Friday, May 29, 2009

I'm a bad horse mom

OK, SO I'm feeling a little guilty right now. I havn't even been to the barn to see my horse in over two days, nevermind riding. The weather lately has just been sapping the energy out of me and I have had no motivation to ride in this crappy weather. I need to get moving this weekend though. I have no big plans and Nick is hiking Mt. Katahdin so I'll have the weekend to do whatever I like. My poor horse probably thinks that I abandoned him. Actually he's probably loving this little break. From here on out I need to stick to a strict training schedule before our big show on June 20th. We really need to work harder on our 3ft courses and getting more rhythmic instead of racing towards the jumps. It's hard sometimes because Possum loves jumoing a little too much and as soon as he sets his sights on the next jump he tears off at it. The bigger they are the faster he thinks he has to go to get over it and onto the next one. It's not that funny when your paying $30 a class and he's acting like a jumper in a jump-off. He should come off this little vacation with a fresh additude and be ready to work. I'll definately do some ring work this weekend and sprinkle in some trail rides as well. I rarely get to trail ride him anymore cause Nick has been riding him so much. I miss my calm and brave and collected trail horse. I love the fact that we can gallop at full speed, I can pull him up and then walk out on a long rein with no problem.

The weather this weekend is supposed to hold out for the most part, I think only a slight chance of showers and temps in the 60's and low 70's, prefect for me. I could never live in the south where it gets really hot. If I'm cold I can always put more clothes on, but when I'm hot you can only take off so many clothes and usually that doesn't even help. Horse shows in the dead of summer are tough for me. More then once I've had to duck into my car with the AC cranked to try and cool down quickly before I pass out. I have a histiry of heat stroke and it's not fun if your on a horse.

Well that's about it for now. I will ride this afternoon and get myself in gear. Plus the dogs are a little pissed too since they havn't been to the barn in a while. Everyone will be happy this afternoon.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Rainy middle of the week

Possum waiting to go in the arena for a ride. This is a funky angled phone picture, but hey it's still him.
Possum sporting his nwe open front jumping boots that I got at Dover for a great price.

I was so happy to have my long weekend that I was kinda bummed to go back to work yesterday, although it is only a 4 day work week which is cool. I actually didn't do a whole lot of riding this weekend, I went to watch a lot of horse shows. On Saturday I went to watch an open show to see a couple of my barn friends show. It was a good day and they both did well. I started riding at this club many years ago in the walk-trot that I still know a lot of people up there so it was nice to check in.

Sunday I went to watch a hunter show that a bunch of people from the barn were in. I spent most of the day there. It rained a little later in the morning and then it cleared and was a beautiful afternoon. Everyone from the barn cleaned up and I was really proud of everyone. I have a hard time just watching at shows cause it really makes me want to get up and ride. If horse shows were free you can bet I would be doiung lots more showing. Possum and I have a big show to look forward to on June 20th which should be really fun but it's mega expensive since it's also double judged.

Monday I spent most of the day at the barn. I did stalls and then Nick came over and he and I and a couple teenagers decided to ride to the pond, the ride went well for the most part. Nick has been so busy lately with work and putting docks in the water at night that he is exhausted and totally stretched to the limit, which I don't blame him. He is only riding once a week about, but has improved greatly and I don't feel like I need to baby sit him as much. Possum is also doing really well with him and really likes Nick. I'm proud of my little boy (Possum).

Not a whole lot else is going on. Working as usual. Hanging at home most nights. It's raining hard today and all of tomorrow so I don't know if I'm gonna ride. I hate going from riding in the big outdoor where they are lots of jumps to riding in a much smaller indoor with minimal jumps and which is kinda dusty this time of year. I guess I'll decide when I get out of workt tonight. The dogs have been great. They bounce back and forth from my house to Nicks. Whenever I go over to visit him, he insists that the dogs come as well, I think it's just too cool that he gets along with my animals so much.

The other night I had a mini melt down. I was at Nicks and all of a sudden it just hit me that I was starting to have feelings for him and I didn't want to go down the same path that I went with Greg. I know that Greg and Nick are two different people, but it's really hard to trust someone right now, and I'm pretty sure that Nick does not feel the same as I do right now. That's not to say that he likes me and hanging out with me and is attracted to me, but the thought of actually getting together I don't think has entered his mind. I want to be more like that damnit! But I worked through it and luckily last night was my scheduled counseling appt. and I was ably to work through some of my mental blocks with her. I still feel kinda bad for wigging out on Nick, but if he really cares for me he'll over look it. We are still hanging out on a regular basis and it has yet to get old. He's such a great guy and really cares about a lot. He's goofy and crazy but he makes me happy right now so I'm gonna go with it as far as I can cause I need to be happy right now.

