I got off work slightly early yesterday and raced over to the barn. It was cold and very windy and overcast. As soon as I got there everyone came over and told me the good news. We had a foal born that morning, a colt to be exact! It was a boarders arabian mare. She had the mare stabled with us because the owner has tons of experience in foaling since she has a little breeding program of her own, and the fact that people are around 24/7. The suprise though was that supposedly this mare wasn't supposed to foal out until June. Well the baby is here and healthy and happy and completely normal looking. He is a cute chestnut with a big white blaze. So spring has to be here, despite the chilly temps and whipping wind, it's here.
I waited for my roomate to arrive at the barn before I got Possum ready so we could ride together. Possum was a total cranky pants. Yes, it was almost dinner time and yes it was windy and cold, but he was making these ugly faces with his ears pinned. I had to remind him that it was OK to mae faces, but anything further would warrant a punishment. He walked the line with that one. He was actually a little lazy during our warm-up. I didn't spend as long on our flat because I didn't want to tire him out and with his mood make him even more cranky. He did great warmping up over the jumps and trotting small lines. My focus today to jump a line of jumps at 3ft that is at 4 and a half strides. I wanted him to jump it in 4 and then in 5. One thing about Possum is that you can always lengthen his stride, but collecting him up and asking him to shorten is sometimes a struggle, especially at home where he knows the jumps and lines. I made sure to take off right from the base of the first jump in the line so as to not eat up too much ground. I gave a sharp half halt upon landing and to avoid my aids he flung his head straight up in the air, hollowed out his back and charged down the line. It took all my stregth to stop him before he took the jump. There was no way in hell that he was getting rewarded for that behavior. I back him up, made him stand and then we started over again. And again he threw a fit and tries to avoid my aids. I then threatened him saying that I would put a standing martingale on him if he threw his head up again. So then the game plan changed. He was to intent on galloping down the rest of the line that I would throw a wrench in his plan. As soon as we jumped over the first jump in the line I immediately asked him for a halt. This suprised him and it took brute strength to reel him in. Needless to say my core muscles got quite a work out last night. After a few times of halting in the middle I decided that we would go back and try for the 5 collected strides. He did much better and his aditude was as well. The big test would be to then ask him for 4 again and then back to 5. When I asked him for the 4 he was suprised and kinda stalled out until he got the idea and lengthened his body ad then gathered himself for a nice finishing jump. I then immediately asked him to collec in the corner and we cantered a 10m circle. I want him to know that even if we ask for more forward striding, next could come a line where we need to collect and sit up. Then I asked for the 5 again. H was OK, but not great so I had him canter around again and we got a nice quite 5. Wow, that was a work out. He was steaming and so was I. I walked him to coool him out while I watched my roomie and another boarder ride some smaller lines.
Tonight will hopefully be a little easier. I'm going to take Aragon down the road again and keep up with his muscle building and endurance. I think I might even have some people to ride with me which will be good too.
So onto the guy side of this blog. I got a text from Greg yesterday. He was just asking a simple question about our house, since he does techincally co-own the building. He was kinda joking and stuff. So after my ride on Possum I was feeling pretty good and decided to call him and tell him about the foal if he wanted to bring his son to see him sometime. We talked for a few minutes but he seemed distracted and distant. Didn't really focus on anything that was being said. It kinda made me feel like crap. I asked him if anything was wrong and he said no (ofcourse). SO on the way home I ran it by my roomie first but decided to send him a few texts to see if we could clear the air. I talked about the fact that we don't talk nearly as much as we used to, and definately not as in depth. I asked if it was because he was interested in a girl, and if that was the case that's cool. Then I asked if he could bring me back some of my pain killers if he didn't need them anymore, because my back was really bothering me some nights and I could use them. I then ended the texts by saying that I wasn't trying to bug him, but just trying to communicate and get on the same page.
I have not heard a word or a peep from him at all last night and so far this morning. I am so totally confused it's not even funny. It's not the fact that he may not like me or anything, but I really feel like a close friend of mine is just drifting away silently like I won't notice. I'm afraid that it just may be time for me to cut ties because it's really hurting me and I think about it a lot. I guess I don't know what's going on in his head and it bugs me. He could have just sent an "OK" or "can we talk about it later" or something, but nothing, NOTHING! I can't help but feel that this is just another guy that I opened myself up to who walks all over me. Do I think Greg is trying to be mean or nasty to me, no. But he's kinda being rude with disregard for my feelings. So I guess as I write this I am making up my mind to again close up my feelings to him. I care about him very much and he is a great guy from the little I have gotten to know him. But I really feel like he is confused and maybe going through some mid-life crisis or something. Like I said before, I'm not looking to jump into a relationship with anyone, ya know the ones with labels and rules and such. I'm looking to make a connection with someone and build on that, and it looks like Greg has closed up shop. I guess it's just time to find another place to go.
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5 comments:
Divorced men can be really weird to deal with. (I married one.) Best advice? Give him lots of space, and offer friendship with no strings (& no sex) and see what happens. If it develops great, if not, you get to keep a good friend. Sounds like his son is pretty cool, too - it's especially tough when there are kids involved, so that's another reason to keep things just friendly until everyone's secure enough mentally to move things forward. Good luck!
His son is totally awesome and Greg is totally in love with him as he should be. It's just hard for me right now. I'm the kind of person who has their emotions on their sleeve. We used to joke that he has "force field" around himself. This may be true, maybe things got too serious in both of our minds. He did say that he was jealous at one time and maybe that was a que for him to back off a bit. My only wish is for him to communicate better. I'm an understanding person and take clear directions very well. Oh well, thanks for the good advice, it is much appreciated.
Sorry to hear about your guy issues! It really takes work on both sides of the fence to make it work out. Sometimes space and understanding is what's needed. Not an easy thing to do!! Listen to your heart sometimes your head can make you crazy.
Sounds like your jumping line exercise went great and gave you both a really good workout! Nice to change things up once in a while.
I agree with SunnySD. I also married one and before I met him, dated several.
The most important thing to know about any guy who is recently divorced or just got out of a long term relationship is that it takes AT LEAST a year for them to be in a good place mentally or emotionally and really able to date and move forward. AT LEAST a year.
There are a lot of phases you go through after a divorce and in reality, no person is fully in their right mind or able to be healthy enough for another relationship until that year has passed. Often people feel ready 3-4 months after the divorce, separation or end of a relationship. But the truth is, they still have phases and things to work through. Having kids just stalls and slows the healing process.
It's not just men. I don't care what anyone says, divorce takes a toll on you, even if it was your idea. It's just hard. At LEAST a year, and more if the end was really awful.
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