Had a great weekend if I do say so myself. I got tons of riding in. I rode Possum a lot and also rode Aragon twice this weekend. Yesterday I just rode Aragon and we hit the trails, real trails and not just dirt roads. We had mud and water and trees and brush and he did great with everything. He stepped in every puddle I asked him to, actually took a drink from them too. Went through all the mud and behaved himself quite well. He was rarin to go so after a few canters I let him pick the speed. He immediately shot forward and started eating up the ground. It's great to think that he enjoys galloping now when before he would suck right back and refuse to go faster than a little bunny hop canter. We had a great ride, just the two of us.
He's a getting a lot fitter too and putting on some muscle. Aragon is such a hard keeper. he can have a big ole hay belly but still be showing a little rib. He's just a slender boy who cribs like it's going out of style and isn't always interested in eating. I have noticed though that since I've been riding him regularly he has a better appetite which is good. His coat is absolutely gleaming and he has completely shed out unlike most of the other horses at the farm. I'll say it again, that I absolutely love plain bays, my favorite color.
I also made a new friend this weekend. Yes he is a boy, but he is really cool and is just what I need right now. He's outgoing, fun and man can he talk. I have totally met my match in talking. We talk for hours. I went to his apartment Saturday night to hang out and we ended up talking for almost 6 hrs straight. Barely had a pee break and we were back in conversation. As many of you are probably wondering, this is not a match for me. Our lifestyles are just too different. I mean who really knows, but I just don't see anything coming from this except a good friendship. The other thing I really like about him is he is totally honest, almost brutally honest which I like. He's super cool and is a good distraction from Greg and all his shit right now. Maybe someday he'll grow up, but it's not my problem and never really was. All I know is that he's totally missing out on a great and funny and smart and half-way decent looking girl. (sticking my tongue out now). After work tonight my roomie and I are getting on the motorcycle and riding around. We have to make a trip to the barn to put rain sheets on the ponies because their calling for rain tomorrow and cooler temps, and then we're just cruisin.
Things are looking up slightly which is good, I need to catch a break every now and again. Oh and I almost forgot to add that this new friend of mine thinks that horses are really cool. He has a sister that used to ride and he has hung out at the barn a lot. He already came out twice this weekend to chill and even rode Possum under my instruction for half an hr and did really well. He's getting the posting and steering down and has a real desire to learn which is cool, our sport can always use males that are into riding. Think I may have found a good friend on this deal and I'm happy, oh and he's pretty hot too which doesn't hurt things hehehe. Have a great day everyone amd love your ponies. I'll have another post either tonight or tomorrow.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Saturday, May 2, 2009
The beginning of the weekend
Just wanted to give everyone a quick update before I'm totally lost this weekend in the sunshine and warm temps and at the barn. I AM OFFICIALLY CLOSING THE CHAPTER ON GREG. Yes you heard it here. we talked a little yesterday and he is pretty much into this girl, yes they hang out and that means they probably do other things as well. He's a great guy with a lot of great qualities and he is probably playing with fire on this one, but I'm not his mother and I need to do my own thing. He'll find out one way or another. Also the guy that my roomieand I had a double "date" with turned out to be really weird. I was not attracted to him whatsoever. I felt bad because he was very nice and stuff, but nothing was there. I told him before we even hung out that I was not looking for anything serious, just friends. Well he took it badly. He freaked when I didn't call him every hour and started to say some nasty and mean things to me. Something that maybe a teeneger would do, not a 31 yo man!!! So that is all done and I'm kinda relieved.
Thursday night my roomie and I had a friend over. He is a very nice guy, but not bf material for me, we just have too different of lifestyles. He is very fun to hang out with and loosens me up and calls me out on being too anxious, I love it. We talked to about 4 in the am and it was great. Definately made a new good friend on this deal. Doesn't help that he is very cute too (slap my face, wake up girl no day dreaming) I mean looks have nothing to do with anything hehehe.
Last night rode Possum with a barn kid on a ten mile or so trail ride. Had a ton of fun and got to jump some jumps on a trail too. Possum was raring to go which shows me that our conditioning and riding has really gotten him back in shape which is awesome. He also had his shots done the other day so he is officially ready to do anything he or I want. Gonna go hang at the barn all day today as well and ride atleast Aragon and Possum and maybe get some sun. My friend from the other night, Nick also stopped by. He has an innate interest in horses which is totally cool. His sister used to ride at a barn so he used to ride some as well. He has a great eye and I think the potential to be a good rider if he put his mind to it. It would be great to recruit a new boy to riding. And he wants to ride english!!!! He says that he's secure in his sexuality and also finds english more confortable especially when you want to jump. He is too funny.
