What a Weekend!!!

It's now Monday and I'm still recovering from a crazy and hectic horse filled weekend, and I didn't even see Possum. Let me explain. I've talked to a woman online who lives in Maine, but about 4 hrs away and she does endurance riding with her arab/rocky mountain horse cross. She had an event this weekend pretty close to my parents house and she was looking for someone to crew for her so I volunteered not knowing what I was getting into. I took off early from work Friday and met her at the campsite around 12p. The place was a zoo, literally. Huge truck and trailers with gorgeous living quarters, basically million dollar rigs and such. I was in trailer heaven. I met the woman and the horse for the first time and then we got down to the business of educating me about endurance riding and what my responsibilities would be. Her dad would also be crewing for her so his job to to take care of her and my job was to take care of the horse. We got everything ready that we could, baggies of grain, beet pulp, packed totes and got out many water buckets with screw tops so that they wouldn't spill in the truck on the way to the pit crew stops. Got electrolytes ready, clothes both horse and human, food for the human and anything else you can think of. The riders meeting was at 7:30p so I stayed for a little after that and then went to stay at my parents house where I had dropped my dogs off earlier. It was about 10p when I finally went to bed and then got up at 3:15am the next morning. I got to the camp site and the 100 mile riders were set to leave at 5am so I helped her get herself and the horse ready. Gave him a dose of electrolytes and off they went down the trail. Her dad and I for the rest of the day went around at all the pit crew stops and vet checks. My job at the vet checks was to sponge the horse off to get his heart rate at and preferably below 64 bpm. Then strip him and have the vet check him over and then trot him out as they then checked him again. After the vet check there is a mandatory hold of about 20-50 minutes depending on the loop they are riding and then that's when we put as much food and water in both horse and rider as we can and get them in some shade. Then we tack up and off they go again. Crewing for a 100 mile endurace race was a very hard thing. I was constantly on the go, lifting, lugging, prepping etc... The weather held out for the most part with only a few showers, but it was so humid it made it hard to breathe and even harder for the horses to cool out. My rider finally finished the ride at 3am the next morning. I actually left a little early since I had to drive back to my parents house and then back to my house and I had already been awake and running around for over 22 hrs. But I got updates that she and her horse passed all vet checks with flying colors and with mostly all A's. The last two loops, 22 miles, were in the dark with glowsticks as markers, it was really cool waiting at the pit stops and then seeing them trotting with ther head lamps and glow sticks.

I don't think I'll ever ride in a 100 mile race, especially not on Possum, he would hate me forever, but I wouldn't mind doing a 50 mile one or something, preferably on someone else's horse. I had a lot of fun, but it was balanced with a lot of work. I was totally exhausted after and crashed at Nick's that early Sunday morning at around 2am since I was having a hard time staying awake driving and was singing to the radio to stay awake. I learned so much about endurance and the riders and all the work and technical planning it takes to have a good ride, it was really cool. It made me want to ride with them. So Sunday Nick had to get yup at 7am to put in some docks in the rain and I barely woke up enough to drive myself and the dogs the 10 min drive home and collapsed in my bed again for 3 hrs. I then got up and took a shower adn got dressed since Nick invited me to go with him to his nephews 2nd birthday party. I really took it as a good sign that he invted me to a family party. There were literally 30 people there and I'm not gonna lie and say that is wasn't a little intimidating. No one knew how to introduce me. Nick's GF, or Nick's friend, or just "this is Molly". It was kinda funny. After the party I went home and slept for a few hrs again while Nick and his guy friends all went disc golfing in the rain. I was plenty happy to sit this one out. Then we all met up again for dinner at a local brew pub and then him and I went to his apartment with the dogs and had some beers and went to bed.

It was a crazy busy weekend but was a lot of fun and I got a lot of exercise and learned so much. I really have a lot of respect for the endurance world and how dedicated they are to not only to their sport but their horses as well. I like to learn as much about other disciplines as I can. That's one of the reasons that I also marshall the STB races in the fall cause I love to see the different people and learn new things. Well that's about it to report on. I'm still dragging ass today, but I'm going to force myself to atleast see my horse tonight, and hopefully ride in the indoor since we're been getting so much rain lately it's horrible. We've gotten over 7.5 inches of rain so far in June which is a new record, but it doesn't make for good riding weather.