Other than that things are pretty much the same. We have some minor barn drama going on which is always interesting, but what barn doesn't have their moments. I think in the end things will work out to be good and maybe even better than they were with some tension eleviated. I can't wait for the summer and to take some time off and chill. I have some family coming to Maine to visit this weekend so I'll be hanging out with them some soon.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Why We Love Horses

This is a question that most horse people either face on themselves or have other people ask them. Some people think that's it's genetic, passed down by other horse lovers in the family. We see this a lot especially on the showing circuit or children of trainers. As for me, I essentially have no one in my family that has been into horses nearly as much as myself.

My aunt on my dads side had two horses when she was a kid. She had no idea how to take care of them, no idea about worming or tack fit or even how to ride. They basically fed their quarter horse and Morgan and had a farrier slap some shoes on. She later sold the horses when she went to college. She didn't ride that often and usually only for novelty when family members or other friends wanted to ride. She begged my grandfather for a horse at the age when most girls do and he caved in and got her two for the price of one, lucky girl! When she bought her 2yo QH she sent it out for a month of "breaking" and got it back and then rode on trails. She didn't take lessons or study the different styles of riding. She didn't hem and haw over health and nutrition as most equine enthusiasts do today. Did her horses survive? Ofcourse, they did just fine and acted like normal happy horses. Do horse people today sometimes over analize horses and horse care, I tend to think so. We like to take the fun and romanticism out of owning and working with horses. Sure being knowledgable is a great tool, and especially knowing how to ride and handle horses is a great skill that not only ensures safety but can also prolong the longevity of the horse through fitness and nutrition. But why do we love horses so much?

For me I can't remember not ever loving horses, or wanting a horse. I read every book I could get my hand on, I was pressed at the car window looking for horses at farms we passed. I loved the smell of manure and would always lovingly dode over the horses at wagon rides or other occasions in public, secrety hoping to bond with the horse in just those few short minutes.

I remember that my elementary school had a sort of career day and one of the presentations you could go to was watching a farrier trim a horse. I signed both of my sessions up for that and watched with intense scrutinity. How they handled the horse, how the horse felt in my fingers, the dynamics of the hoof and especially staring deep into their eyes. At the end of the sessions I took out a little sandwuch bag and carefully picked up the hoof trimmings to bring home as a souvenir. It was about a week later that my mom came into my room and demanded to know what the awful smell was and found my bag of rotting hoof trimmings. They were promptly thrown out and the trash taken out of the house. I knew I loved horses. Every book report in school was about horses, every free writing story I did was on horses and every daydream was based on riding through open fields galloping over and over never getting tired and everything was great.

Never did I dream that I would end up owning a throw-away horse who was abused and hated people. He was not the striking beauty that I had always imagined, and his eyes remind me of those of Jaws. Sometimes I need to remind myself to just relax in the moment and not over analize everything. Ask the questions of why I love horses so much and what draws me to them. It doesn't matter what they look like, or even how they act (although that can help) A horse is a horse is a horse. I tell non-horse people all the time that it's a disease. It takes all of my time and money and energy but I wouldn't have it any other way. I believe that everyone has a passion in life. Some people havn't found it, other have and do nothing about it and there are those of us that are living our passion. Horses are my passion. Their hard work and can privide much frustration and anxiety. But we love them way more than they annoy us.

Possum and I have grown to love each other and have a very strong bond. It wasn't until Nick kinda took over duties on Possum and I had to catch other rides that I really started to miss him. Our training together has progressed over the years and we trust and respect each other, the two things that are always desired in an equine partner. Is he an amazing show horse? No. Do we have our issues, Ofcourse. But he's mine and I'm his and we both know it.