Well that's about it. Gonna make the best of the weekend. I have lost 15 lbs so far. I'm to the point that I am rarely hungry now. I'm only eating when my body needs it and nothing more. Lots of water and also sports drinks with electrolytes so I stay hydrated. So as I said before, I am done calling and texting Greg. This is his decision and I need to get out of the rut and get him out of my mind. Sure I'm hurt and I even ased him on the phone yesterday what happened with us because we seemed to be both into each other and he said thathe really didn't have an answer and would have to think about it. I'm thinking "bullshit" in my mind but I let it go at that. I'm trying to move forward and onward. As I told my counselor the other day I want this to be "The Summer of Molly". All about me and what I want to do and not wasting space in my mind thinking about stupid boys. On that note, I'm hittin the shower and going to the barn for the day. Enjoy!
Thursday night my roomie and I had a friend over. He is a very nice guy, but not bf material for me, we just have too different of lifestyles. He is very fun to hang out with and loosens me up and calls me out on being too anxious, I love it. We talked to about 4 in the am and it was great. Definately made a new good friend on this deal. Doesn't help that he is very cute too (slap my face, wake up girl no day dreaming) I mean looks have nothing to do with anything hehehe.
Last night rode Possum with a barn kid on a ten mile or so trail ride. Had a ton of fun and got to jump some jumps on a trail too. Possum was raring to go which shows me that our conditioning and riding has really gotten him back in shape which is awesome. He also had his shots done the other day so he is officially ready to do anything he or I want. Gonna go hang at the barn all day today as well and ride atleast Aragon and Possum and maybe get some sun. My friend from the other night, Nick also stopped by. He has an innate interest in horses which is totally cool. His sister used to ride at a barn so he used to ride some as well. He has a great eye and I think the potential to be a good rider if he put his mind to it. It would be great to recruit a new boy to riding. And he wants to ride english!!!! He says that he's secure in his sexuality and also finds english more confortable especially when you want to jump. He is too funny.
Well that's about it. Gonna make the best of the weekend. I have lost 15 lbs so far. I'm to the point that I am rarely hungry now. I'm only eating when my body needs it and nothing more. Lots of water and also sports drinks with electrolytes so I stay hydrated. So as I said before, I am done calling and texting Greg. This is his decision and I need to get out of the rut and get him out of my mind. Sure I'm hurt and I even ased him on the phone yesterday what happened with us because we seemed to be both into each other and he said thathe really didn't have an answer and would have to think about it. I'm thinking "bullshit" in my mind but I let it go at that. I'm trying to move forward and onward. As I told my counselor the other day I want this to be "The Summer of Molly". All about me and what I want to do and not wasting space in my mind thinking about stupid boys. On that note, I'm hittin the shower and going to the barn for the day. Enjoy!
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Thursday morning musings
Hello Everyone. The weather here is Maine has just been wonderful lately. It was actually 90 degrees here Tuesday and now it is in the comfortable 70's. I had a chance to lay out on the roof Tuesday and get a good tan going. I havn't said anything on the blog yet, but I am on a diet. I have cut my food intake in half only eating 1,000 calories a day and am losing weight at a pretty good clip. In just over 2 weeks I have lost 12lbs and I am so happy about it. I already feel better and every time I see the scale go down it gives me hope that I can get back to the weight I was last summer, but doing so in a healthy way. I also have started going back to my counselor to work on some more things that are going on with me. Basically my relationship stuff and learning on getting over the past and living in the present. It's been good so far and we are going to meet every other week for a while. I figured that it was time to get my head straight and work on getting over this relationship crap.
On the horse side of things, unfortunately I have been busy with work and stuff this week, and I have another presentation tonight so I won't be able to ride until tomorrow night, but I also have the whole weekend to hang at the barn. So Possum gets a few days off, I don't think he'll mind.
Onto the Greg thing. Right after I posted Tuesday we actually ended up talking a little. First on text and then he called me. It started when he was here at the funeral home getting ready for visiting hrs and I asked if he could help me get the AC down from the 3rd floor. He did so but in a totally neutral way, minimal eye contact and no small talk. SO we started texting some and talking about what has happened to us. To make it short he said that he and this other chick have hung out a few times, nothing serious and they have not had sex. I felt like he was being honest with me and I have to believe him. He said that tings with us were just getting out of hand with talking all the time and it was overwhelming him. I told him that I understood how he felt. He said that we are still friends and that he's basically doing his own thing right now. I told him I am doing the same. So it ended on a pretty good note. He asked what I was doing later and said that he would call to talk more. I told him not to worry about it, that I know where he is coming from now and we are on the same page. I wanted to show him that I'm not going to jump at every chance of communication. We texted a couple of times yesterday, just on odd stuff and that is it.
