Monday, October 20, 2008

I'm Alive!

Sorry to worry everyone. Once I left work on that Friday I havn't had any internet access and had a very bad riding accident on Sunday as some of you have heard. On a positive note, I did get the job!!! Out of over 20 applicants I won them all over.

As for the accident, it was a mojor accident and poor timing and communication. As I blogged about before; we went to a boarders house for a fun day of food games and horses and it turned almost deadly during the dash race. I'm OK, I broke the T6 vertebre in my back. After 8 days I am still in a good deal of pain. I was supposed to start my new job today but simply couldn't. They were great and really understood the situation. I'm going to call my new boss Wednesday but she doesn't expect me to start until next Monday since I am still mostly bed ridden. I see a surgeon this week about possible surgery but they don't expect right now that it will be necessary.

My roomate was also involved in the accident and she didn't break anything, but she got pretty banged up and the other man involved dislocated his shoulder and has a fracture in his shoulder, I'm hoping that he heals quickly.

I'm not going to go into too much detail of the accident itself since a lot of people from the barn read this and I guess there is still some controversy but I do want to set the record straight here. At no time did I mean to put myself, my horse, other people or others at risk AT ALL!!! It was an accident that happened at about a speed of 40MPH and everything just went wrong. It was no one's fault and I believe that no one is to blame, Hell I didn't even want to be the first to race but reluctantly did so. The horses involved are doing just fine and will make a quick and speedy recovery. From what I hear Possum was galloping around his pasture which makes me happy. I will say that through this there has been some tension at the barn which makes me very very sad. I wake up almost every night and run the events through in my mind and it just keeps coming out the same. The people who I thought were my bestest friends and biggest supporters have really let me down in this time of need. I am very sad about this and have tears in my eyes as I write this. The accident happened in a matter of seconds and I had to make some quick decisions on my welfare, my horses and others. I can say that as I was approaching the horse who then backed 3 steps up directly in my path, my only thought was to not hit the horse and rider in the middle becaise it would kill them for sure. I saw a brief opening to go around as far as I could since there was also a horse racing on my left and just as we were going by the horse backed and we collided into the hind end. It sent me sailing several feet in the air doing all kinds of acrobatics and I landed on my back and then my hip and left side. I never lost consciosness and remember the entire thing. I had no idea that any other people were hurt since I was face up and could not breathe. It was so bad that the police were called because they thought I might die and kept saying things like "her pupils are fixed and dialated" and "she won't breathe". How someone could get angry or mad at a situation like that I will never know. I have spoken to all the people involved in the crash and they are doing well. But I will never forget the sickening sound of a horse colliding with another and the silence of flying through the air. My horse literally flipped over causing the horse running next to us to lose her footing and go down with my roomate. It was a mess and something that I hate to keep thinking about.

Throughout all of this my roomate and "G" have been wonderful supports. They have had to bathe me and take me to the bathroom. Help me up from bed and do things for me, I will be forever grateful for their help and support. Things with "G" are great and he has really risen to the occasion. After I was released from the hospital the next day he was there to take me to his house and help me up the stairs. He bought a brand new TV to put in the bedroom for me to watch. He gave me my medicines and rubbed my head until I fell asleep and now has been a shoulder to cry on through all of this. I guess through all of this you really know who has your back (literally). I have a lot of emotions running through me and don't even feel comfortable visiting the barn due to the tension. I miss my horse but can't even lead him out of the pasture because of my back and hip. I'm here at my parents house as this is one of the first days I can drive on my own. I don't even want to go back home and lay in bed alone listening to the silence of my phone not ring.

But just wanted to say hi to all my blogger friends and let you know that I'm expected to make a full recovery and will be back on and riding in 3 months or so. Don't know when I'll have internet again but I am getting a new laptop with my job so hopefully by next week I'll be back on. Thanks everyone for your positive thoughts, prayers and well wishes, they are greatly appreciated.


Leah Fry said...


I'm thanking God you are not hurt worse than you are! Just from the little you said, it sounds horrific. Risk is inherent in what we do, even when it's not racing, or jumping. You are experienced enough that I'm sure you made the best decision you could, based on what was happening and how much time you had to figure it out. There is no doubt in my mind your intentions were good, regardless of the outcome or what others may say.

Keep the faith and get well!

And CONGRATS on the new job!!!

Anonymous said...

I hope you heal soon.

Laura said...

Wow. What a tough thing to have happen. I thankful to hear that you weren't hurt worse and that Possum (and roomie+her horse) are doing ok as well.

