Friday, September 19, 2008

It is With a Heavy Heart..............

I have some good news and bad news. I'm going to start with the bad because that's what's on my mind for the moment. Yesterday I was in my office working when the program director knocked on my door which is highly unusual and very quietly asked me to come see her and my direct supervisor. My first thought was "Oh God, what did I do?" So instinctively I grabbed my schedule book and a pad and pen and followed her down the hall. I could have been walking to a firing squad or the green mile. It all went in slow motion and almost like an out of body experience. The office door closed with a soft click. My supervisor was sitting back to and she slowly turned to look at me and give a weak smile. Her eyes were red and swollen and she followed me with her eyes to where I sat alone in the chair. Things were really a blur to me. I heard "your a valuable employee" and "budget cuts". And then the kicker, "we're sorry to say that you are being laid off". I words rang in my ears. They reassured me that this was not a disciplinary action and that they needed to cut hours and that myself and another co-worker were getting the ax.

I couldn't hold it anymore. My eyes filled with tears and they spilled over onto my cheeks. I felt my face flushing and snot in my nose. I kept trying to say through gasps of air that I wasn't mad and I understand the economy and blah blah blah. The truth of the matter is that I have learned more in this job in 2 years than I have ever learned in 4 yrs of college. This has been the kind of job that you either shape up or ship out. It's fast paced, packed with anxiety and stress and to top it off like the cherry on top the documentation is overwhelming. But I feel like I'm taking so much from this job. I have my Licensed Social Worker, I have my drug and alcohol counselor and am still attending the DEEP training in November to be certified in that. It was a sad day all and all and they understood totally that I just couldn't stay at work. I packed up my things and left for the day.

Now on to thepositive. See all of my past counseling and work has really paid off for the fact that I'm able to see a positive in all of this crap. On Wednesday one of my home visits didn't show up so I decided to go to the animal shelter on my lunch break which is something I do often. I was walking down the isle of dogs and didn't even get to the end when I saw THE ONE. She was small, but a spit fire, she was happy and loud and begging me to take her. I asked the staff if I could take her in a seperate rpoom tog et to know her. I was looking for some kind of excuse of why this little girl wouldn't be a good fit for me or my animal family. I couldn't find sone single thing wrong. She's a major tom boy, all tough and gruff but not afraid to give kisses and cuddle. The staff convinced me to fill out an application and I reluctantly did so but also grumbling that I really didn't need another animal. The next morning first thing I get a call from the shelter asking me to do a meet and greet with Phin and Abby and if it all went well I could take her home that afternoon after she was spayed. It was all happening so fast. I didn't even have time to plan and hem and haw and even talk to "G" about it. I briefly mentioned it last night to him and he quickly reminded me of reality and the added stress of a 3rd dog. I called the shelter back and said that I may have time tomorrow but I was working all day today. Then I went to work and the bomb got dropped and I left work around 10AM. I talked to a few friends about this crazy idea of getting another dog and I called the shelter and informed them that my dayhas opened up and I could do the meet and greet in about an hr. They agreed and said that they would wait to spay her intil I showed up.

I brought the dogs and had Phin meet her first. He would be the one to tell me if he liked her or not. He is my baby and would never lead me wrong. He was fine with her. The little female was actually trying to be dominant over him and he was just ignoring her antics. It all went so smooth and they told me to pick her up at 4P and then left to go back inside. I was left outside standing with both my dogs on the leash wondering what had just happened.

When I got home my wonderful roomie wanted to take me out to lunch to cheer me up and we went on her bike to a favorite restaurant of ours. We had a good time and when we got back she went with me to the shelter to pick up the new family member. When we got there she was spry and as sassy as could be. You would never guess she went under the knife a few hrs earlier. I picked out a new collar and leash and then paid the $90 adoption fee. I looked around for my roomie and found her in the cat room looking and petting cats. She decided to adopt one and take him home today. So away we drove with two girls, a dag and a cat going back to the funeral home. We stopped at a one of my co-workers house to show her the new dog and cat and then we headed home to the funeral home. "G" as well has been incredibly supportive through all this work stuff. He called me several times to check up on me and even said that he wanted to buy the new dog for me as a gift.

When we got home it was getting all the animals accustomed to each other. It actually went much smoother than I thought and everyone settled in well. We crooned and cuddled over the new pets and still spent time with our other animals so they didn't feel left out. "G" then came over to bring some pizza and the dog crate. For those of you wondering, this is JETTA, she was called Demi at the shelter but I hated it. Here is her bio that was taped to her kennel door:

Two year old female Shiba Inu/Cattle Dog mix.
I am a foxy medium sized pooch that is compact and well- muscled and is slightly longer than I am tall.
I am an extremely independent girl with a propensity to wander. I would do well with an active owner that has a fenced in yard or the ability to leash walk me several times a day.
I am full of personality as well as sass. I enjoy being a part of something. Hiking, traveling, playing, name it. I want to be doing it. Forgive the fact that I am easily distracted though. I find everything entertaining and utterly fascinating.
I love to run, jump and play as much as possible. I would not be a good pick for a home with small children. I an suspicious of new things and require and adjustment period before I discover whether I am comfortable or not. Teens and adults preferred.
I find cats interesting and I am willing to say "hello" to other dogs.