Last night my roomate and I had a kinda double date. I don't like using the D word, so I prefer to call it hanging out. I had talked to this guy a few times on the phone and he is very very nice, but there is just no connection there for me. I feel bad and don't want to hurt his feelings. He knows how I feel about getting in a relationship now anyways and that I'm just looking for friends. I was glad to get home last night. It just made me realize how much I liked Greg and how well we got along and how comfortable I felt with him. I need to give myself time to get over those feelings and some time apart from him (not that we're hanging out or anything). So I'm just doing my own thing right now. Hanging with my animals and enjoying the nice weather. Working on just being happy in general. It's kinda hard but I feel a little more at peace as odd as that sounds. I'm happy about losing weight, I'm happy with the weather and I'm happy hanging out with horse friends. That's all I really need right now.
Have a great day everyone. As always please feel free to leave a comment. I love all the constructive criticism I can get. I read them all and take them to heart. Well I'm off to work on my presentation. Looking forward to the weekend ahead. Below are some pics from a ride with Possum Monday night on the trail. We were in a field and it was so peaceful and quiet.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Weekend Recap
Sorry it's been so long posting, been really really busy lately with the show and riding and work. Last weekend was really good, very hot up here with highs in the 80's on Saturday, but it's still better then below zero temps. Had a good ride on Possum, only rode for about 30 minutes and we ended on a good note. Then the work of ge\tting ready for the show began. Bathing, clipping, trimming, cleaning, oiling, braiding etc... With help from the barn owner we were able to get creative with yarn and braid Possum's pathetic mane and forelock. It actually looked really decent and he looked like a big boy. Didn't get home until after 9P and took a shower and packed show clothes and finally was in bed around 11 and had to get up the next morning at 4:30a. I actually sprang out of bed and got ready and let the dogs out since they would be cooped up in the house all day.
My roomie and I flew over to the barn and got the horses loaded and they away we went for the nearly 2 hr drive. The show grounds were really nice. All of the people there were also nice and not stuck up like some barns we go to. Possum and I had to wait until 2p until it was our turn to ride. Because we are only doing the 2'9"-3ft this year we are not doing any lower divisions. This is our training division for the year and I am not expecting to be walking away with any championships. We did OK. We had some good moments and some OMG moments. It was good to see where we needed to work out the kinks and gave me some insight on what we need to work on. We placed usually middle of the pack, and there weren't many riders in our division. Possum was a little speedy through some of it and had a near refusal on one jump that totally suprised me. He just didn't like this one jump I guess. The courses were tricky and techincal, even the hunter ones. I was proud of the fact that I didn't forget any of my courses since I had to memorize 4 of them plus a medal test. We did end up winning our adult medal class which I'm happy with and as always did well in the flat classes. The ride home from the show was a hoot. My roomie and me and another girl went with the barn owner and we chatted and laughed so hard that my stomach muscles were hurting.
Yesterday I rode Possum on the trail. I wasn't going to ride him at all, but since he was so speedy on Sunday I decided I would take a little spring out of his step. We went about 10 miles and the trails weren't that bad through the woods. It was so beautiful and peaceful just Possum and I.
The guy side of things. Oh boy. There is this guy who is friends with my roomie's friend and he has been calling me and talking a lot lately. Haven't met him yet, we're all supposed to go and hang out and eat tomorrow night as a foursome. I have been straight with him about not wanting anything serious and letting him know all of the recent events with the "G's" and how I'm pretty bitter right now and just looking for friends. He seems OK with that. He is extremely nice and thoughtful so I'm anxious to meet him in person without the pressure of it just being the 2 of us. I am definately keeping him at ars length right now while I heal and take time for myself.
I did hear from Greg last night through text. I had called and left him a message on Saturday night because I have been hearing from several people that he has been telling others about our physical relationship. This kinda pissed me off so I wanted to call him out on it. He finally texted me last night and said that he hadn't told anyone anything. He also said why would he do that since we are friends. I laughed and asked if that's what he called it and he definately treats his friends differently then I do. I told him before he could respond that I was busy and to have a good night. I didn't want to be a total bitch. He is just so frustrating and confusing that it pisses me off. I just hope he finds what he is looking for..... And yes ladies I did erase his number from my phone but unfortunately my brain is too smart and ofcourse has the number memorized. Atleast I've been strong and not showing him any emotion and how hurt I am through all of this.
