a suffocating bitchy monster. I know what I need to do but I hate it. I need to give Greg his space. If things are meant to happen it will no matter how many or few texts or phone calls I throw at him. I care for him very much and see a lot of great qualities in him that is very hard to not be attracted to. But the last thing he needs is some clingy girl putting added stress on him. And to be honest I need to stop stressing myself out with thinking of him so much. I DON'T NEED A GUY RIGHT NOW!!! I think I need to make up stickers and stick them all over the place where I will see them on a regular basis. I need to be happy with myself. Summer is coming, and I'm losing weight and working out. I want to focus on having fun and not dissecting it until it becomes a job. I have horse shows to look forward to and long trail rides and swimming with my horse at the beach. These are all things that I enjoy and like doing. Stick to what you know Molly, let go of all the crap your holding onto and start living your life. It's a beautiful day, I got plenty of sleep last night and I'm going riding after work tonight. What else is better in life than that?
Last night I was thinking of all the things I do have in my life. I have three great and loving dogs that just adore me. I have a wonderful horse whom I can do basically anything with. I have a great place to live that I like very much. I have a good job that is fulfilling and is a service to the local community. I have my roomate as a good friend and support for me. She always lends an ear when I need it. I have all my great horse friends who really look up to me and my knowledge of horses. There is nothing like good friends at a barn to make someone feel good. I am financially stable. I'm definately not wealthy or even comfortable, but I make things do month to month. I have a lot going on in my life which are all positives.
I called Greg last night (again) and he was kinda distant and not talkative at all. I knew it had to do with how I have been acting lately. I've been pushy and annoying and over analyzing things to death in terms of our non-relationship. This in turn puts added pressure on him which he does not need in his life right now and annoys him and makes him want to withdraw from me. I felt terrible, like I have been pushing my friend away because he doesn't want to deal with my drama. Since when did I become such a drama queen? I need to believe in the confidence that is in myself and go about my life. I think I'm so used to molding my life around someone else that I don't know what to do on my own. Again, that need to nurture and take care of someone has morphed into a suffocating bitchy monster. I know what I need to do but I hate it. I need to give Greg his space. If things are meant to happen it will no matter how many or few texts or phone calls I throw at him. I care for him very much and see a lot of great qualities in him that is very hard to not be attracted to. But the last thing he needs is some clingy girl putting added stress on him. And to be honest I need to stop stressing myself out with thinking of him so much. I DON'T NEED A GUY RIGHT NOW!!! I think I need to make up stickers and stick them all over the place where I will see them on a regular basis. I need to be happy with myself. Summer is coming, and I'm losing weight and working out. I want to focus on having fun and not dissecting it until it becomes a job. I have horse shows to look forward to and long trail rides and swimming with my horse at the beach. These are all things that I enjoy and like doing. Stick to what you know Molly, let go of all the crap your holding onto and start living your life. It's a beautiful day, I got plenty of sleep last night and I'm going riding after work tonight. What else is better in life than that?
Monday, March 30, 2009
A dreary Monday after a horse weekend
Aragon during his grooming session. His eyes are just dreamy!Again, I've been a little lax in my posts lately. But it was a nice horsey weekend for me and I got a lot of riding in. On Friday I got out of work early due to teacher conferences at my last school, so that was a nice suprise. I picked my roomate up and the dogs and we headed to the barn. I got Possum out and it was a gorgeous day. The temps were in the 50's and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. I rode Possum for a little bit in the arena but it was so dusty and needing a watering really bad that my roomie and I decided to hit the trails. Possum was perfectly behaved and relaxed, while my roomate's horse was being a little bitch and getting all hyper and not listening at all. Possum and I galloped out a couple of times, the dirt road had just been grated and it was damp so it made for nice soft ground for galloping. Then we worked on collected canter with flying changes every 7 strides, that went really well. When we got back to the barn I untacked him and gave him a quick brushing and let him loose to eat scraps of hay around the farm. The snow is slowly giving way to bare ground and I can actually see muddy dirt in the outdoor. My guess is that in 3 weeks it'll be rideable, I can't wait to jump and ride in a bigger space other than the indoor.