Because my parents did not advocate for me riding and being around horses, all the knowledge and experience I have gained has been through hard work and determination. I'm not a natural rider, not by a long shot, but I'm happy with the process that it's taken to get me there. I feel like I know horses and how they think and react and can get in their heads and understand for the most part why they do the things they do. It's a great feeling. I am by no means an expert and don't even think that I want a profession in horses. I'm afraid that if you make it too much like work you lose that child like mystique. Sometimes I catch myself galloping through open fields with a huge smile on my face and in complete zen and realize that I am living my childhood dream. It's those moments that I try and catch and hold onto. I think of those when I'm down and out about guys or feeling stressed at work and just plain feeling lonely. The times when I'm cantering through the woods with my friends and I'm laughing so hard that I almost fall off, those I cherish and will take with me everywhere. So when I get caught up in training schedules, and worming and shoeing schedules and showing frenzies, I sit back and remember the girl looking out the car window hoping for a glimpse of a horse and realize that I'm lucky every day to be doing what I do and living my dream.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Couple of Pics

Snapped a quick picture of Possum as he was eating his dinner on loose priviledges around the farm. Now that it's spring he always gets some time loose on the farm to help out with the grazing duties. You can see he is really fit right now and has that nice flank muscle.

This is my Abby girl. I was sitting on the swing outside the arena and had to take this pic. She is such a sweetie. All of my dogs love going to the barn. Gotta love the four white tips of her feet. Looks like she walked through wet paint.

Feels Like Summer.....

Today it's about 85 degrees and full blast sun. Yes I have to work all day and have been in and out of schools, but I'm at the college now to spend 3 hrs doing whatever I want. I brought a good book and if I get sick of that I also brought a DVD to watch on my lap top. Things have been good this week, busy but good. I've hardly been in the office this week between a meeting all day Tuesday and my normal school schedule. I am totally psyched for the long holiday weekend though. I'm going Saturday to cheer on a couple people from my barn at a fun show that they are bringing their green horses to. Their going to give their horses experience of being in the ring with others and to experience the atmosphere of a show. It should be fun and I'm excited to just help them out and chill in the outdoors.

I've been busy riding Possum lately. Nick hasn't been out to ride since Sunday so I've had Possum all to myself. We had a grueling work-out on Tuesday night which tells me that we have way more to do to perfect the 3ft courses. He loves to rush the jumps, as soon as he has his sights set on it it's almost impossible to take him off it. I try and mix it up with roll backs and broken lines. The one good thing about the ride is that I can feel my position getting stronger. My legs are tighter and my core strengthened. We have a big show coming up June 20th and I would really like to do well and not totally embarass ourselves.

Yesterday Possum and I and a boarder rode to the pond since he didn't know where it was. Yesterday was a picture perfect day weather wise. It was in the low 70's and clear with a slight wind in the air. Just gorgeous and a perfect day to be with my favorite horse. We went to the horses bellies in the pond and just let them relax and then headed back to the barn. We got in a nice gallop through a sloping field which just took my breath away. I think we were all having fun.

Nick and I have still been seeing each other almost on a daily basis. I don't believe we'll hang out tonight, but you never know with him. He has been very busy with work lately. His family owns a large marina and with Memorial weekend here everyone wants their boats ready and docks in the water. Poor boy is working over 13 hrs today. I think I might offerto bring him some dinner, but he might just pick something quick up on his way home. He said that his plans are to play PS3 soccer until he passes out, my guess is that will be about 10 minutes haha. Poor guy doesn't have a break this weekend either. I might need to do something special for him to cheer hin up, but not sure of what it is yet. Things are going well with us and I am trying very hard to take everything as just face value. We love hanging out with each other and talking. It's great to connect with someone like that again. I do believe that he is a genuine nice guy, but my radar has been off before so I'm still keeping an eye out.

Tonight my roomate and I are going to Home Depot and renting a carpet cleaner and cleaning all of the carpets in the apartment. Her dog has been sick lately and with a year's worth of dirt, throw-up occasionally and the rare accident on the floor it's well worth it to just get everything cleaned. Her dog has had major diarrhea and this is the best time to do it.

This weekend I am going to relax and do whatever my little heart desires. Horses, friends, maybe visit my parents and maybe a little quality time with Nick in between his busy schedule.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Back to the Grind

Had a great weekend for the most part and now it's Monday and time to get back to work. I actually got up this morning without too much protest which was good. I have a full day ahead of me and am just wanting to get through the week cause next weekend is a three day weekend and Memorial Day, the official start of summer YEA!!!

