Thursday morning musings

Hello Everyone. The weather here is Maine has just been wonderful lately. It was actually 90 degrees here Tuesday and now it is in the comfortable 70's. I had a chance to lay out on the roof Tuesday and get a good tan going. I havn't said anything on the blog yet, but I am on a diet. I have cut my food intake in half only eating 1,000 calories a day and am losing weight at a pretty good clip. In just over 2 weeks I have lost 12lbs and I am so happy about it. I already feel better and every time I see the scale go down it gives me hope that I can get back to the weight I was last summer, but doing so in a healthy way. I also have started going back to my counselor to work on some more things that are going on with me. Basically my relationship stuff and learning on getting over the past and living in the present. It's been good so far and we are going to meet every other week for a while. I figured that it was time to get my head straight and work on getting over this relationship crap.

On the horse side of things, unfortunately I have been busy with work and stuff this week, and I have another presentation tonight so I won't be able to ride until tomorrow night, but I also have the whole weekend to hang at the barn. So Possum gets a few days off, I don't think he'll mind.

Onto the Greg thing. Right after I posted Tuesday we actually ended up talking a little. First on text and then he called me. It started when he was here at the funeral home getting ready for visiting hrs and I asked if he could help me get the AC down from the 3rd floor. He did so but in a totally neutral way, minimal eye contact and no small talk. SO we started texting some and talking about what has happened to us. To make it short he said that he and this other chick have hung out a few times, nothing serious and they have not had sex. I felt like he was being honest with me and I have to believe him. He said that tings with us were just getting out of hand with talking all the time and it was overwhelming him. I told him that I understood how he felt. He said that we are still friends and that he's basically doing his own thing right now. I told him I am doing the same. So it ended on a pretty good note. He asked what I was doing later and said that he would call to talk more. I told him not to worry about it, that I know where he is coming from now and we are on the same page. I wanted to show him that I'm not going to jump at every chance of communication. We texted a couple of times yesterday, just on odd stuff and that is it.

Last night my roomate and I had a kinda double date. I don't like using the D word, so I prefer to call it hanging out. I had talked to this guy a few times on the phone and he is very very nice, but there is just no connection there for me. I feel bad and don't want to hurt his feelings. He knows how I feel about getting in a relationship now anyways and that I'm just looking for friends. I was glad to get home last night. It just made me realize how much I liked Greg and how well we got along and how comfortable I felt with him. I need to give myself time to get over those feelings and some time apart from him (not that we're hanging out or anything). So I'm just doing my own thing right now. Hanging with my animals and enjoying the nice weather. Working on just being happy in general. It's kinda hard but I feel a little more at peace as odd as that sounds. I'm happy about losing weight, I'm happy with the weather and I'm happy hanging out with horse friends. That's all I really need right now.

Have a great day everyone. As always please feel free to leave a comment. I love all the constructive criticism I can get. I read them all and take them to heart. Well I'm off to work on my presentation. Looking forward to the weekend ahead. Below are some pics from a ride with Possum Monday night on the trail. We were in a field and it was so peaceful and quiet.