Earlier that Friday I made plans with a guy friend of mine who is interested in me, but I'm not really into him, to go out Sunday afternoon and just hang out and get to know each other better. I told Greg about this since we tell each other everything. He was kinda short with me on the phone and I just let it go. Half an hour later I get a text from him saying, and I quote "I can't say that I'm not a little jealous." WTF!!!! He knows I'm totally into him, that he's a great and awesome guy and I could only be lucky to be with him, but he gives me the shaft all the time, saying that I'm too emotionally invested blah blah blah. And now he writes me this....this is what's confusing to me. So I try and talk to him about it later and he says that obviously he has feelings for me. Ummm, well not that obvious to me. But that he just doesn't need a relationship right now, he is still healing from his marriage. I hear that totally, but let me know how you feel. Because I basically give up the hope that someday we'll hook up. I'm trying to force myself to move on because I don't think he likes me at all and now he pulls this crap. Even when I'm mad or upset with him, it doesn't last because he is such a good guy. I am seriously messed in the head, or maybe in the heart, who knows?! So it was kind of a tense weekend for Greg and I.
But back to the horses, the things that really matter hehehe. Saturday I got up early and my roomie and I went to breakfast with Greg and then headed to the barn with all the dogs in tow. The forecast called for bright skies and temps in the 50's again. What actually happened was that it was thick with clouds all day and it was about 35 degrees. Despite the cooler temps I got Aragon out and cleaned him all up because a woman was coming to look at him to potentially breed her TB mare to him. Aragon is just such a sweetie despite his horomone levels. I spent over half an hour scrubbing him clean and show sheening his body and polishing him up. I tacked him up and since there were a bunch of other horses in the arena and I didn't want to get him too sweaty by longing so,I just got right on. He was great and away we trotted. We even did some little jumps of about 2'3" and I just love his jump. He is sooo smooth but really rounds his back and due to his uphill build he lands and is right away there to do whatever you want, unlike Possum who likes to land on his face a lot and you have to sometimes wrestle him to sit back on his haunches. After the ride in the arena and showing him to the woman, I decided to hit the trails with him. He was great. We walked and trotted and cantered really working on keeping him straight since he just loves to canter completely sideways down the trail. Something that I'm sure he picked up on at the track. He was such a gentleman and so fun to ride. He didn't jig at all on the trail ride and I was able to ride him at a walk on the way home on a long rein with my hands on the buckle. He was snorting and relaxing and just enjoying life.
Yesterday, Sunday was a horrible day weather wise. It was pouring rain and the temp was raw and cold. Despite the weather my roomie and I were dedicated to ride our ponies in the arena. We set up a course of about 2'9" and did out warm-ups and then trotted the courses first. Our focus for the way was straightness and striding. I knew as soon as I got on Possum that he was a little frisky and even did little crow hops the first few canters. We had some struggles and words, but I have to say that at the end of the ride he was doing much better. When he is strong and heavy like that it is hard to work on my equitation, therefore my back was killing me after the ride. He was sweaty and gross and I was sweaty and gross and walking like a 90 year old woman! My dogs were also absolutely disgusting soaked from head to toe with mud and manure thrown in the mix. I put a new heavy blanket on Possum with a hood to keep him warm and dry and threw him back out after giving him some new treats that I recently bought at Tractor Supply open house localy. I then gave Aragon a whole handful of treats which he gobbled up. Tonight I work till 6P so I will not be going to the barn, but tomorrow I hope to. It's still rainy and drizzly today so it kinda makes my mood the same.