Nick and I basically hung out all weekend except for Saturday. Friday I went over to his place to visit with a few of his friends before they went to the bar and then it was him and I and one of his friends left that did not go. I have to say that I was a little anxious about meeting all of the new people only knowing Nick, but this is the test for me to to get out of my comfort zone bubble and get out there and be social. It went well and I was proud of myself, but I was glad when ost of them left. we had a great time of tipping back a few beers and chatting, we are all big talkers so the conversation was easy. I obviously crashed at Nick's because I was not going to drive home after drinking. The next morning I got up early and went home and slept a few more hrs and then got up and went to the barn. Hung out there for a while and rode Possum and then went home to do laundry and pick up and watch the Preakness. Nick went to hang with his friends for the night. I was actually perfectly content watching movies on TV and hanging with the pups. Early the next morning (Sunday) Nik stopped in on his way home and hung out with me for a while. We made plans to go for a trail ride after he got a dock in the water, He showed up at the barn at about noon and he rode Possum again and I rode my roomate's horse who ended up being a royal bitch!! She tried taking off with me, getting the bit in her teeth and just being stupid. I was really angry and by the time she calmed down a little and actually started listening to me I had listers and cuts all over my hands. If it's one thing I can't stand it's rude horses who know how to behave but just don't to be bitchy.

Nick did really well. He's cantering and learning on keeping his butt in the saddle. He even tried jumping barrels on their sides yesterday. He didn't fall off but it wasn't pretty. The last time he tried he finally started to get the feel of it it. This kid is truly fearless. Later that night He invited me to go to his grandparents house for dinner and then to his parents to watch the Celtics game with his mom and dad and sister and her husband. It was at this point that I kinda started thinking, I know this always gets me in trouble. Who invites their just friend to their families house?? But Nick is different that's for sure. SO last night he asked that I stay over at his house, which I reluctantly did. I was tired and the thought of driving the 20 minutes home didn't seem fun. SO I stayed and we had a little chat. I'm trying very hard not to over analyze this whatever relationship this is. But the more time you spend with someone and have a good time with them the more my brain wants to make sense of it all.

I totally think that I was a salmon in my past life as I always love to go against the flow and right now I just need to go with the flow. It's hard to re-program me but Nick is cool and patient with me and I know he would never try to hurt me, so I just need to work through this on my own and let things lay as they will. Once again this morning after I went home and showered and were lettting the dogs out Nick called just to chat for half an hour. This is how nice and considerate this guy is. He's always thinking of me and wants the best for me and for me to be happy.

Not going to the barn tonight since I have to work at the college until 6p and I'm pretty tired as it is. Nick has already said that he is coming over tonight to use our washer and dryer since he doesn't have one at his apartment and to hang out with me. Just relax Molly, chill and let things happen instead of always trying to make things happen.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Yeah, it's FRIDAY!!

I'm so excited it's the weekend. The weather is supposed to hold out for the most part and I can't wait to ride all weekend long. After I get out of work early this afternoon I might take a little snooze with the dogs and then head over to the barn. Nick asked if he could go for another trail ride tonight and I said sure. My hope is to get in a schooling session with Possum before the ride, but I don't want to tire him too much. It's been a few days since We've done any course work and we have our next really big show coming up June 20th. I was joking with Nick this morning that he needs to get another horse since I need to work mine. He took it all seriously and said that he could pay like everyone else to ride the farms horses. I reassured him that that wasn't necessary and that Possum really seemed to like him and it was a good match. I told him that little rides by him will not hurt Possum at all, actually Possum might like the break in mental stimulation. Nick said that as soon as he gets betetr riding he'll work Possum for me, I had to grin at that one.

My roomie left last night to drive to Virginia and she texted me this morning and said that she made it safe and sound. The house has been quiet without her and her dog. I'm just totally jumping out of my skin and chomping at the bit to get going this weekend. I'm totally free meaning that I'm not even on call which is great since it feels like I've been on call for the hotline a lot lately.

Possum should be all rested with having 2 days off and ready to go tonight. There are lessons going on until 8p tonight so it will be fun to watch and have people around. Who knows, maybe Nick and I will hang out after the barn, although I vaguely remember him saying that he was having a friend come stay with him tonight. Usually that doesnt matter and he's always asking me to come over. We'll see.