Well that's about all. Just hanging in there. Working now at schools for drop-in, kinda boring. Need to clean the apartment tonight since that definately got neglected this weekend. PLus we have a bunch of funerals and visiting hrs this week so that makes things tough. Have a great day everyone
My roomie and I flew over to the barn and got the horses loaded and they away we went for the nearly 2 hr drive. The show grounds were really nice. All of the people there were also nice and not stuck up like some barns we go to. Possum and I had to wait until 2p until it was our turn to ride. Because we are only doing the 2'9"-3ft this year we are not doing any lower divisions. This is our training division for the year and I am not expecting to be walking away with any championships. We did OK. We had some good moments and some OMG moments. It was good to see where we needed to work out the kinks and gave me some insight on what we need to work on. We placed usually middle of the pack, and there weren't many riders in our division. Possum was a little speedy through some of it and had a near refusal on one jump that totally suprised me. He just didn't like this one jump I guess. The courses were tricky and techincal, even the hunter ones. I was proud of the fact that I didn't forget any of my courses since I had to memorize 4 of them plus a medal test. We did end up winning our adult medal class which I'm happy with and as always did well in the flat classes. The ride home from the show was a hoot. My roomie and me and another girl went with the barn owner and we chatted and laughed so hard that my stomach muscles were hurting.
Yesterday I rode Possum on the trail. I wasn't going to ride him at all, but since he was so speedy on Sunday I decided I would take a little spring out of his step. We went about 10 miles and the trails weren't that bad through the woods. It was so beautiful and peaceful just Possum and I.
The guy side of things. Oh boy. There is this guy who is friends with my roomie's friend and he has been calling me and talking a lot lately. Haven't met him yet, we're all supposed to go and hang out and eat tomorrow night as a foursome. I have been straight with him about not wanting anything serious and letting him know all of the recent events with the "G's" and how I'm pretty bitter right now and just looking for friends. He seems OK with that. He is extremely nice and thoughtful so I'm anxious to meet him in person without the pressure of it just being the 2 of us. I am definately keeping him at ars length right now while I heal and take time for myself.
I did hear from Greg last night through text. I had called and left him a message on Saturday night because I have been hearing from several people that he has been telling others about our physical relationship. This kinda pissed me off so I wanted to call him out on it. He finally texted me last night and said that he hadn't told anyone anything. He also said why would he do that since we are friends. I laughed and asked if that's what he called it and he definately treats his friends differently then I do. I told him before he could respond that I was busy and to have a good night. I didn't want to be a total bitch. He is just so frustrating and confusing that it pisses me off. I just hope he finds what he is looking for..... And yes ladies I did erase his number from my phone but unfortunately my brain is too smart and ofcourse has the number memorized. Atleast I've been strong and not showing him any emotion and how hurt I am through all of this.
Well that's about all. Just hanging in there. Working now at schools for drop-in, kinda boring. Need to clean the apartment tonight since that definately got neglected this weekend. PLus we have a bunch of funerals and visiting hrs this week so that makes things tough. Have a great day everyone
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Feeling really hurt today...
I'll try to make this short, but it's definately not sweet. As you all know things between Greg and I have still been tense and awkward and pretty much sucky. Great friendship, huh? Well last night I was informed by several different people of what is really going on. He is hanging out with another girl. But not just another girl, pretty much the town slut. She's been in trouble with the law, she drinks and parties all the time. She is younger than me and has a son that she does not have custody of. She is however pretty and very skinny. I found out that they went to Cabella's the other night just like he took me and they did the shooting game just like we did and I'm sure that they even went out to eat at the same place that we did as well. This is what stings.
I texted him that now things make sense that I know the whole picture. he wrote back "rumor-heard that whateva"
I wrote back for him not to be pissed at me. It's not a rumor, I don't know if their screwing or anything but I do know they've been hanging out and such and she's been over to his house. I said that it would have just been nice to hear it from him instead. I then went to the movies with my roomie and her family. On the drive home I couldn't resist and did ask if they were screwing, since we had made a pact to tell each other if we were messing around. No response. I asked him why he wouldn't tell me the truth and no response. I was upset by them so I said that obviously I care more about friendship and honesty then he does.