The "date" last night was not fun at all. I found him annoying at times, he is not an animal person and there were awkward silences. I tried very hard to be neutral and get to know him, but all I could think about was comparing him to Greg, I swear I'm crazy as a loon. I found myself just wanting it to be over to be alone. Imagine, me, wanting to be alone, that's when you know it wasn't going well. I was just in a funky mood and not really into entertaining. I was sarcastic and short and found myself being a little bitchy. Later that night I called Greg to check in and because I usually enjoy talking to him. He was very short with me and I kept asking him what was wrong and he kept saying nothing but that me asking him was annoying him. I don;t know, I feel a divide coming between us communication wise. I also havn't heard from him yet today and I'm going to stick to my guns and not call or text him. He needs to come to me for once. Well that's about all. More stress with guys that horses try and cure haha. I think I might go home for lunch since I have leftovers from dinner last night and then go to the college for the rest of the afternoon.
Earlier that Friday I made plans with a guy friend of mine who is interested in me, but I'm not really into him, to go out Sunday afternoon and just hang out and get to know each other better. I told Greg about this since we tell each other everything. He was kinda short with me on the phone and I just let it go. Half an hour later I get a text from him saying, and I quote "I can't say that I'm not a little jealous." WTF!!!! He knows I'm totally into him, that he's a great and awesome guy and I could only be lucky to be with him, but he gives me the shaft all the time, saying that I'm too emotionally invested blah blah blah. And now he writes me this....this is what's confusing to me. So I try and talk to him about it later and he says that obviously he has feelings for me. Ummm, well not that obvious to me. But that he just doesn't need a relationship right now, he is still healing from his marriage. I hear that totally, but let me know how you feel. Because I basically give up the hope that someday we'll hook up. I'm trying to force myself to move on because I don't think he likes me at all and now he pulls this crap. Even when I'm mad or upset with him, it doesn't last because he is such a good guy. I am seriously messed in the head, or maybe in the heart, who knows?! So it was kind of a tense weekend for Greg and I.
But back to the horses, the things that really matter hehehe. Saturday I got up early and my roomie and I went to breakfast with Greg and then headed to the barn with all the dogs in tow. The forecast called for bright skies and temps in the 50's again. What actually happened was that it was thick with clouds all day and it was about 35 degrees. Despite the cooler temps I got Aragon out and cleaned him all up because a woman was coming to look at him to potentially breed her TB mare to him. Aragon is just such a sweetie despite his horomone levels. I spent over half an hour scrubbing him clean and show sheening his body and polishing him up. I tacked him up and since there were a bunch of other horses in the arena and I didn't want to get him too sweaty by longing so,I just got right on. He was great and away we trotted. We even did some little jumps of about 2'3" and I just love his jump. He is sooo smooth but really rounds his back and due to his uphill build he lands and is right away there to do whatever you want, unlike Possum who likes to land on his face a lot and you have to sometimes wrestle him to sit back on his haunches. After the ride in the arena and showing him to the woman, I decided to hit the trails with him. He was great. We walked and trotted and cantered really working on keeping him straight since he just loves to canter completely sideways down the trail. Something that I'm sure he picked up on at the track. He was such a gentleman and so fun to ride. He didn't jig at all on the trail ride and I was able to ride him at a walk on the way home on a long rein with my hands on the buckle. He was snorting and relaxing and just enjoying life.
Yesterday, Sunday was a horrible day weather wise. It was pouring rain and the temp was raw and cold. Despite the weather my roomie and I were dedicated to ride our ponies in the arena. We set up a course of about 2'9" and did out warm-ups and then trotted the courses first. Our focus for the way was straightness and striding. I knew as soon as I got on Possum that he was a little frisky and even did little crow hops the first few canters. We had some struggles and words, but I have to say that at the end of the ride he was doing much better. When he is strong and heavy like that it is hard to work on my equitation, therefore my back was killing me after the ride. He was sweaty and gross and I was sweaty and gross and walking like a 90 year old woman! My dogs were also absolutely disgusting soaked from head to toe with mud and manure thrown in the mix. I put a new heavy blanket on Possum with a hood to keep him warm and dry and threw him back out after giving him some new treats that I recently bought at Tractor Supply open house localy. I then gave Aragon a whole handful of treats which he gobbled up. Tonight I work till 6P so I will not be going to the barn, but tomorrow I hope to. It's still rainy and drizzly today so it kinda makes my mood the same.