I'm bummed ebcause my half chaps zipper has finally shit the bed. I need to buy more which isn't a huge deal but it's still gonna cost me like $40 which is hard for me right now. Horses come first I guess. Nick has even wrestled up a pair of used men's Ariat half chaps that he's gonna wear from now on. He figured that out really quick after we came back from our trail ride and the inside of his calfs were rubbed raw from the stirrup leathers. He's tough, he can handle it. Also going to watch the Preakness this weekend. Should be interrestering. I'm more of a Breeders Cup gal than a triple crown, but you can't help but get hyped from other people. Just wish they wouldn't race those babies so young, wait one more year would ya???

Well have a great day everyone. Get on and work those ponies. I notice that Possum is bulging in muscle and nice and lean. He has the nice line of muscle on his flanks. His butt is well defined. His poll and top line are all nicely rounded out and his endurance is just amazing. I love my horse. Even though he is a throw away downhill mutt of a man killer it just goes to show you that with proper training, diet and mental stimulation any horse can look half way decent.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Thursdays Suck

Sorry bout the negative title, but I hate Thursdays, always have and always will. Wednesday is the middle of the week, Friday is obviously Friday and one step away from the weekend, but Thursday just sucks. It doesn't help that I am also bored out of my mind right now. I'm sitting at my office at the college with nothing to do since no kids ever come to talk to me. I play on the computer, read and catch up on paperwork, BORING!

Went to the barn last night. Didn't ride cause I had a dr's appt and got their late, plus it was really windy and cold. I videoed someone's lesson and just hung out. I went to the pasture to visit Possum. He actually moved away from the round bale to come chill with me which was cool. I tried to go to bed early last night, but I just couldn't sleep, I tossed and turned and was just in this in-between state. I'm kinda dragging ass today with little motivation. Maybe a quick nap after work will re energize me. My roomate is going to drive to Virginia for 3 days so the house is going to be really quiet and lonely. I have a feeling Nick will be over some to hang out, but it's still not the same as your girlfriend to chat with.

The weather was great this morning, sunny and warm, but now it is overcast and windy and threatening rain. I hate to say it, but I think I might skip going to the barn and just hang with my roomie before she leaves tonight. Nick also might be stopping by later. He is a disc golf fanatic and wants to get in a few rounds after he gets out of work. I think it's cool that he loves doing it so much and he's always asking me to go with him, but I'm usually at the barn. Maybe this weekend I'll go.

As for the trail ride the other night it was totally awesome!!! Possum was great with Nick which is something I was nervous about. Aragon was his usualy hyper self. We got to one point in the trail that you have to go around a snowmobile bridge and go down a little gully and cross a little brook and then a steep hill and a sharp right to avoid the trees. Aragon flat out refused to budge. This is not like his usual brave self. Possum did it like 6 times with Nick as I tried to put Aragon up his butt, even tried leading him from Possum but he wasn't having any of it. Finally after much persistence and lots of praise with every foot he stepped forward he took the plunge with me on foot. My only concern was that he would jump on my while trying to jump the brook, but he was very respectful and we were able to continue our ride. Nick did amazingly well and went along like a trooper being the total beginner he was. We did get to canter a little uphill and he did great only losing his stirrups once. I need to get him to keep his butt in the saddle though, he likes to do a sort of two point position crouching over the saddle, I see a true jumper in his future hahaha. We were out for about 2 hrs and Nick was obviously sore. Both horses though went right into the big pond. I think Aragon didn't really realize what it was, but I got him in there before his TB brain could take over and then he just said cool after. This is the first time he has been in deep water up to his belly and he did great. He's going to make me a great trail horse this summer for sure. The other good thing was that Aragon, being a stallion was great with Possum, they could even touch and they were fine. Definately a plus for a trail horse with balls haha.

Nick was smiling ear to ear when we got back to the barn and then continued to practice his cantering in the outdoor arena. I told him the more he practices and gets better he's gonna surpass me soon. We have plans for another ride tomorrow night which will be cool and the weather is supposed to be a lot warmer and nicer. I'm so glad that I found Nick as a friend, he isjust what I need right now.

I also found out stuff about Greg. He is definately dating this other girl, big deal. I still have heard no word from him which I am starting to feel happy about. Apparantly he told someone which got back to me that he feels bad about the whole situation and just didn't know what to do so just stopped talking all together (real mature) I guess he has plans to rekindle the friendship once the dust has settled, but I think I'm all set. You just don't treat your friends like that and I don't need his confusion and lack of healthy communication in my life. I'm a good person who consistently puts others ahead of myself and then I end up feeling empty and hurt. I'm working on myself right now and beng happy and hanging with my friends.