This morning I couldn't resist and just told him that it would be better hearing things from him instead of everyone else. I said that we are friends and he can talk when he wants to and later. No response. I'm just so upset. Not the fact that he is necessarily messing around, but the fact that he can't even have the decency to talk to me about it or whatever. I just thought that we were better friends than that. Guess not. So I was in a down mood this morning and decided to look up some quotes on confidence and self esteem, here is the one I posted on my facebook
People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within. ~Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
I just hope that Greg wakes up. I know that this is probably (hopefully) a phase but I'm just really hurt at how our friendship has taken a definate downward turn.
On a good note, I have a horse show this weekend. I rode last night and rode both Possum and Aragon. Things are good in the horse world.
I texted him that now things make sense that I know the whole picture. he wrote back "rumor-heard that whateva"
I wrote back for him not to be pissed at me. It's not a rumor, I don't know if their screwing or anything but I do know they've been hanging out and such and she's been over to his house. I said that it would have just been nice to hear it from him instead. I then went to the movies with my roomie and her family. On the drive home I couldn't resist and did ask if they were screwing, since we had made a pact to tell each other if we were messing around. No response. I asked him why he wouldn't tell me the truth and no response. I was upset by them so I said that obviously I care more about friendship and honesty then he does.
This morning I couldn't resist and just told him that it would be better hearing things from him instead of everyone else. I said that we are friends and he can talk when he wants to and later. No response. I'm just so upset. Not the fact that he is necessarily messing around, but the fact that he can't even have the decency to talk to me about it or whatever. I just thought that we were better friends than that. Guess not. So I was in a down mood this morning and decided to look up some quotes on confidence and self esteem, here is the one I posted on my facebook
People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within. ~Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
I just hope that Greg wakes up. I know that this is probably (hopefully) a phase but I'm just really hurt at how our friendship has taken a definate downward turn.
On a good note, I have a horse show this weekend. I rode last night and rode both Possum and Aragon. Things are good in the horse world.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Once again horses save the day
I had a good long weekend. I was around horses all weekend and that always makes me feel better. Friday I spent most of the afternoon at the barn. I got Aragon all ready and spent extra time grooming him and went to get on him and once we started trotting he felt off. Sure enough he was off behind. There was no swelling or heat or anything. He likes to lay down a lot so I figured he bumped himself or laid on it wrong. So I untacked him and brought him back to his stall, bummer.
Saturday I helped my roomate with her police training. They had active shooter training at a local elementary school and I got to be a bad guy with simunition guns and everything. Their kinda like paintball guns and when you get hit, it hurts. I only got hit a couple of times throughout the day, it was actually a lot of fun. After the training we were going to go get some lunch, my roomate was on duty. She got a call about a loose horse on the outskirts of town. So I grabbed a couple of lead ropes from my car and a bag of treats and away we went. We were on the dirt road and some people flagged us down and said that the horse was a little ways up the road. They said that they had ran after it and it ran away from them. (gotta love non-horse people) We asked if it had a halter or anything on and they said it "has a harness type thingy on it's head." Sure enough about 100 yeards up the road there is this pinto pony about 14.2 eating on the side of the road. I got out of the cruiser and shook the horse treats and he came walking right up to me. His harness thingy happened to be a halter so I snapped the lead onto it and started walking him down the road. He was pretty well mannered except he kept getting his lips too close to me and I whacked him away. For some reason I decided to check. What I thought was a gelding was a little stud pony. Great, a stud pony in the willy wacks of Maine, do the owners even know he isn't gelded I wondered. He did have what looked like saddle marks on his back which I took as a good sign that atleas he is being worked. He was actually a cute pony. One blue eye, nice short back, kinds pudgy and out of shape and pretty nice legs, his feet needed to be trimmed bad but that was about his only flaw, oh and the fact that he had balls hahaha.
So we got him back to his pen. I tied him to his shelter since he had ripped the fence down and gave him some hay and moved the water over to him. Hopefully his family would be home soon. So after we ate lunch I went home and got the dogs and changed and went to the barn and rode Possum. We actually did not have a good ride at all. He was bulging terribly on the landings of the jumps towards the outside rail. It was so bad that I grabbed a crop and just as he was cresting the jump I gave him a wack on the outside shoulder to remind him to stay straight. It started to work slowly. It was one of those rides that you think to yourself, what am I getting into at the next show. But I have to keep the faith. Everyone has an off day and he really isn't used to jumping outside on uneven ground.
Sunday there was a show and I went to cheer on my barn mates. There was only 3 showing and it was nice to sit in the sun in my lounge chair and chat and watch horses go around courses. Many people think that hunter shows are boring, but I could watch them all day. I learn so much by watching others, I have to since I don't take lessons so I absorb it all in. Everyone from the barn did really well as usual and I made it home in time to change and grab the dogs and leave before we had visiting hrs. (remember I live in a funeral home so when they have stuff like that I leave with the dogs so as no to bother anyone) We went to the barn and helped unload and then my roomie and I went out to eat.