The "date" last night was not fun at all. I found him annoying at times, he is not an animal person and there were awkward silences. I tried very hard to be neutral and get to know him, but all I could think about was comparing him to Greg, I swear I'm crazy as a loon. I found myself just wanting it to be over to be alone. Imagine, me, wanting to be alone, that's when you know it wasn't going well. I was just in a funky mood and not really into entertaining. I was sarcastic and short and found myself being a little bitchy. Later that night I called Greg to check in and because I usually enjoy talking to him. He was very short with me and I kept asking him what was wrong and he kept saying nothing but that me asking him was annoying him. I don;t know, I feel a divide coming between us communication wise. I also havn't heard from him yet today and I'm going to stick to my guns and not call or text him. He needs to come to me for once. Well that's about all. More stress with guys that horses try and cure haha. I think I might go home for lunch since I have leftovers from dinner last night and then go to the college for the rest of the afternoon.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Gotta Love TB Studs!
After work today I went to the barn and decided to take Aragon out since it was quiet in the arena. He was absolutely filthy so it took me over half an hour to curry and brush him. I SHow Sheened him and also brushed out his mane and tail. He was looking pretty handsome when I was done. We walked down to the arena and lunged him for about 15 minutes. He was great and pretty relaxed. I hopped on and away we went trotting around the arena. I especially got after him today with listening to leg aids. Being a typical OTTB he likes to lean in on the turns. I was really using a firm outside rein and inside leg. He started to get the idea without getting too pissy. He is just such a smooth and comfortable horse to ride. I really love him. His biggest problem area was picking up the correct leads on a 20m circle. Right before I would ask for the cangter he would through his shoulder into the circle. SO we kept at it and I made sure to give him lots of praise when he did it correctly. After working on the canter we moved on to trotting jumps. I also love his jump. For having very little training he really uses his back and has a great eye for spots and is extremely light on his feet. He was doing really so I was jumping small lines working in keeping him straight and relaxed. He did really well in this so we would trot in a line and canter the second one. I was so proud of him. Even though all of the jumps were cross rails he did excellent. I walked him out for a while on a long rein and then decided to see if he would walk down the road for a little trail ride.
The really great thing about Aragon is that he is not spooky at all! Even though he can be a little crazy TB stallion, he is brave and really does have a great mind. He walked down the road like a champ and we even had a lous dirt bike go past us and he didn't even blink. We did some trotting and cantering and then walked the rest of the way home. His canter really needs work on the trail as he likes to canter completely sideways, which I teke as a side effect of 8 years on the track. But he wasn't unreasonable and still kept his mind about him. It was just a great ride all in all. He was pretty tired when we got back to I stripped him down and gave him a good grooming, Next time I'll have to get some pics of him in riding gear, he really is such a handsome guy. My hopes this summer with him is to do small courses i nthe ring and do lots of trail riding. It's good for his brain and body to have a job, and I like to think that he kinda likes me too.
As for the guy thing, things are slowly marching on. Greg and I talk on a regular basis and he's having a hard time right now and it makes me feel good that I'm the first one he talkes to about stuff that's bothering him.
Not going to the barn tomorrow since I have to work late. I also rode Possum Tuesday and he was pretty good. We put all the jumps up to 2'9"-3' to mimic that at the show. Our spots were great and his rhythm was perfect but he wasn't quite picking his knees up enough and would just nick them. I don't know if he was having maybe an off day, especially since he was having trouble with his right flying change. I felt that he was putting the effort in and I just let it go.
The really great thing about Aragon is that he is not spooky at all! Even though he can be a little crazy TB stallion, he is brave and really does have a great mind. He walked down the road like a champ and we even had a lous dirt bike go past us and he didn't even blink. We did some trotting and cantering and then walked the rest of the way home. His canter really needs work on the trail as he likes to canter completely sideways, which I teke as a side effect of 8 years on the track. But he wasn't unreasonable and still kept his mind about him. It was just a great ride all in all. He was pretty tired when we got back to I stripped him down and gave him a good grooming, Next time I'll have to get some pics of him in riding gear, he really is such a handsome guy. My hopes this summer with him is to do small courses i nthe ring and do lots of trail riding. It's good for his brain and body to have a job, and I like to think that he kinda likes me too.