Here is a pic that I took of the woman right before dark on her ridel. She had already ridden about 75 miles a this point.

You asked for it, Nick and I at the show

While I was waiting for my classes to start Possum and I parked by the stands to watch the other riders and visit with our barn crew. Nick and I were talking about the show and he was asking questions while Possum took a snooze and atleast 2 people from our barn group snapped some pics of us. Possum really likes Nick and is totally comfortable with him as you can see by the half open eye lids.

Show Re-cap

The group of us from Avalon Meadows. We were having a lot of fun at this point. Yes, that is Nick pushing Moonshine's butt into the frame.

My friend Vicki on the left, my roomie in the middle and ofcourse me on Possum. If you look close you can see the top of Nick's head in Moonie's ears.

Cantering in a flat class

All of us discussing a group photo and strategy, this is normally what we look like at a show, everyone talking at once hehehe.

I've been so busy this weekend I hardly had time to post those pics, but I havn't posted in a while and I promised some that I quickly put them up the yesterday morning. As for the show I would call it a success. We only did 3 jumping classes since my adult medal was cancelled due to too little entries. The first course was rough, not terrible but we couldn't find our rhythm, either it was too slow or super speedy. But we got around and that's all that matter in this stage of the game. Our second course was much better. We had a better pace and rhythm and we got good spots and Possum was only mildly fast. The third course was not that great. Possum was hyper about this time since he had already been in twice and basically said to me "I know what I'm doing, let me go!". He was a handful and we knocked a rail pretty hard so much so that I thought we broke it. But as I've said before, this is a year for experience and not ribbons. We still placed fairly well and the second course we got 2nd from both judges which was cool. There were only about 5 riders maybe in that division. Th ehigher the fences usually the less riders. The most riders enter the 2'-2'3" and the 2'3"-2'6" divisions and then they all drop like flies when the jumps get up to around 3ft.

I was really happy with the course and the footing in the ring. It was nice and springy and the striding was good and appropriate for our height jumps. They had beautiful oxars and a birch vertical, it was super nice and I was really glad that I went. Guess who else went.....Nick. He siad that he actually had a good time. He visited with everyone from our barn and we were laughing and having a good time. He stayed through all the jumping and the hack class and then went back home after spending most of the day with us crazy horse girls. The flat classes as usual went great, we either won them or came in second. We also won the hack class which was super cool. The last flat class I was kinda spacing it and we were on the straightaway and they asked for the canter and Possum picked up the wrong lead for a stride before I quickly broke him down and switched it, but that put us out of the ribbons. It was a super long day and we didn't get home until 10:30p and the horses were also beat. I waitied until the next morning to take his braids out because we were both too tired and it was dark and rainy out. The weather did hold though for the most part, it only sprinkled a handful of times which was great, I can't complain about that. So over all I was pretty happy with the day. Even though Possum is speedy I was able to bring him back for the most part and we had one really good course which was great. I was working hard on my equitation which can be hard with a horse hauling you around the ring, but I stayed strong and my core muscles were aching at the end of the day.

Pictures as promised from Saturdays show

Let the games begin....

So I'm sitting here at work basically waiting for the doors to open and let me free to race around like a chicken with my head cut off for the rest of the weekend. As soon as I leave the office I'm literally racing home, changing into yucky barn clothes since it's absolutely pouring out and getting Possum set up for a quick bath out in the rain to get ready for the show tomorrow. I am seriously debating on wearing my bathing suit since it's that wet outside. When I say pouring, I mean pouring hard. So let's go through th elist of things I have to do tonight to get ready for the show tomorrow

Bathe Possum

Pack hay nets

Pack water bucket

Pack the truck with my tack

Wash show saddle pad tonight

Pack show clothes

Set out clothes to wear in the morning

Pack extra dry clothes and rain gear

Blanket Possum and wrap his back legs so they stay white

Trim facial hairs on Possum

Trim legs

Paint hooves

Pack brushes and extra rain sheet for Possum

That's all I can think of right now, but I'm sure I'll come up with a few more. It can be overwhelming to remember all of those things and not go crazy, especially when I'm just sitting here at work waiting to leave.