Glad to see you up and posting something here. I really hope that your pain goes away soon and that you can get up and about on your own.

Great news that you got the new job, when you are ready to go back, it will be nice to have.

Glad to hear that G and your roommate have been helping you - that's the kind of thing I was hoping to hear.

Like Leah Fry said - I'm sure you made the best decision that you could at the time - doesn't make it any easier to hear that though...

Take care - we are all thinking of you out here in blogland!

Melanie said...

Ughhhhh....I am so glad that you, Possum, and the other people and horses involved are OK. It sounds like it was a nasty little tumble that you all took!

Sorry that people are not being supportive. Funny how you discover who your true allies are when something terrible happens. Glad that G has stepped up to the plate!

Congratulations on your new job as well!!! There is always light at the end of the tunnel, right?
Get lots of rest and I will look forward to your next post. :)

cdncowgirl said...

First of all thank goodness none of you were hurt worse!!
I'm sure that you reacted in the best way possible (but I'm wondering what the heck someone was doing backing their horse in the way of the racers??)
Just like in a car accident you only have a few precious moments to decide what to do, sometimes an accident can only be minimized not entirely avoided.

Now, CONGRATS on the new job! Its good to hear they let you start later due to your accident instead of just saying "Thanks anyway, "next"" and hiring someone else.

I'm glad you posted, we were all worried about you. When you have time I tagged you on my post "Mrs Mom started it"

ezra_pandora said...

Hi there, I've been reading your blog for awhile, but this is my first post. Accidents are so scary, especially with injuries. I hope that you pull through with no lasting effects and thank goodness no one else was seriously hurt. It stinks when people the atmosphere at your most favorite place (the barn with your horse) is hostile or tense. Emotions run high when things happen and hopefully everyone will calm down and forgive and forget or at least get over whatever it is that did/they think happened.

I hope it all turns out ok for you.

spellbound said...

The gals here in Ohio wish you a speedy recovery. I cannot imagine how you are feeling right now. So glad to hear Possum is okay.
I've been following your blog for a while now. I am so impressed with your bravery and willingness to try new things.
It is true what others have said, sometimes these types of situations bring out the worst in people. Certainly, this accident was not your fault and certainly you would have changed things if you could.
At least everyone is okay as well as the horses.
Congrats on the job. Remember that good things happen for good people. Life has been throwing some pretty tough stuff at you lately but you have handled it with grace and strength. You'll get through this too.
You have lots of supporters in blogland who believe in you.
Get well soon and keep us posted on your progress.
Beth (centralohiohorsehappenings)

Stephanie said...

Hi there,

I little late to the party, I went home last night ate dinner and promptly fell asleep. So didn't this read till now.

You know I am ready just so glad that you will eventually be ok. I am done with my bed rest so I know what you are going through, exactly how boring it can be - but just hang in there you'll be out and about in no time.

I am also so sorry for the lack of support you are receiving and tension you are getting. After we spoke I kept trying to figure out where that would be coming from and am at a loss...but it's human nature to error so perhaps at sometime in the future the situation will correct itself. Until then I hope you know that you can count on your blogger friends for support!

Get better, rest, and get riding again, from my own personal experience with wrecks I can say that the faster you can spend some time with your horse the better you will feel emotionally - they have a way of making everything better

Anonymous said...

I'm glad you're going to be alright. Rest up and heal up soon!

Denise- LessIsMore17 said...

OMG how horrifying. WOw. Glad you'll be OK and that Possum is OK too...that really sucks about the blame and barn tension...
Jingles for a fast reovery and congrats on the new job!

Heidi said...

I was wondering why we hadn't heard from you in awhile! I'm so glad to hear you are doing okay. And also really glad to hear that you are being taken care of. Sorry about the barn situation... hopefully things will blow over with a little time :-(

YAY for the new job!!!! I had a good feeling about it after your post about your grooming demo. That is one less thing for you to worry about right now. Feel better soon!

Anonymous said...

Oh my dear, dont think for a moment that this was your fault. Thank goodness that Possum feels well enough to run. I hope that you will feel like running soon, as well. God be with you.

Maybe Mae said...

Sounds terrifying, but I'm so glad everyone -- people and horses -- are going to fully recover. You did all that you could and sadly, accidents happen. Thank goodness you have "G" to support you (literally and figuratively) at this time. I hope the tension eases away at the barn and you can feel comfortable again there soon. You have my sincere wishes for a speedy recovery!