As for the guy thing, things are slowly marching on. Greg and I talk on a regular basis and he's having a hard time right now and it makes me feel good that I'm the first one he talkes to about stuff that's bothering him.
Not going to the barn tomorrow since I have to work late. I also rode Possum Tuesday and he was pretty good. We put all the jumps up to 2'9"-3' to mimic that at the show. Our spots were great and his rhythm was perfect but he wasn't quite picking his knees up enough and would just nick them. I don't know if he was having maybe an off day, especially since he was having trouble with his right flying change. I felt that he was putting the effort in and I just let it go.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Weekend Review
Been busy lately and just having some time to think to myself. As for the weekend on a horse perspective it went great! Friday I took off early from work because my car needed work so I swapped vehicles with my dad, rounded up the dogs and hit the barn. I rode Possum first and he did pretty well. He was a little hyper so that meant he was a little speedy in the lines, but nothing terrible. We putzed around and just enjoyed the nice day. We rode for a good hour. Then I hung out for a while at the barn, watching lessons and just chillin. I let Possum out loose to gorge himself on a round bale and bask in the sun. He is always thankful for his free time out and about at the farm. and he would never think of running away or not being caught because then he knows his free time wouldn't happen again.
Later that afternoon I rode one of the paint ponies to get ready for a show the barn was going to on Sunday. Her rider isn't very strong or assertive and this pony can be a hot ticket so it was time to play good cop and bad cop. We worked a lot on the flat with bending and listening to inside leg outside rein. She woould much rather go around turns like a dirt bike then a normal balanced pony. She was actually getting quite pissy at me, but was starting to improve. Then we worked on some jumping concentrating mostly on being straight through the lines and after, again not cutting those corners. This pony also loves to take BIG spot to jumps. Basically launching herself, she is not afraid of anything, but we worked on getting to the base of the jumps and having nice and relaxed strides. She actually did quite well, but by the end of the ride I was exhausted. This pony is the like the energizer bunny and it takes a lot to not only correct her but to keep her there. I hoped that when the girl had her lesson the next day before the show the pony would be so glad that it wouldn't be me riding her that she would be a little more attentive to the other riders aids and use some of the things we had worked on.
Saturday the barn was a zoo. The day before a show is always crazy. The indoor was packed tighter than a can of sardines. All of the crossties were full with people pulling manes, cleaning socks, shaving bodies and braiding manes and tails. Possum and I were barely able to even get around the ring, nevermind really having the chance to work on a lot. I decided to stick to cantering 20m circles and work on our canter-walks. Our downward transitions can always use some work. Then after riding I stuck him in a stall to munch some hay because we couldn't even make it out of the indoor because it was so full of horses. I love the hustle and bustle of a barn though. Everyone's excited and nervous and we chat and talk about what we all need to work on and just to ride our best courses and not worry about the placings. My roomie and I ended up staying there till after 6P and then went home and had dinner while the dogs passed out at our feet.
Sunday I actually got up early, took a quick shower and let the dogs out and gave them all kisses and headed to the show to watch and help out. It was a little depressing at first to not have Possum there, but the good shows are to come and we'll be at those ones. This is basically a fairly small schooling show but has the classes to qualify for the Medals at the end of the year. On my way to the show I was jamming out to Metallica and eating my breakfast sandwich and apparently had a heavy foot. I got pulled over by a sheriff going 66 in a 45. OOOps! He immediately wrote me a ticket for $215. I was so bummed and disappointed in myself. That was like a whole horse show and then some. I called my roomate and she said she would see if there was anything that she could do for me. I love having a police woman for a roomate heheh. I got to the show and took over duties of doing the girls hair and holding horses and adjusting saddles that had slipped back due to too much show sheen. I went over courses with the kids and watched their rides. For once it was actually relaxing to not have to worry about memorizing my courses, cleaning my boots constantly and waiting for my turn in the ring. It was nice to watch everyone do their best in the ring and I must say that no one disappointed. Everyone rode their best and had their game faces on, and the horses for the most part were on their game as well. The show ended early since we didn't have anyone in the upper divisions. Usually I am the last one showing and everyone has to wait around for me haha. I went home and cleaned my room and washed my bed and folded and put away all of my laundry. I then vacuumed my room and tidied up. I then took a 2 hr nap with the dogs while watching Star Wars.