I went to the barn last night and took Possum out for a ride. I noticed after doing the pinch test that he was a little dehydrated so we gave him some more electrolytes and he drank about half a bucket of water shortly after that. He was actually a little lazy at first for our ride but as soon as we started jumoing he perked right up. We had to have some reminder halts and sharp half halts but for the most part it was an OK ride and I'm hoping that it's enough to take us to the show. ON a good note he didn't even nick any of the jumps and was really rounding and getting good form over them. As always he just needs to not be so heavy and quick. The barn owner even got on him last night to try out some new stirrups we were testing and said that he is one of her least favorite horses to ride. Nature was not kind on him with giving him a straight shoulder and being built downhill. SO after the ride I tucked him in for the night and gave him lots of hay and two buckets of water after he drank another half bucket when we were finished.

After riding I went with Nick and his friend Jon to go play disc golf a couple towns over. We were really lucky and it barely spinkled when we were there and we had a blast. I didn't really do too well but it was still fun. After; we went to a local pub and had a great dinner. It felt nice when Nick was all affectionate and huggey and kissey. When he first saw me he gave me the biggest hug and kiss I thought he was going to break me. He was all rubbing my leg at dinner and stuff. It feels nice to have someone like me and want to spend time with me. He's just really a great guy and I hope things keep going on the good track that they are. I totally have feelings for this dude. But the best part about Nick is that he loves all of my animals and they all love him. Whenever I go to his apartment he begs me to bring the dogs. He doesn't mind them hogging the bed and he was really concerned when Possum wasn't feeling well. That to me is one of the most important qualities in a mate. If you like me, you have to like my animals and they also have to give their approval. My dog Phin is the hardest critic and he adores Nick which is always a plus. Well that's enough blabbering, I'm going to go back to counting the minutes now. Don't know if I'll have time to check in before tomorrow but I promise to have pics to share after the show. No guarantee on if their going to be good or not, but I'll get some.

On the mend

Thanks everyone for your well wishes for Possum. He is doing great. I went to the barn last night after work and he was in his stall and was happy to see me. I took him out and looked him all over. He looked good. No swelling in the glands and was his chipper self. He has lost a little weight so we have been puttin the hay right to him and he's gobbling it up. Instead of riding I decided to take him for a run. Yes folks, I snapped a lead rope on his halter, was dressed in shorts and a tank top and headed down the road jogging with my horse in tow. Running with a hrose isn't always easy. He kept switching sides on me so I would have to switch my hand that was holding the lead rope. Now I am in no shape to run 2 miles up and down hills so I would stop and walk a bit and then start jogging again. All I can say is that my horse is in waaaaay better shape than I am. It puts me to shame.

When we got back to the barn I gave him a good grooming and he drank almost a whole bucket of water. I picked out his stall, refilled his water buckets and gave him his dinner hay and tucked him in for the night. He looked good and I have hoped of riding him tonight after work since this will be the last chance for a work out before the show Saturday. I think he'll be up for the task.

Before leaving the barn I loaded up my saddle and bridles and my roomies's tack and brought it all home to clean. I carried it up to the roof and had a little tack cleaning party since I wouldn't have time Friday night to do it. I cleaned and oiled and then oiled some more. All of my leather thanked me. Especially my bridle I use just for training at the farm, it was in sad shape. I took extra time on that one. So now all of my tack is ready to go and get soaked in the rain for Saturday, yea! (totally sarcastic). I just need to wash my show pad and then Friday night bathe and braid Mr. Possum and pack hay nets and tack and go to bed early. Despite the weather forecast I'm going to put a happy face on and enjoy the show. After all I'm paying an arm and a leg for it, I better make the best of it. Below are a couple pics of my clean saddle and bridle. The bridle is my show one, I use the happy mouth pelham and Possum goes pretty well in it for the most part. The other is my pride and joy saddle, a Circuit Pro. Have a great day everyone.

When things go from bad to worse....