Well that's about all. Just bored and tired today. Can't wait for the weekend and the barn and fun stuff to happen that I can't even plan yet. Have a great day everyone.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Things are Progressing Forward

Things are going about the same as I wrote about the other day. This past weekend was a lazy one for me. The weather wasn't the greatest and Saturday had the most sunshine. I got dressed in my riding clothes and basically hung at the barn all day and didn't even manage to ride one single horse! I helped a couple people video their rides and just chilled. It felt really nice. Sunday was Mothers Day and it was rainy, but my roomie and I decided to go to my parents house on the motorcycle which is a good 50 min ride one way. It was an adventure and totally worth it. We went to eat at a good restaurant and then zipped home later in the afternoon. I then had to go to the work office for a little bit and just do some emails and stuff. I went back home and Nick came over to stay the night and we watched the Celtics game which was a nail biter.

Nick and I have been seeing a ton of each other lately and it's great. I'm up his ass, and he's up my ass and we don't get sick of each other, awesome. He's so funny and makes me laugh all the time and reminds me when I get too serious and keeps me in line. We have a good time. We'll talk all night long about anything and everything, go to sleep for a few hrs and wake up still talking right where we left off. Again I'll say that I have met my match when it comes to chatting and it's great. I am maintaining the emotional barrier well so far.

Went to the barn and rode Possum last night just for a flat ride. Worked on some suppling and flying changes. I just was having an off riding day and decided to take it easy. Nick suprised me by showing up for like half an hr before he had to go to a family birthday party which was cool. Nick did manage to get in 30 min practice riding Possum last Friday which was good. His posting is becoming perfected and he's really starting to find his center of balance. He has a real desire to learn which is cool. Tonight after work him and I are going to attempt a trail ride to the pond, the place which is the pic from my main page. Without cantering and minimal trot it'll probably take 2 hrs round trip. He's totally down with going. I'm going to be riding Aragon and him Possum so it should be interesting. I can't wait, it's calling for a hit or miss shower this afternoon and I hope it misses us. I need a nice trail ride with a good friend. Work has been crazy busy and it's gonna be good to recharge my batteries. Have a great day everyone.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Dare I say I'm happy right now??!!

Yes you heard it right. I am pretty happy with everything in my life right now. Sure there is always room for improvement and wiggle room, but things are pretty good. I rode Possum Wed night and did lots of flat and then trotted 2'6" fences working on my position and maintaining a solid leg connection. I was not happy with the results. I would either have grip in my calf and not thighs, or my back would round slightly. Then when it seemed I was getting it, Possum would land heavy and yank the reins to have me support him instead of sitting up himself. It was quite frustrating and I was a little angry with myself. My legs have always been my strong suit. Their usually rock solid and don't move over any size fence. Sure cantering is a lot easier than trotting bigger fences, but it should stay the same. So after that ride I went out last night and took the sturrups right off my saddle. It was do or die time. I did lots of sitting and posting trot until my legs burned so bad tears came to my eyes. I cantered some and then trotted fences. My upper thighs were on fire. It sucked, but I knew if it hurt it was working. I practiced cantering tight figure eights and then after about 30 minutes my body couldn't do it anymore. I literally slid to the ground and my legs groaned in protest. Possum just looked at me like "that's it for today, are you kidding me".

Suprisingly this morning I wasn't too stiff. I definately feel it and when I bring my legs together it's sore. I made a mental note to myself that I need to ride without stirrups atleast once a week until my legs get stronger. I'm also working on my automatic releases to strengthen my core so I don't depend on the crest release as much and am more free with my hands over the jump and quicker to gather him since he loves to get heavy and strong on the landings. Always a work in progress.

Been feeling stronger emotionally too lately. Starting to get over the hurt feelings that I have been feeling for Greg. I hear more and more things that he is doing with this girl, all things that we had done together and it's not as bad as it has been. My new friend Nick and I are having a great time hanging out and have been seeing each other almost every night this week. I think he's going to the barn tonight when he's done work to ride and hang for about an hr and then has things to do. That's OK, I'm kinda tired from all the late nights talking anyways. He makes me feel good and helps me get over the hurt from my past. He's just a really good friend right now and I feel like we can be completely honest with each other. No games and crap, just life and talking about it which he loves to do as much as I do.