As for the guy situation, or should I say lask of situation. I just don't know what to do, and I think that's my problem, there is nothing that I can do. I did talk to "G" on Sat night and I guess his great relationship with the other woman isn't panning out to be what he thought, hmmmm canI say "Told ya so!" Anyways, Greg has also been a little distant. He bought a girl flowers last week and I found out about it from someone else and asked him about it. It just made me feel basically like shit even though he got all mad at me ad said that their just friends and that she is going through a divorce too and her birthday was the next day. Whatever, I need to somehow reel my feelings in because they are obviously not being reciprocated. I swear I wish I could just get men out of my head, they seem to be the stem of all my stress. I just really miss having someone. I love being in a relationship and doing thing for someone and knowing that I always have someone to talk to and be close to physically, it really kinds sucks. Greg was also all pissy yesterday because girls were fighting over him. I told him they would be knocking down his door. He's a very good looking guy who is well established and funny as hell. For many girls, that's their ticket out of their own life and into his. Greg is very much attracted to the prissy girls with immaculate finger nails and gorgeous hair. Perfectly done make-up and clothes that always flatter and ones you find in Cosmo magazine. I'm just not that girl. I wear jeans for the most part. I like big comfy sweatshirts. I usually have dirt under my nails from the barn, I'm not afraid to get dirty. I wear minimal make-up and always leave my hair down and untamed. And I'm a little chunky now. I can't get down on myself though. I just have to believe that somewhere out there is a guy who will love me for who I am andwhat I love to do in my life. I;m just looking for some normalcy in my life. All I want is steady eddie and normal, is that so much to ask? So ofcourse it's 10:20am and Greg still hasn't texted or called me. I need to stop taking it so personal. I need to stop caring so much about people, especially ones who do not even appreciate it. Again, I have my dogs and horse and cat and love each and everyone individually. They are my life and I wouldn't trade them for all the tea in China. Well I guess I better get back to work, I'm working at the college till 6P tonight so it's gonne be a long day at the office and sitting around. I think I might go to Walmart later and buy a $5 dvd and watch it on my lap top at the college since it's always dead there. Have a great day everyone, and tomorrow I have plans on riding my boy!
Later that afternoon I rode one of the paint ponies to get ready for a show the barn was going to on Sunday. Her rider isn't very strong or assertive and this pony can be a hot ticket so it was time to play good cop and bad cop. We worked a lot on the flat with bending and listening to inside leg outside rein. She woould much rather go around turns like a dirt bike then a normal balanced pony. She was actually getting quite pissy at me, but was starting to improve. Then we worked on some jumping concentrating mostly on being straight through the lines and after, again not cutting those corners. This pony also loves to take BIG spot to jumps. Basically launching herself, she is not afraid of anything, but we worked on getting to the base of the jumps and having nice and relaxed strides. She actually did quite well, but by the end of the ride I was exhausted. This pony is the like the energizer bunny and it takes a lot to not only correct her but to keep her there. I hoped that when the girl had her lesson the next day before the show the pony would be so glad that it wouldn't be me riding her that she would be a little more attentive to the other riders aids and use some of the things we had worked on.