SO I shared the fact that Possum was shivering the other day when it was raining but wasn't even cold out. SO I go to the barn the next day. It's slightly misting but I don't worry about it because he has his good rain sheet on and a shelter to go into if he has any problems. PLus the temps are in the upper 60's, not cold at all for Maine weather. So I bring him in the barn and take off his blanket and go about grooming him when I look at his side and flanks and they are all sunk in like he hadn't had anything to drink in years and had just ran 20 miles non-stop. It's very tight and you can hardly see him breathing because his muscles are so tense. I then go to his head and his glands where gthe head ties into the neck ae swollen like crazy. Both sides. I start to get a little worried, Possum has never been sick and this is just puzzling. He is pooping, eating normally and has a shine to his eye of normalcy. He is not slow and wants to move and acts normal in that aspect. His gums are pink and normal and with the pinch test he is not dehydrated. I walk him down to the indoor and by this time he is slightly shivering again, weird. I have the barn owner look at him and she is also puzzled. We take his temp and it's only slightly below normal. His skin is still cool to the touch. She advises that I maybe work him to get his temp up and maybe relax his tight flanks. She says to only do as much as he wants to. SO I tack him up and everything is normal. I get on easily and he walks off with purpose, he's ready to move. I ride him on a long rein for about 20 min. A good long walk and trotting and then he wanted to canter so I let him go large around the arena. I keep feeling his chest for signs of sweat or warmth, hardly any.

So I untack him and give him a good rub down and offer him water. I opt to put him in the stall for the night and get a heavier blanket for him to wear. I grab an armful of hay and he eagerly tears at it. I give him one more once over and he appears to be fine. His swelling in his glands has gone down some from the ride but his sides still look tight. The next day after work (yesterday) I go to the barn and he is happily standing in his stall. I go in and he is warm under his blanket so I take it off. His sides look much better, still a little tight but not bad. The swelling in his glands is gone but he is a little dehydrated. I give him some electrolytes and 10 min later he drinks half a bucket of water. I let him out to grave for a bit while I get ready to ride and talk it over with the barn owner. The only thing we can come up with is that he was allergic to soemthing and went into a little bit of a shock. The shivering, the swollen glands and the tight sides. His body was fighting off something. I make the decision to ride today since he looks good and is trotting around the yard like a crazy man. We have a decent ride and even throw in some jumping. He is acting perfectly normal and after riding I offer him some more water. I check him all over again, gums are pink, he is fully hydrated, his sides look normal and no swelling. His eyes are bright and he is not even tired. I out him in the stall again just to be safe but this time leave the blanket off since it's going to be 80 degrees tomorrow.

I really have no clear explanation as to why this happened. Nothing different has happened in his world, no immunizations or vet things done recently, no new hay, same paddock and everything. It's baffling unless some kind of bug bit him and made him have that kind of reaction but I couldn't find any sting marks or anything and I looked him all over. On a good note all of his cuts from the barrel incident are healed over and just little scabs now. Their clean and healthy looking and I'm happy for that. Tonight I'm going to the barn to check on him and throw him back out in his paddock before he goes crazy in his stall. I'm grabbing my tack and going home to sit on the roof and clean my stuff since it's actually a really nice day out. Just taking it day by day with Possum but this whole sickness thing is very odd, but thankfully he looks and feels great like nothing ever happened.

Gearing up for the weekend

SO because the weather has been rainy and basically crappy yesterday and now onto today I've been a little down. This is normal for me when the sun goes away and the temps cool down with a steady rain. I motivated myself to go to the barn yesterday. It was literally pouring. Possum was in the shelter with the other horses and I went to get him. I had to take a second look because he was shivering. I have never seen him shiver before, but he was definately shaking in his shoes. It wasn't that cold out, probably around 60 degrees but the rain must have soaked him just enough. SO I brought him in the barn and put a warm wool cooler on him to dry him off and warm him up. I gave him some hay to eat to help jump start his warming system. Of all teh years I've had him and in all kinds of weather I have never seen him shiver. His legs were shaking as well as his flanks. His stomach was all sucked in. I checked his gums to make sure they were pink and did the pinch test to see if he was dehydrated and all was fine. He pooped fine and within half an hour he had stopped shaking. I rubbed a clean dry towel all over him until he was almost dry. I had plans of riding him but after that ordeal I thought it would be mean so I threw a rain sheet on him and put him back out and stayed a little while to keep an eye on him. He was perfectly fine by then.

I don't know what it was that made him so cold. I was wet and everything but I wasn't cold at all. It just must have been a freak thing. While he was warming up in the barn I looked over his two cuts from the barrel incident. They were healing nicely. The one above the coronary band was scabbed over, and the one below his hock was closing nicely. I rinsed both of them with cold water and gave them a dab of antibiotic ointment and called it good. It was the green light I needed to continue to work him this week. No swelling anywhere, everything looked good.

But it's raining and yucky again today and with that my motivation lacks a lot. I'm in the office most of the day which is draining in itself, I'd much rather be running around to schools and things, it makes the time go by faster.