Ao after work this afternoon gonna hang at the barn. Gonna try and ride Aragon first before Nick comes over. It's been rainy and cloudy for the past few days and today it's partly sunny to that helps to lift the spirits. Have a great day everyone and don't forget about Mothers Day on Sunday, I still need to get a card oops...

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Just relaxing

So it's Tuesday evening and all is quiet. I actually made my own dinner tonight, cleaned up and am now sipping on hard cider, my favorite adult beverage. I have been in a cleaning mood lately. The other day at the barn I decided to tackle my mess of a tack trunk and try and organize everything now that it's deep into spring and show season is under way. I actually decided to take notice of all of the things I have and it's startling. I am a saddle pad whore, literally. I love to collect saddle pads. Because I marshall the races in the fall I am always looking for colored pads to match outfits and such. I have mint green pads, lots of white pads both square and fittted. Pink, brown, green, plaid, blue and others. I actually took a count and there is 22 in total!!! Because I marshall the races I also have lots of polo wraps. Purple, pink, white, black, green and red. Ofcourse every one was not wrapped so I sat down and wrapped them all and put them in their place. I put my collection of bits in a spot as well that is easily accessible. Then folded all of my sheets and blankets, quarter sheets and coolers and placed them in the trunk. I organized my horse shampoos and supplies. Got out bug nets and put them on top to grab when I need and also rain sheets near the top. Bits of leather pieces such as standing and running martingales, lead shanks, his nice leather halter and spare leads all went to the bottom. Lastly I put all of Possum's boots together. Splint boots, galloping boots and open front jumping boots and shipping boots. Man do I have a lot of stuff, you would think that I own a whole herd of horses instead of one rescue appy. I swept up my space, got out all of my liquids such as Show Sheen, bug spray, saddle soap and conditioner and put them on the shelf above my saddle. I think I'm finally ready for the summer. Any bets on how long my space will stay neat hahaha.

Next I've been cleaning at home. My room has slowly become a mountain of clean and dirty clothes and old mail. I weeded everything out today, Washed and folded all of my clothes and towels, washed my bedding and put it all back together. Washed the surfaces in my room and threw out all the trash. Lastly I vacuumed everything. Sometimes I feel better when my things are clean and organized. I can let it go for a while and then I have these cleaning sprees and just have to get it done.

I'm not going to the barn to ride tonight. The weather is really crappy this week and Possum had a little swelling on his right front foreleg that I'm not sure how it happened. The person that feeds said that he and a mare got into it a little the other day and he may have stepped wrong or bumped something with it. It's not a big deal but it is a little puffy and slightly warm to the touch in one spot so I don't want to push it.

Not a whole lot else is going on. I pretty sure I'm going to bed early tonight since my new friend and I have been hanging out a lot and we get to talking and never go to bed, it's kinda nice but it's catching up with me now. Ofcourse no word from Greg, which I expect. My new friend knows Greg a little and has been great in giving me advice from a guy's perspective. It was also nice to hear him say last night that Greg definately passed up on a cool girl. I'm actually just starting to believe that myself now.

Gonna try and ride tomorrow night as long as Possum's leg is all better. Just going to work on the flat and get back to some basics and maybe work on some flying changes. My roomie also just bought a new camera so hopefully will have more pics to post soon which will be cool.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Getting Better

Had a great weekend if I do say so myself. I got tons of riding in. I rode Possum a lot and also rode Aragon twice this weekend. Yesterday I just rode Aragon and we hit the trails, real trails and not just dirt roads. We had mud and water and trees and brush and he did great with everything. He stepped in every puddle I asked him to, actually took a drink from them too. Went through all the mud and behaved himself quite well. He was rarin to go so after a few canters I let him pick the speed. He immediately shot forward and started eating up the ground. It's great to think that he enjoys galloping now when before he would suck right back and refuse to go faster than a little bunny hop canter. We had a great ride, just the two of us.

He's a getting a lot fitter too and putting on some muscle. Aragon is such a hard keeper. he can have a big ole hay belly but still be showing a little rib. He's just a slender boy who cribs like it's going out of style and isn't always interested in eating. I have noticed though that since I've been riding him regularly he has a better appetite which is good. His coat is absolutely gleaming and he has completely shed out unlike most of the other horses at the farm. I'll say it again, that I absolutely love plain bays, my favorite color.

