Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Motivationally Speaking..

Just one of those days that your just trying to make it through. I didn't end up going to the barn last night. I was stressed about "G" and I did some cleaning in the apartment. I scrubbed the bathroom up and down and vacuumed my entire room, even getting into all those nooks and crannies. I took the dogs for a good long walk on leashes. They hate leashes. When we're at "G's" or the barn they just run loose, but now in town they have to be leashed. Not everyone appreciates dog running up to them or running through their yard.

Things with "G" are smoothing out. He's just ultra stressed and actually realized on his own that he was taking it out on me. He texted me this morning and just asked for some space right now because he has a lot to do and is feeling crunched by everything in life. A pretty mature statement for him to make. He said he loved me and to have a good day. Now a stetement like that I can understand. But when he says shit like I don't want to be with you anymore, or this was a mistake, those are things that I just don't like. But statements like I need some time and space to get my life clear I'm completely fine with. SO onto bigger and better things.

Have a long day at work, but have counseling to look forward to tonight. Then I plan on taking the dogs to the barn and riding Possum. Don't really know what we're going to work on, but probably some serious ring work since we havn't been really serious in a while. I've just missed him the past few days so it'll be nice to spend some time with him and hopefully the barn isn't too busy so we can have the ring to ourselves.

It always makes me feel good as I drive up the driveway and call out to him. He pricks his ears and looks in my direction. Then when I come to the gate he always walks over to me. Even if I go into the paddock he'll follow me everywhere. I like that feeling that he wants to be close to me and visit. I had a really bad dream last night that he had turned back into "mean Possum" from when I first met him. He was acting all agressive and rearing up and trying to trample me. I dreampt that he ripped the skin off my arm and was back to being unmanageable. I woke up in a cold sweat. Boy I'm glad he's not like that anymore. SOmetimes I forget and take for granted how he used to be as opposed to how he is now. He's come a long way. I really think that he is happy now and is able to be a horse and not have to worry when his next meal is coming or who is going to hit him before he can get them first. It's amazing how people can turn animals agressive and scared and how they can make a turn around and begin to trust again. Can people be that resiliant?

I'm looking forward to a short work wee. I am taking Thursday and Friday off because Thusday is my birthday and I need a little break from work. Weather doesn't sound the greatest, but it'll be nice to sleep in and and do whatever I want for a few days. I also have a fun little game show this Saturday at a fair grounds. It's gymkhana. Something that we don't do often. But both Possum and I can get pretty competitive. I'm really looking forward to just riding in casual attire and letting off some steam with others from the barn. The classes are super cheap and it's pretty close to the barn so trailring won't be too bad. Maybe I can get someone to take some pics, I'm sure they'll be pretty funny. Well have a good everyone. Give your horses a hug and kiss and tell them you love them. See you tomorrow.

1 comment:

Stephanie said...

I have bad dreams with my horses too. Sometimes the night before a show starts I will have a bad dream that make me wake up yelling in my horse trailer. I will feel all confined and trapped so I throw on some sweats and go hang out with my ponies for a bit till I calm down cool off and can go back to sleep.

Sounds stupid of me but one time when I was at a show by myself I watched "The Ghost and Darkness" before I went to bed and had a horrible dream a mountain lion was trying to get me and the horses...

When i woke up I wanted to get out of the trailer - but was too chicken too! Last time I ever watched a scary movie by myself.

Bet ya a hundred bucks that one of yours was from your stress from G - maybe you were worried he'd turn back into the old G?