As for the date on Friday it went really well. Dinner was OK, I didn't know many of the people but I hung in there and did well. Then we went bowling and that was when the fun started. They had a band there and it was like disco bowling. Everyone loosened up and I kicked ass bowling hahaha. I'm not that good at disc golf, but I can bowl so I felt like I redeemed myself a little. Nick and I had a blast and I was able to sneak in quick hugs and pecks. I really like being with him. I ended up crashing at his place that night at 3am, we were both exhausted.

The next day he and I and his friend and GF went disc golfing. It was a course I havn't been to and it was a blast. The other girl got tired after 18 holes and wanted to leave. Both Nick and I were up for doing another round, but since we all came in the same car we reluctantly left. I do believe that Nick is going to make an appearance at the show this Saturday. That really says a lot to me. The show is over 2 hrs away and as we all know they can be kinda boring if your not a horse person. I clearly gave him an out because he doesn't need to prove anything to me. I'm going to be busy and a little stressed and he totally understands and wants to come support me. Man I like this kid! So things are going well with us. We're definately exclusive and in terms of anything mroe serious, it's a possibility, we'll see.

Alright, back to work. Just wanted to give you guys an update in this rainy weather. I'm praying for blue skies on Saturday, and Friday for that matter. Oh and also Sunday we are having our summer barn party which is also goign to be a blast. SO it's a horse filled weekend coming up!!!!

Feel Like a Bad Horse Mom Today

So last night I went to the barn with my roomie to ride our ponies and get down to some serious training before the big show next weekend. Possum warmed up really well ad we started jumping some small lines which was pretty good. Our outdoor arena is not exactly level. Possum does really well jumping the uphill side of the arena but not so hot on the downhill. Because he is downhill himself and heavy on the forehand I have to work twice as hard to not only fight him, but gravity as well. After a few reprimands abd halting in between lines he started to get the idea and sit back on his hocks and hold himself and not rush the lines. I was pretty happy about that. I was also working really hard on my own equitation which can be hard if you have a horse leaning on your hands and blowing through half halts. I did the best I could and really got a good core workout.

So onto the bad part. I was finishing up my jumping when one of the people in the arena decided to put the barrels so that they were standing straight instead of on their side. This is usually not an issue for us as we have jumped upright barrels hundreds of times. My first mistake was not examining the way they were set up. My second mistsake was not taking into account that we had just jumped quite a bit in some humid weather, and the third was my ability to focus and get us to a good spot. I jumped the first jump in the line and he was actually kinda slow on the landing. It was supposed to be a 5 stride line to the barrels and just before 5 I realized that I didn't have a spot and Possum realized it also. I put myself on autopilot (unconciously) and Possum went to duck out to the left since I was dumb and couldn't get us to a good spot. What neither he or I realized until the last minute was that the barrels were so close to another jump in another line that there was no way out to the left. It was one of those "O' Shit" moments. Since Possum was twisted to the left with no where to go he came straight up and over the barrels with his right hind coming right down on the barrel. The barel gave way and knocked over making it even harder for him to get his footing. His front feet landed and his torse was twisted and he couldn't get his hind leg free. By this time I was just trying to sit in the middle of his back and braced myself against his neck so as not to set him even more off balance. I almost came off myself. Just when I thought he was going down for good he got his leg free and cantered and then trotted away from the mess. It was at this time that I felt a noticeable limp and immediately hopped off and went to inspect. This whole thing happened in about 3 seconds but there was a lot of thought process. My first reaction was that he broke his leg. After walking him around for a few steps he was fine. I stopped him and inspected all of his legs. He had a minor cut on his right hind bwlow the hock and a little scrape above his coronary band. I felt terrible, I kept telling him sorry over and over. We walked out for a good 15 minutes at which time he was perfectly sound. I think he limped more after the jump because his leg stung than he was actually hurt. Thank God!! I treated the cuts and rubbed liniment on all of his legs and gave him handfulls of treats. I really felt like an ass. Because we were jumping an obstacle that is fairly solid I really needed to make sure that the jump had an out on both sides and that I was there to help my horse. I totally let him down and put him in a potentially dangerous situation. SO needless to say I'm not riding today and giving his cut a chance to crust over and treat it again if it needs it. I can't say enough on how I let Possum down and feel like such an idiot. He totally trusted me and I came up short, not cool.