Monday, yesterday was a great barn day. It was gorgeous out (it was all weekend) and I got to the barn first thing in the morning since we had a funeral at the house and got Possum all ready and shiny and pretty and rode him for over an hour. He was much better this time out and I gave a little sigh of relief. Our first show of the season is next Sunday so we really need to be sharp and ready. After Possum, I got Aragon out and cleaned him up as well and decided to see if he was better. He was. Still seemed like he was a tiny bit heisitant so we kept it to big open areas and straight lines. We did lots of walking and trotting and only a few canters. He actually did really well and picked up the correct lead every time but once and then quickly corrected it. After working in the outdoor I decided to work on his patience on the trail with halting. If it's one thing that Aragon hates, it's stopping on the trail especially on the way home and he is no dummy, he knows what's going on. But I just stayed calm and sat deep on him like a sack of potatoes. He is very responsive to leg and seat and you barely have to use your reins. HE finally figured out how to stand in one place but still do something. He started to paw incessently. It was actually quite funny and I figured as long as his feet weren't moving over any ground I would let the pawing go for now. Being a hrose was was 8 years on the track he does a really nice job. Because of the riding and stuff his coat and starting to gleam and shine. I love a rich bay, my favorite color. SO after riding the two guys I helped out with stalls to burn some calories and then raked the landing and take-offs of the jump outside since it was starting to get tracked up. Before I knew it I had been there all day and it was great. I'm also really watching what I eat and eating the bare minimum. I did have a breakfast sandwich yesterday and an orange and for dinner at around 5 I had a roast beef sandwich with veggies on wheat, that's it for the day. Today I had a small bagel with a little cream cheese and a handful of cheez-its. Because I hate to waste I'm eating the left over Chinese that I got with my roomie Sunday night and that will be it for the day. I'm trying to move more and eat less. If I can't be happy with my love life, or non-existant love life I'd like to look and feel good physically.
As for the guy side, still pretty much nothing. I did bring the dogs over to "G's" house last night so we could see them. I went for a walk while they hung out and we talked minimally. It was really hard and I realize that I am totally not over us and the things that went down and my feelings for him. I'm having a hard time with him having a gf . So I'm just trying to do my own thing and stay busy with my hobbies and animals. It's supposed to rain for the first half of the week so riding will probably only be in the indoor which sucks. I probably won't go to the barn tonight and give Possum a day off so I'll do some sit ups and push ups in the house to work out a little.
Yesterday was Greg's birthday. I called him to say hi and he was busy with the funeral and stuff and he promised that he would call me later, I told him not to worry about it but he insisted. SO about 9:30P I called him to say hi. I don't think he even remembered he said he would call me back. It was a brief and tense conversation that ended with him saying that he is just doing his own thing for now. I thought he was doing his own thing the whole time, but maybe I'm wrong. Ughhh, this sucks. I called my cousnelor and made an appt to see her next week to help me get my head on straight. Feelings suck! I wish I could just think with my brain 100% of the time, but it doesn't work that way. Well that's it for today. I'm working in the office most of the week since it's April vacation for the school kids this week.
Saturday I helped my roomate with her police training. They had active shooter training at a local elementary school and I got to be a bad guy with simunition guns and everything. Their kinda like paintball guns and when you get hit, it hurts. I only got hit a couple of times throughout the day, it was actually a lot of fun. After the training we were going to go get some lunch, my roomate was on duty. She got a call about a loose horse on the outskirts of town. So I grabbed a couple of lead ropes from my car and a bag of treats and away we went. We were on the dirt road and some people flagged us down and said that the horse was a little ways up the road. They said that they had ran after it and it ran away from them. (gotta love non-horse people) We asked if it had a halter or anything on and they said it "has a harness type thingy on it's head." Sure enough about 100 yeards up the road there is this pinto pony about 14.2 eating on the side of the road. I got out of the cruiser and shook the horse treats and he came walking right up to me. His harness thingy happened to be a halter so I snapped the lead onto it and started walking him down the road. He was pretty well mannered except he kept getting his lips too close to me and I whacked him away. For some reason I decided to check. What I thought was a gelding was a little stud pony. Great, a stud pony in the willy wacks of Maine, do the owners even know he isn't gelded I wondered. He did have what looked like saddle marks on his back which I took as a good sign that atleas he is being worked. He was actually a cute pony. One blue eye, nice short back, kinds pudgy and out of shape and pretty nice legs, his feet needed to be trimmed bad but that was about his only flaw, oh and the fact that he had balls hahaha.