And hey, at least you have an interesting ice breaker for your first day at the new job! :)

Anonymous said...

maybe you should let people know that the race didn't even start yet, and the people at your end of the race could clearly see the GREEN horse and rider and many other people in the road ahead of you. don't you think they should know that? maybe thats why your not getting any support =]

Anonymous said...

Accidents happen. And MISTAKES happen. I wasn't there--I'm not even in your time zone--but damn. It sounds like Sidetracked got hurt worst of anyone and you're attacking her on her own blog?
I'm glad i don't ride at your barn.

Anonymous said...

She was not hurt the worst. An innocent man is out of work for the winter and can't provide for his family because of her. She didn't even say sorry until she found out that the barn owner doesn't want anything to do with her, then she felt as though she needed to make it right. Sorry to be rude, but she just doesn't get how bad she messed up. And we ride at the same barn as her, you just had to be there okay?

Anonymous said...

It must be nice to be perfect and never make mistakes.

Anonymous said...

We are all full of weakness and errors; let us mutually pardon each other our follies

An accident is a specific, identifiable, unexpected, unusual and unintended external event which occurs in a particular time and place, without apparent or deliberate cause but with marked effects.

If you ride a horse there is a risk factor period and that goes for about anything in life. Accidents happen car, plane, whatever.

Before passing such harsh judgment did you ask yourself; was this a deliberate act, did this person intend on hurting or possibly killing herself, horse and friends? Was it pre-meditated, has she gained or does she stand to gain anything positive from this event?

Now does it make you or anyone else feel better to blame someone does it help the

"innocent man is out of work for the winter and can't provide for his family because of her"

in any way? Would you/anyone else feel better about the situation if she were more seriously injured or even killed?

I am sorry for those whose lives have been effected by this unfortunate accident.

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong".
Mahatma Gandhi

Serena said...

Well said!

Melanie said...

Hey you!!!! How is life and that new job treating you?

Mickey said...

I am so sorry to read about your accident.

and I am equally perplexed by some of the rude comments from your fellow riders at your barn.

Riding horses IS a risk. People make mistakes. And life goes on in spite of them.

I hope you feel better from your injuries,and that your new job is going well. Don't worry about the rude comments from some of these people on here. They must be young and immature, and also must be perfect.

I am older, and hopefully wiser. And I have come to realize that when times get tough, you do indeed know who your friends are. And friends forgive when a mistake is made. I hope you find some new "friends" at your new job.

My heart goes out to you. Please know that you have friends out here in blogland. I love following your blog, and always enjoy seeing what you and Possum are up to. You inspire me as I am just getting back into riding.

So hang in there. Please continue to post, as many of us enjoy so much following your blog. Maybe just moderate the comments, so you can keep the meanies, with nothing better to do with their time than backstab people off of here!

Oh, and maybe take off the anonymous post. Make them show who they really are!! :O)


Ardens Mommy said...

hope you start to feel better, don't want to get into the barn drama but glad you didn't get hurt worse. =]

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Stephanie said...

Anonymous said...

She was not hurt the worst. An innocent man is out of work for the winter and can't provide for his family because of her. She didn't even say sorry until she found out that the barn owner doesn't want anything to do with her, then she felt as though she needed to make it right. Sorry to be rude, but she just doesn't get how bad she messed up. And we ride at the same barn as her, you just had to be there okay?


This sort of behavior helps and solves nothing. Does it make you feel brighter to blow someone else's flame out?

After an accident when you are severely injured your first thoughts are not "gosh who needs to apologize to whom in this situation?" it's usually "OH MY GOD am I gonna die? I am in SO MUCH PAIN, can someone get me something for the pain? Is my horse okay? How bad am I hurt? Holy shit this hurts! What the hell happened?"

Afterward while you are laying on your couch at home, drugged to the hilt, your thoughts still aren't "Gee do I need to apologize to anyone?" It's usually simple ones like "I'm thirsty can you bring some water...dang it I have to go pee again...shit this hurts....can I have some more pills yet?...ahhh getting sleepy..."

It take time to where you get thing together again to the point to where you can think clearly and normally. I know, I just broke my back don't have to be there at all to understand what is going on.

It's nice that you can sit up there on your high horse and cast judgment down on others. I wish I could be as perfect as you someday.

20 meter circle of life said...

Welcome back you were missed. Glad you are LOVING the new job..
Remeber time heals all wounds, both in the body and the emotion.

Dont let the Butt Heads bring you down. An accident is an accident and thats all there is to it.

Perhaps it is easier for some folks to lay blame rather to look inside themselves.
Hugs and take care