Obviously there is a lot to learn from this and I'm just really glad that no one was hurt. I wish it would have been me that got cut up then him, I can handle my own injuries especially when I deserve them.

So tonight Nick and I are going out with a few other couples to dinner and bowling. It should be interesting since I basically only know Nick and one other person going. But I'm going to keep an open mind and try and have fun. Besides bowling is one of my games hehehe. Saturday I'll be back at the barn and hopefully ready to ride my Possum. I also found out that Nick is going to the show next Saturdayw hich is cool but perhaps a little boring and a very long day for him. But I'm glad that hes coming and wants to see me and support Possum and I. He's such a great guy I can't say enough good about him. Well I'm off to another school, talk later.

Catching Up

Happy Hump day everyone. It's Wednesday and I'm excited for the upcoming weekend. The only thing that sucks is that it's been raining here for a few days and it looks like it's gonna keep raining until atleast Friday. I opted not to ride this afternoon. Instead Nick and I went to play Disc Golf. It was kinda fun even though it was drizzling. SO I'm back at his place checking up on the blog while he's playing soccer on PS3, He's just so darn cute! I just can't get over how well we get along and can just joke and relax, it's never strained or weird.

Possum is doing well, he's working away at a round bale in his paddock so he totally happy right now. My plan for the weekend is to get two good training rides in over a full course of 3ft. We have been doing really with the tighter equtation courses, it's the more hunter type course that needs work. He tends to rush down the lines some and rush sungle fences that take forever to get to. I can't say that I blame him too much, I'd want to get to them sooner too.

Well that's about all I can think of for now. Have a great Wednesday and hopefully I'll have some time to check in tomorrow night.

Things are going well

Well it's been a few days since I've checked in on the blog. I've been busy at the barn riding and with the Nick stuff. Leah Fry asked in the comments of my last post of when my next show is, I think I've mentioned it, but since it's coming up really soon I will talk about it again. My next show is a big hunter show on June 20th, Fathers Day weekend. It's almost 3 three hrs away from the barn so it's kind of a haul. It's a double judged show and I will be showing in the adult equitation and amateur adult hunter divisions 2'9"-3ft. No warm-up over anything small, just diving right in to the 3ft world. Because it's double judged and at a large show it's quite expensive. The whole day with 6 classes I'm entering and trailering it's gonna cost me about $300. But on the other hand it should be really cool. The ring is under cover with bleacher seating so there should also be a lot of spectators. It's also the show's 30th year so there are special prizes and ribbons and gift bags for everyone when they check in in the morning. I'm just a little nervous about doing well. SO lately I've been riding almost everyday at the barn. Shooling some days and then mixing it up with trail rides which Possum loves. We're been making steady process, it just depends on if it sticks when we get into the show ring. Mostly we're working on not rushing lines, everything else is really quite good. My position always needs attention, but I'm working on it and my leg is finally becoming stronger and doesn't move at all no matter what spot I get. Sitting up and tall with boobs up and ass out hahaha. So that's what I've been working on lately.

The other night I was really tired and had been puttering around the house all day but decided to go to the barn and ride Possum. I had plans of only riding to the pond and back which is less then an hr. I got to the pond and then decided to explore a road which turned into another and then another. Pretty soon I was totally lost and confused and didn't even know which end was up. SO I just went with it. I asked a few people for directions and ended up allmost 3 towns from the barn hahaha. It was steadily getting dark and threatening to rain. For a while I gave Possum's back a break and got off and walked and jogged with him so that I could ge some exercise too. My horse is so good. He walks right with me without me holding onto him, and when I start jogging he trots. He's too cool. We finally made it back to the barn three hours later. I was dumb and didn't even bring my phone with me since I didn't think I was going anywhere special. The barn owner was a little concerned, but she knows me and said that she wouldn't start to get worried unil it got completely dark. So I gave Possum a little extra grain in his dinner and gave him an extra rub down and turned him out to a new round bale in his paddock, he was in heaven.

