Monday Musings

Wow, what a weekend I've had. It was a busy one for sure, but I still can't help but feel very alone. I know that this will subside in time, but I'm just waiting for it to stop consuming my thoughts. Ok, moving on...

Friday night I had a great time. My roomie suprised me with dinner with my friends and then we went to the Old Port in Portland (Maine) and went to the clubs dancing and having a good time. There were 5 of us in total and we all had such a great time. We looked after each other and danced togther and all laughed. It was a great. We didn't get home till like 2am or something but I was still buzzing to I stayed up and chilled on the porch until I felt sleepy. I also got my hair cut Friday afternoon which desperately needed it and styled it with some curls for going out. This is a crappy camrea phone pic, but I was ready to hit the town in style hehehe.

Saturday I woke up bright and early (10am) and got ready and went to the barn with the dogs. It was a picture perfect day, a breeze, warm but totally dry air. I got Possum out and cleaned him up and tacked him and brought him to the arena. In some stroke of luck we were the only ones in the arena, score! I worked a long time on the flat still taking special care of that funkyness in his left hind. I could feel that he was getting stronger on it, but he still needed help from me to keep his lead in one corner, but otherwise he felt great. We then started jumping small courses after warming up and he was doing really well. Nothing was over 2'6" but he was taking his time for the most part and we were getting the right distances and striding. I was really happy with that and let him end. I took a long time walking him out to make sure to totally cool out that hind. I let him loose to eat grass while I just hung out. Then I took the dogs and went to my parents house to go to a local fire department for a chicken bbq. The chicken was awesome, the corn was sweet and ripe and the home made desserts were great. My parents and I sat on the picnic table outside near a pond and it was perfect and peaceful. You could see them flipping the chickens, hear the murmor of people talking and just the normal day to day activities.

It's times like these that I wish I had someone to share these moments with. Someone to just share a look with or hold their hand or even a small nudge from under the table. I'm such a sap, but it just sucks. When we got back to my parents house they gave me my present of toilitries, scratch tickets and $60. I was thrilled, I always can use shampoo, soap, contact solution, face lotion, conditioner and new razors! The dogs and I then all packed back in the car and drove home. I was pretty tired still from the night before and actually went to bed at 9P.

Sunday I got up at 5:30am to go watch a show that my barn was attending. They picked me up along the way and I took my small dog Jetta with me. It was 2 hrs away but the chatting in the truck makes it go by faster. It felt weird to be at a show and not showing, I should be used to that since I havn't been showing nearly as much this year, but it still kinda feels funny. Jetta and I set up the chairs along the ring and got to watch all the action all day. I worked on my tan while watching everyone else jump and flat around. I can't wait for the Medals in September, It's going to such a fun 2 day show. The weather was perfect for a horse show. Warm, but with a little breeze and the air was dry. The show didn't get over till about 5:30P and we still had to drive the 2 hrs home. We stopped for some quick food on the way home since we were all starving and told funny stories the whole way back. It felt good to laugh even if some of the jokes were at my expense, I should be used to that by now. The truck dropped Jetta and I off at the end of our road and we walked the short distance home. My roomie was gone to the house was quiet. I let the other 2 dogs out and we hung outside for a while. The cool air felt good on my crispy shoulders. I then went inside and played my Eli Mattson CD and put ina load of laundry. My roomie came home shortly after. I took a quick shower and went to bed fairly early.

I was plagued with bad dreams all night. I had a dream that Possum threw all of his shoes and took most of his hoof with it and I was running around trying to find a farrier to help. That was horrible. I had a dream that Nick was still in High School and I had just graduated and I was trying desperately to have him want to hang out with me by meeting him and dropping him off at school. It was so messed up that I woke up before my alarm and decided to stay up to make sure I didn't slip back into that dream. This day is just kinda blah for me. I'm feeling lonely. I'm trying really hard to be positive and look at all the great things I have going on, because I do. But sometimes you can't help that lump in your throat and the stinging in your eyes. I have softball practice tonight, but we also have visiting hrs at the funeral home so they might have to go with me annd hang in the car in the shade while I play. I hav't really figured that out yet. Well we have staff day here at work so that should be fun. Playing games and hanging out with co-workers all day with no work, how can I complain about that!