She is a sweet as they come. She snuggled with "G" and I all night sleeping in between up with Phin at his usual position, spread across the whole foot of the bed. Shadow the cat was curled up in my arm pit and Abby slept on her dog bed by the fan. Jetta made me happy and she adjusted so quickly that I didn't even crate her this morning before going to work. She is potty trained and only barks when a stranger comes and makes a wonderful guard dog. I can't wait to go home and see her. I have a little less than 3 weeks left here at work. CLosing cases and catching up on everything. I need to start the job search and figure out my finances. It's going to be tough but I know I'll survive. I just hate to leave all of the great frienships that I have made at my work. I may hate the work itself a lot of the time and be busy as hell, but everyine here has always been supportive and wonderful and I feel like I am leaving my family. It'll take time to let everything sink in. SO I have my blog family to rely on and get support from. S o that's the news of the past 2 days. Pretty heavy and tough to swallow but I'll get through and as the old addage goes "when one door closes, another window opens." SO send your positive thoughts my way. I need money and finances to work out in my favor. Here is another pic that my roomie took of Jetta and I laying on the couch last night.


Wonderful World of Weiners said...

Jetta is are you.

Hallie :)

Stephanie said...

Ohhh Nooo....I am so sorry - I know how that feels I went through the same dang thing last year. Only it was kind of more rotten on my employers part.

But you are right you will make it through this just fine - I am assuming you will qualify for unemployment and will be good for money at least for the short term? Crossing fingers. I was fortunate to have my husband and folks that helped me out while I looked for new work.

But you know it really was for the best I am way more happier now than i ever was at my last place of employment even though i make a tad less.

I believe this will be the same for you - you are handling its so well to start off with. I am sending all of my best wishes your way today - you are smart, talented, kind, and good looking so you will have no problem find new work - just be picky and find something you like!

About your Dog: How CUTE is that!!
I know about the whole 3rd dog debate too - me and Chris went through it when i got Roper - but it was for the best I can't imagine my life without him now...and Chris even kinda likes him too. Our Shepard would be about unmanageable if he didn't have someone to play with all day - and the old dog is just so dang grateful she doesn't have to put up the Shepard all the time anymore - its worked out perfect!

Yours will too! Go out and spend time with your horse - I don't know how they know when things have gone wrong, they just do. He will understand and want to comfort you...

Try to have a good weekend! Drop me an email anytime you need to k?

Mrs Mom said...

Well, keep in mind, where one door closes, another (or several!) will open! ;)

Jetta is adorable!!! I LOVE Heeler crosses. LOVE THEM. They are just the best dogs and fit so well in so many situations!

Have a great ride on that silly spotted pony of yours, and a wonderful weekend!

Adventures Of A Horse Crazed Mind said...

Jetta is gorgeous! What a unique looking dog. You can really see the fire in her eyes. I think you made a good decision.

I am positive that all will work out and you will end up further ahead because of it all. You clearly have the TOOLS you need to use this a stepping stone to greater things. Keep your chin up girl and give yourself a pat on the back! You have kept your head and stayed positive! That is more than most people would have been able to do.

Good luck!

Rebecca J said...

Hey Molly! you've inspired me to start a blog. Especially with life crazy as it just became it's nice to have a place to vent. it's a good way to keep in touch too! later dude!

Laura said...

Ohhh nooooo.... what terrible news about your job. I agree with Steph - it does sound like you are taking it really well and trying to see the positives. I'm sure you will be really employable with all of the extra certifications you have received. It must still be tough though.

Jetta is super cute - good for you for taking her home. It's so great that she is fitting in instantly. A friend of mine has a purebred shiba inu and she is a really cute dog with a quirky personality...

cdncowgirl said...

I have to say that when I saw the title of your blog post several things went through my mind. (ok, so I can be a bit of a worrier and jump to conclusions!)
I am so sorry that you were laid off, but glad at the same time because its the least bad situation of all the ones flying through my head. It sucks to have to leave a job where you like your co-workers though.
Then again, you are smart, strong and coping well. You WILL be okay.
I'm still sending good wishes your way though :)

On to the new addition, she's so cute I can see why it was hard to consider leaving her. With that mix I'm sure she'll be smart as all get out. Not to mention entertaining and energetic.

If you need someone to e-mail to vent or "talk" my e-mail is available on my blog. I have confidence that you'll be okay though, things happen for a reason (even if we have NO clue what that reason is)

cdncowgirl said...

Oh yeah, the email link isn't on the blog page itself. Click on "View my complete profile" and its there.

Leah Fry said...

Molly, I'm so sorry about your job. Look at it as a necessary step towards where you need to go next. You will be fine, I have no doubt.

And Jetta is a sweetie!

Never Say Never Greyhounds said...

Congrats on the new pup and your future-new-job-to-be! I was forced to resign 2 years ago and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. I work for the most wonderful company now.


Denise- LessIsMore17 said...

Eeek, it's hard to get laid off and wonder about the future, but you will land on your feet!

Jetta is adorable, what a lucky girl that you found her...I'm glad she's fitting in so well, sometimes they just do. I love that your roomie took a cat home too, two rescues in one day:-)
Did I read right? Driving home to the funeral home?-or am I drinking too much tonight?

20 meter circle of life said...

I jeez! Jetta is wonderful and this too shall pass! you are in my thoghts