Wednesday, November 26, 2008

musings on growing up....

Why is it that playing was so easy as a kid and everything was always new and exciting and filled with wonder. Do we really have to lose this as we get older?! Sure as an adult you have tons of responsibility and bills and planning and jobs and family etc... Sometimes I will get that feeling that I used to get when I was younger, especially around horses; like my senses are heightened. The sweet smell of their breath, the touch of their fur, their gentle breathing and the feel of whiskers on your cheek as you lean in for a soft kiss. These are all things that I sometimes take for granted and just go about my daily duties. I remember how excited I used to get to even just see and touch horses nevermind ride them. I want to bring things back to the way they used to be.

I don't want to walk around all day murmuring about schedules and meetings and money and what to have for dinner that night. I want to take every minute as something new and a challenge and even an adventure. For example, I'm dreading going to Boston with my parents for Thanksgiving because of the long drive and the fact that they set their speed control on the highway to 65 which happens to be the exact speed limit. I'm just thinking about what time I'm gonna be home and the hassle of the day in general. Flash back to about 15 yrs ago. I would have been jumping out of my seat to hang with my cousins and visit and chat. I would have begged my parents to leave earlier and come home later. Why does it have to be like this when we get older?

My goal as of now is to try and get some of those feelings back. Focusing on having fun and not taking days for granted just to get to another one. I want to take my riding back to the basics and continue to work on my relationship with my horse and have fun. I don't want to get all caught up in training and showing as it takes the personal aspect of riding and horse ownership. I want to take things back to when I was a kid while also juggling the responsibilities of an adult. Can it work? I don't know but stay tuned.

As for the daily dish. My roomie left to go up north to visit with family last night. Yesterday was her birthday and the idiot didn't even tell me until that night because she doesn't want to make a big deal of it, whatever! So we went and had a quick dinner before she hit the road. I spent some time with the dogs and then went to Greg's and spent the night. We had a good time chatting and teasing one another. The more time I spend with him the more I like him every day. He even made the comment to me last night about the fact that I'll get sick of him sooner or later. I actually took offense to that as it is the complete opposite of how I feel. I just need to remember to cool my jets and take it a day at a time, as mentioned above. I tend to like to get ahead of myself. It's like reading the last chapter of a book. Sure you know what happens at the end, but you miss out on all the good stuff in the middle and the actual story itself. Why do I do this to my life? Anyways, enough heavy thinking. I'm gonna get back to work and enjoy the next 4 days of a great family holiday.

2 comments:

Stephanie said...

I can't imagine that you need to get back to the basics on riding at all. You have such a good grasp on what riding means to you and balance on fun work.

But I hear what you say about much fun the holidays used to me and now its like "when will this be over, I stuff I need to get done this weekend..."

Leah Fry said...

I'm with you on the fun part, and concentrating on the relationship. Because I have gotten such a late start getting my horses, I don't have a lot of time (relatively speaking, of course) to get too wrapped up in perfectionism. Do I want to be a better rider and learn as much as I can? Absolutely. But I can make myself and my horses (Poco, in particular) a nervous wreck when I have a hard and fast agenda. Our best experiences together so far have been when we just mosey down the road with my friend Nita riding Jaz. Everybody's relaxed and happy, and it's all good.