Onto the Nick saga. Things are going great! We didn't see each other and had minimal contact for 4 days. It sucked and I missed him a whole lot and I didn't laugh nearly as much in those 4 days as I normally would with him. We started hanging out again this past weekend and it was great. He expressed to me how much he likes me and how we have so much fun together. He was basically begging me to see him, and it didn't take much for me to give in hahaha. He came to the barn last night and we went on a trail ride. He galloped Possum and was on cloud nine. He was grinning ear to ear and said that that was so cool. Possum took good care of him and I doubt he was all out, but it was safe and that's all I care about. After we got back and took care of the horses he was all huggey and kissey and asked me to come to his house for dinner. I'm not gonna lie, I love the attention and it feels really good to be wanted. I'm trying very hard not to fall to hard too fast and keep my wits about me, but really we have nothing but a good time together. It's a great situation actually. I have my own horse life and horse friends and eh has a ton of friends in his life so it's OK that we do our own things and then sometimes we get to do our own things with each other. He likes and barn and loves my horse, and I really like hanging out with his friends and their really cool.

So that's about it. Working, horses and hanging with Nick and I'm totally content right now. I'm going to enjoy the moment and have fun with every day that comes. I have a big exciting show coming up and a great support system in my friends and Nick. It's great. Nick even asked me to go out to a pretty fancy restaurant tomorrow night. Kinda sounds like a real date to me, totally cool! Well have a great day. It's raining here but I'm home doing work on the computer (minus this blog post) and I'm in a great mood so who cares. Plus Possum definately deserves a day off today since he's been ridden like 6 days in a row.

Odd Dreams and Such...

So last night after work I packed up the dogs and we headed to the barn. Abby had not shit in the kitchen which I was happy about, but I still kept a close eye on her as I was changing. When we got to the barn I got Possum out and gave him a thorough grooming until his coat felt like silk. I love that he has completely shed out and his nice summer coat is here. I visited with my friend and the barn owner and we got caught up telling stories and laughing while Possum caught a nap in the crossties. We had fun and my stomach hurt from laughing so much. Eventually I put a bridle on Possum and just rode him around bareback in the outdoor for about 20 minutes. We did walk, trot, canter and cantered over some small fences, mainly for my benefit than his. I wanted to get a good leg workout even if I wasn't riding seriously. After; I put Possum away and fed him his grain and loaded up the dogs and went home. I had half of a Subway sandwich left over from lunch so I scarfed that down while watching the movie Airplane 1975 starring Charlton Heston. I've seen this movie before but I couldn't really remember it so I kept it on. Abby has not had any accidents so far, yea!

After the movie my roomate had a friend come over and I took that as my cue to got to bed. I watched about an hr or so of more TV and then went to sleep. I had the weirdest dream and it basically sent me into an anxiety attack. I was at a big show and the whole barn was there. I was getting ready to warm-up and I realized that I had forgotten my helmet. I was freaking out. I couldn't borrow anyone's because we were all riding at the same time. I had 10 minutes until the start of my class and I wasn't ready. Plus in this dream there was a huge walk from the place where the horses were kept to the arena. I remember going through people's tack trunks trying to find a helmet and the only one I could find was a derby which was not safety approved. I woke up in a full body sweat, and then I smelled it....shit. I turned on the light and sure enough there were two circles of diarrhea on my floor. I was not happy. Why can't dogs when they have diarrhea just atleast sit still while they poop no Abby has to basically spin circles spreading it everywhere! I put on my shoes and went to get the trash can and some paper towels. After scraping it all up I got a bucket of soap and water and a sponge and scrubbed the floors, this did little to the stains. But this time it was 3:30am. I decided to shoot Nick a text just saying something funny. Note to self: friends don't let friends text tired. He actually answered and said that he had fallen asleep on the couch and was just going into his bed when I texted him. So we chatted for a few and I finally fell back to sleep after 4am and had to get up at 6am. I had Abby come onto the bed because I thought I could tell if she got down and prevent any more accidents on the floor. When the alarm went off I sat up and sure enough more shit on the floor. I was pissed because I only have a certain amount of time to get ready in the morning and this was going to royally mess up my schedule. I booted Abby outside and began the clean-up process all over again, took a shower, got dressed, let the other 2 dogs out, packed up my work things and locked them all in the kitchen and drove the hr to my first school of the day.

Despite having a rough morning I am suprisingly in a pretty chipper mood today. I still miss my Nick, but it's Friday and I have the weekend to look forward to. After work this afternoon I'm rolling up my sleeves and washing the floors again. Hopefully this will only take an hr or so and then I can head to the barn and chill out there and ride Possum. We need to get back down to business and have serious rides this weekend. We will working on pace again and my equitation. Lines and roll backs and broken lines and precise transitions. Crossing my fingers and hoping for the best.