Saturday the barn was a zoo. The day before a show is always crazy. The indoor was packed tighter than a can of sardines. All of the crossties were full with people pulling manes, cleaning socks, shaving bodies and braiding manes and tails. Possum and I were barely able to even get around the ring, nevermind really having the chance to work on a lot. I decided to stick to cantering 20m circles and work on our canter-walks. Our downward transitions can always use some work. Then after riding I stuck him in a stall to munch some hay because we couldn't even make it out of the indoor because it was so full of horses. I love the hustle and bustle of a barn though. Everyone's excited and nervous and we chat and talk about what we all need to work on and just to ride our best courses and not worry about the placings. My roomie and I ended up staying there till after 6P and then went home and had dinner while the dogs passed out at our feet.
Sunday I actually got up early, took a quick shower and let the dogs out and gave them all kisses and headed to the show to watch and help out. It was a little depressing at first to not have Possum there, but the good shows are to come and we'll be at those ones. This is basically a fairly small schooling show but has the classes to qualify for the Medals at the end of the year. On my way to the show I was jamming out to Metallica and eating my breakfast sandwich and apparently had a heavy foot. I got pulled over by a sheriff going 66 in a 45. OOOps! He immediately wrote me a ticket for $215. I was so bummed and disappointed in myself. That was like a whole horse show and then some. I called my roomate and she said she would see if there was anything that she could do for me. I love having a police woman for a roomate heheh. I got to the show and took over duties of doing the girls hair and holding horses and adjusting saddles that had slipped back due to too much show sheen. I went over courses with the kids and watched their rides. For once it was actually relaxing to not have to worry about memorizing my courses, cleaning my boots constantly and waiting for my turn in the ring. It was nice to watch everyone do their best in the ring and I must say that no one disappointed. Everyone rode their best and had their game faces on, and the horses for the most part were on their game as well. The show ended early since we didn't have anyone in the upper divisions. Usually I am the last one showing and everyone has to wait around for me haha. I went home and cleaned my room and washed my bed and folded and put away all of my laundry. I then vacuumed my room and tidied up. I then took a 2 hr nap with the dogs while watching Star Wars.
As for the guy situation, or should I say lask of situation. I just don't know what to do, and I think that's my problem, there is nothing that I can do. I did talk to "G" on Sat night and I guess his great relationship with the other woman isn't panning out to be what he thought, hmmmm canI say "Told ya so!" Anyways, Greg has also been a little distant. He bought a girl flowers last week and I found out about it from someone else and asked him about it. It just made me feel basically like shit even though he got all mad at me ad said that their just friends and that she is going through a divorce too and her birthday was the next day. Whatever, I need to somehow reel my feelings in because they are obviously not being reciprocated. I swear I wish I could just get men out of my head, they seem to be the stem of all my stress. I just really miss having someone. I love being in a relationship and doing thing for someone and knowing that I always have someone to talk to and be close to physically, it really kinds sucks. Greg was also all pissy yesterday because girls were fighting over him. I told him they would be knocking down his door. He's a very good looking guy who is well established and funny as hell. For many girls, that's their ticket out of their own life and into his. Greg is very much attracted to the prissy girls with immaculate finger nails and gorgeous hair. Perfectly done make-up and clothes that always flatter and ones you find in Cosmo magazine. I'm just not that girl. I wear jeans for the most part. I like big comfy sweatshirts. I usually have dirt under my nails from the barn, I'm not afraid to get dirty. I wear minimal make-up and always leave my hair down and untamed. And I'm a little chunky now. I can't get down on myself though. I just have to believe that somewhere out there is a guy who will love me for who I am andwhat I love to do in my life. I;m just looking for some normalcy in my life. All I want is steady eddie and normal, is that so much to ask? So ofcourse it's 10:20am and Greg still hasn't texted or called me. I need to stop taking it so personal. I need to stop caring so much about people, especially ones who do not even appreciate it. Again, I have my dogs and horse and cat and love each and everyone individually. They are my life and I wouldn't trade them for all the tea in China. Well I guess I better get back to work, I'm working at the college till 6P tonight so it's gonne be a long day at the office and sitting around. I think I might go to Walmart later and buy a $5 dvd and watch it on my lap top at the college since it's always dead there. Have a great day everyone, and tomorrow I have plans on riding my boy!
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