So we got him back to his pen. I tied him to his shelter since he had ripped the fence down and gave him some hay and moved the water over to him. Hopefully his family would be home soon. So after we ate lunch I went home and got the dogs and changed and went to the barn and rode Possum. We actually did not have a good ride at all. He was bulging terribly on the landings of the jumps towards the outside rail. It was so bad that I grabbed a crop and just as he was cresting the jump I gave him a wack on the outside shoulder to remind him to stay straight. It started to work slowly. It was one of those rides that you think to yourself, what am I getting into at the next show. But I have to keep the faith. Everyone has an off day and he really isn't used to jumping outside on uneven ground.
Sunday there was a show and I went to cheer on my barn mates. There was only 3 showing and it was nice to sit in the sun in my lounge chair and chat and watch horses go around courses. Many people think that hunter shows are boring, but I could watch them all day. I learn so much by watching others, I have to since I don't take lessons so I absorb it all in. Everyone from the barn did really well as usual and I made it home in time to change and grab the dogs and leave before we had visiting hrs. (remember I live in a funeral home so when they have stuff like that I leave with the dogs so as no to bother anyone) We went to the barn and helped unload and then my roomie and I went out to eat.
Monday, yesterday was a great barn day. It was gorgeous out (it was all weekend) and I got to the barn first thing in the morning since we had a funeral at the house and got Possum all ready and shiny and pretty and rode him for over an hour. He was much better this time out and I gave a little sigh of relief. Our first show of the season is next Sunday so we really need to be sharp and ready. After Possum, I got Aragon out and cleaned him up as well and decided to see if he was better. He was. Still seemed like he was a tiny bit heisitant so we kept it to big open areas and straight lines. We did lots of walking and trotting and only a few canters. He actually did really well and picked up the correct lead every time but once and then quickly corrected it. After working in the outdoor I decided to work on his patience on the trail with halting. If it's one thing that Aragon hates, it's stopping on the trail especially on the way home and he is no dummy, he knows what's going on. But I just stayed calm and sat deep on him like a sack of potatoes. He is very responsive to leg and seat and you barely have to use your reins. HE finally figured out how to stand in one place but still do something. He started to paw incessently. It was actually quite funny and I figured as long as his feet weren't moving over any ground I would let the pawing go for now. Being a hrose was was 8 years on the track he does a really nice job. Because of the riding and stuff his coat and starting to gleam and shine. I love a rich bay, my favorite color. SO after riding the two guys I helped out with stalls to burn some calories and then raked the landing and take-offs of the jump outside since it was starting to get tracked up. Before I knew it I had been there all day and it was great. I'm also really watching what I eat and eating the bare minimum. I did have a breakfast sandwich yesterday and an orange and for dinner at around 5 I had a roast beef sandwich with veggies on wheat, that's it for the day. Today I had a small bagel with a little cream cheese and a handful of cheez-its. Because I hate to waste I'm eating the left over Chinese that I got with my roomie Sunday night and that will be it for the day. I'm trying to move more and eat less. If I can't be happy with my love life, or non-existant love life I'd like to look and feel good physically.
As for the guy side, still pretty much nothing. I did bring the dogs over to "G's" house last night so we could see them. I went for a walk while they hung out and we talked minimally. It was really hard and I realize that I am totally not over us and the things that went down and my feelings for him. I'm having a hard time with him having a gf . So I'm just trying to do my own thing and stay busy with my hobbies and animals. It's supposed to rain for the first half of the week so riding will probably only be in the indoor which sucks. I probably won't go to the barn tonight and give Possum a day off so I'll do some sit ups and push ups in the house to work out a little.
Yesterday was Greg's birthday. I called him to say hi and he was busy with the funeral and stuff and he promised that he would call me later, I told him not to worry about it but he insisted. SO about 9:30P I called him to say hi. I don't think he even remembered he said he would call me back. It was a brief and tense conversation that ended with him saying that he is just doing his own thing for now. I thought he was doing his own thing the whole time, but maybe I'm wrong. Ughhh, this sucks. I called my cousnelor and made an appt to see her next week to help me get my head on straight. Feelings suck! I wish I could just think with my brain 100% of the time, but it doesn't work that way. Well that's it for today. I'm working in the office most of the week since it's April vacation for the school kids this week.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Still Truckin...