I also made a new friend this weekend. Yes he is a boy, but he is really cool and is just what I need right now. He's outgoing, fun and man can he talk. I have totally met my match in talking. We talk for hours. I went to his apartment Saturday night to hang out and we ended up talking for almost 6 hrs straight. Barely had a pee break and we were back in conversation. As many of you are probably wondering, this is not a match for me. Our lifestyles are just too different. I mean who really knows, but I just don't see anything coming from this except a good friendship. The other thing I really like about him is he is totally honest, almost brutally honest which I like. He's super cool and is a good distraction from Greg and all his shit right now. Maybe someday he'll grow up, but it's not my problem and never really was. All I know is that he's totally missing out on a great and funny and smart and half-way decent looking girl. (sticking my tongue out now). After work tonight my roomie and I are getting on the motorcycle and riding around. We have to make a trip to the barn to put rain sheets on the ponies because their calling for rain tomorrow and cooler temps, and then we're just cruisin.

Things are looking up slightly which is good, I need to catch a break every now and again. Oh and I almost forgot to add that this new friend of mine thinks that horses are really cool. He has a sister that used to ride and he has hung out at the barn a lot. He already came out twice this weekend to chill and even rode Possum under my instruction for half an hr and did really well. He's getting the posting and steering down and has a real desire to learn which is cool, our sport can always use males that are into riding. Think I may have found a good friend on this deal and I'm happy, oh and he's pretty hot too which doesn't hurt things hehehe. Have a great day everyone amd love your ponies. I'll have another post either tonight or tomorrow.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

The beginning of the weekend

Just wanted to give everyone a quick update before I'm totally lost this weekend in the sunshine and warm temps and at the barn. I AM OFFICIALLY CLOSING THE CHAPTER ON GREG. Yes you heard it here. we talked a little yesterday and he is pretty much into this girl, yes they hang out and that means they probably do other things as well. He's a great guy with a lot of great qualities and he is probably playing with fire on this one, but I'm not his mother and I need to do my own thing. He'll find out one way or another. Also the guy that my roomieand I had a double "date" with turned out to be really weird. I was not attracted to him whatsoever. I felt bad because he was very nice and stuff, but nothing was there. I told him before we even hung out that I was not looking for anything serious, just friends. Well he took it badly. He freaked when I didn't call him every hour and started to say some nasty and mean things to me. Something that maybe a teeneger would do, not a 31 yo man!!! So that is all done and I'm kinda relieved.

Thursday night my roomie and I had a friend over. He is a very nice guy, but not bf material for me, we just have too different of lifestyles. He is very fun to hang out with and loosens me up and calls me out on being too anxious, I love it. We talked to about 4 in the am and it was great. Definately made a new good friend on this deal. Doesn't help that he is very cute too (slap my face, wake up girl no day dreaming) I mean looks have nothing to do with anything hehehe.

Last night rode Possum with a barn kid on a ten mile or so trail ride. Had a ton of fun and got to jump some jumps on a trail too. Possum was raring to go which shows me that our conditioning and riding has really gotten him back in shape which is awesome. He also had his shots done the other day so he is officially ready to do anything he or I want. Gonna go hang at the barn all day today as well and ride atleast Aragon and Possum and maybe get some sun. My friend from the other night, Nick also stopped by. He has an innate interest in horses which is totally cool. His sister used to ride at a barn so he used to ride some as well. He has a great eye and I think the potential to be a good rider if he put his mind to it. It would be great to recruit a new boy to riding. And he wants to ride english!!!! He says that he's secure in his sexuality and also finds english more confortable especially when you want to jump. He is too funny.

Well that's about it. Gonna make the best of the weekend. I have lost 15 lbs so far. I'm to the point that I am rarely hungry now. I'm only eating when my body needs it and nothing more. Lots of water and also sports drinks with electrolytes so I stay hydrated. So as I said before, I am done calling and texting Greg. This is his decision and I need to get out of the rut and get him out of my mind. Sure I'm hurt and I even ased him on the phone yesterday what happened with us because we seemed to be both into each other and he said thathe really didn't have an answer and would have to think about it. I'm thinking "bullshit" in my mind but I let it go at that. I'm trying to move forward and onward. As I told my counselor the other day I want this to be "The Summer of Molly". All about me and what I want to do and not wasting space in my mind thinking about stupid boys. On that note, I'm hittin the shower and going to the barn for the day. Enjoy!