When making the right decision still feels crappy...

Ok, I'm gonna sabotage this post fo a little bit to talk about guy stuff. I know this is not unuaual for me, but I need to get this off my chest. Nothing really bad has happened at all, just need to vent. SO Nick and I have been hanging out a lot lately. We get along great and have so much fun and really seem to click. It has gotten to the point that we act like we're dating when in actuality we are not. The other night I wanted to talk to him about this. I told him how much I liked him and that I am really starting to like him and do not want to put myself in a situation to be hurt again. He was really good about it and said that he did not want to hurt me and he was just kinda confused. I said that was fine, but my feelings are becoming clear and strong and I need to do something about it. It was a very civil and adult conversation and we were both definately speaking from the heart. It was hard for me but I made the decision to back off some. To not hang out for a while and not talk as much because it was just getting too hard for me. This is a decision that sucks for me, but I figured it could possibly save me some heart ache worse in the future. He was kinda sad and said that he didn't want me to do that, but he understood what I had to do for myself. He said that he really liked me as well and I was great and things with us are great but he just wasn't sure about anything serious. I was grateful for his honesty and understood where he was coming from. But I countered with the fact that this right now is not where I want to be. I said I wasn't putting any pressure on him or anything, but that I need to do this for myself. I don't want to be someone's Fuck buddy and I also don't want to be in a one sided relationship (pat on the back for me). It pretty much sucked for the both of us.

Yesterday I called his good friend and talked to him about it because as you all know I need to talk about it to process it. He told me to stick to my guns and that Nick may need a little kick in the ass to miss me and appreciate me. He was really supportive and said that whetever happened Nick cared very much about being good friends. Nick even said the other night that I was his best female friend and almost cried when I told him that I needed to disappear for a while. It really pulled at my heart strings. I'm not gonna lie, I was a little down last night and today I'm a little sad. I know I did the right thing in sticking up fo myself, but I can't help but feel that I deserve someone that is head over heels for me and wants to be with me no matter what. I know I've seen way too many Cinderella and Romeo and Julet based movies lately. I love the kid to pieces and who knows if it would even work out, but I'm not even really getting the chance to know.

I'm really OK with it, I just miss him is all. I miss the late night talks into the morning. The nights of sitting on the couch talking non-stop with the TV on basically for background light. I miss his hugs and the way he holds my face in his hands. And I miss the way that I'll try and sneak a look at him and find that he's already looking at me. I know I'm being overly dramatic, but if I don't get it out here it stays in my head bouncing back and forth. So for right now I'm focusing on work, going to the barn and hanging out with other friends.

As for the horse front, Possum is doing splendidly. Monday we had a really good training ride in the arena. We worked on him being slow and carrying himself. I was also trying to work on myself. Sitting up tall and straight. Contact with calf and thigh and a lowered heel. Hands up and even with my eyes trained straight ahead. It went fairly decent. Tuesday I did the same and he was even bette and we put some of the jumps up and he stayed pretty quiet for the most part, we even got some compliments so that gives me a little hope for our chances at the show in a few weeks. Last night we went for a trail ride alone. Because I was kinda feeling down it was perfect. The temp was perfect and we just rode along for over an hr. Possum got a chance to gallop and it was great. I crouched low to his neck and centered over his back and he let it fly. There si still nothign like the feeling of full out galloping. It's been a good week at the barn so far. Tonight I was tossing around the idea of riding Aragon, but I'm not really sure if I have the mental capacity of if I want to maybe bomb around on Possum for aneasy ride since we'll have some good work-outs this weekend. Still deciding on that one.

At lunch today I went and laid out on the roof to get some sun for about an hr, that always makes me feel better. I woke up this morning to diarrhea all over my floor in the bedroom. Abby had apparantly been sick all night and was still sick this morning and early afternoon so I've been cleaning up shit for most of the day. She and the other two are shut into the kitchen where lineoleum is much easier to clean up then carpet.. She's drinking just fine so I'm not worried about dehydration yet. I hope she just had an upset stomach and is on the mend now..

Well that's about it. Things are otherwise great. I just miss my Nick and I know he's missing me too. He needs time to actually think about what he wants. Because he is so laid back and go with the flow he does little self thinking so this may be new territory for him. Keep your fingers crossed, we'll see.................