Just wanted to post a little update. Been keeping really busy lately with work and riding horses after work. Each day this week I've been able to get out to the barn. I rode Aragon yesterday and we did some ring work. We had to go through another reminder of leads and moving off the leg. He was resistant at first and then really started to come around. He just has so much talent. He really reaches and is soft to the bit. He's just wormy with his body and it takes a lot from a rider using all the aids to have him balanced and straight, but it's worth it. After a grueling session in the outdoor we went for a walk down the road. It was like he let out a big sigh and relaxed as we walked down the dirt road. He isn't really fond of working in the ring and I'm trying to convince him that's it's good for his health hahaha.
Rode Possum yesterday and today. I had about zero energy so we just coasted around the outdoor working on flying changes and then today we did some jumping. He did really well and his energy level was about the same as mine. He is really getting into great shape and our first show is not this weekend, but next so we better be ready. This is the year that we're only doing 2'9"-3', not even warming up in the 2'6" classes. We're growing up and need to be on the ball.
Now onto the guy stuff. I've really taken everyone's comments to heart and am trying to follow it to the best of my ability. Greg and I are still not talking. After I received the coments from Oregonsunshine I texted him that night apologizing for jumping the gun and that after talking to a friend I can realize where he is in his life a little better. I told him that if he wants to talk I'm always here and to take care. I have not heard from him. I have a feeling he's upset with me, but I'm human and just need to keep plugging away with my life. Yea it hurts and sucks that I don't have than friend to call and talk to about things about, but such is life. Because of the nice weather lately my roomie and I have been out on her motorcycle and that's really fun. It clears the mind and tonight we went cruising and sang at the top of our lungs. Who cares what people think, we were having a good time.
I just have to hold out hope that someone out there is for me and it's not up to me of when we meet. I'm working on healing from my past relationship and that's a challenge in itself, but until I do so I will never be able to have a functional relationship.
Hanging out the barn a lot has been good for me. I'm with my friends and the weather has been nice so I'm not in a hurry to run to my car for warmth. The dogs are also happy to be outside a lot. I've been going to bed earlier and waking up earlier so I'm not so much of a bear in the morning and feel rested and ready for the day.
I'm looking forward to the upcoming three day weekend. For those of you outside of New England it's Patriots Day and that means a day off from work, yippee. So I came home tonight and my roomie was getting ready for a date and I was vacuuming the house. I started thinking as I was cleaning away that this is how Cinderella started and look how good it turned out for her. A girl can dream can't she?!
Well that's about it. Everytime I want to text or call Greg I go back and read that comment and it helps to keep me grounded and focused. Have a great rest of the week everyone and keep the positive thoughts coming.
Rode Possum yesterday and today. I had about zero energy so we just coasted around the outdoor working on flying changes and then today we did some jumping. He did really well and his energy level was about the same as mine. He is really getting into great shape and our first show is not this weekend, but next so we better be ready. This is the year that we're only doing 2'9"-3', not even warming up in the 2'6" classes. We're growing up and need to be on the ball.
Now onto the guy stuff. I've really taken everyone's comments to heart and am trying to follow it to the best of my ability. Greg and I are still not talking. After I received the coments from Oregonsunshine I texted him that night apologizing for jumping the gun and that after talking to a friend I can realize where he is in his life a little better. I told him that if he wants to talk I'm always here and to take care. I have not heard from him. I have a feeling he's upset with me, but I'm human and just need to keep plugging away with my life. Yea it hurts and sucks that I don't have than friend to call and talk to about things about, but such is life. Because of the nice weather lately my roomie and I have been out on her motorcycle and that's really fun. It clears the mind and tonight we went cruising and sang at the top of our lungs. Who cares what people think, we were having a good time.
I just have to hold out hope that someone out there is for me and it's not up to me of when we meet. I'm working on healing from my past relationship and that's a challenge in itself, but until I do so I will never be able to have a functional relationship.
Hanging out the barn a lot has been good for me. I'm with my friends and the weather has been nice so I'm not in a hurry to run to my car for warmth. The dogs are also happy to be outside a lot. I've been going to bed earlier and waking up earlier so I'm not so much of a bear in the morning and feel rested and ready for the day.
I'm looking forward to the upcoming three day weekend. For those of you outside of New England it's Patriots Day and that means a day off from work, yippee. So I came home tonight and my roomie was getting ready for a date and I was vacuuming the house. I started thinking as I was cleaning away that this is how Cinderella started and look how good it turned out for her. A girl can dream can't she?!
Well that's about it. Everytime I want to text or call Greg I go back and read that comment and it helps to keep me grounded and focused. Have a great rest of the week everyone and keep the positive thoughts coming.
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