Thursday, July 17, 2008

Funky Feelings

So been having a rough couple of days personally. I found out over a week ago that I had been acidentally overdosing on my anxiety meds and taking double the dose because they changed the pills to a higher MG and I was dumb and really wasn't using my brain and was still taking two like I had been instead of 1. So I found out about 2 weeks ago and immediately went down to my prescribed dose. My body has been going through some subtle changes and perhaps withdrawal not really sure. Been really really tired the past couple of days, not much energy or motivation. I'm also on my period ( know gross) so that is messing with the chemicals in my body. As my counselor says I've been just trying to ride it out and wait for my body to stabilize. I also have been eating like a horse lately, literally. I can't get enough to eat and all I want is junk food. I swear I've put on atleast 5lbs in the past week and still gaining string.

I've just been trying to listen to my body lately. If I'm tired I make sure to rest. If I feel anxious or stressed I asknowledge and try and take care of it. It's really kinda annoying and I'm just waiting for the feelings to pass. I do feel a little better today as opposed to yesterday which I had a crazy day at work and a killer headache. I basically spent the evening laying down, sleeping and eating. I felt like a loser but it's really all I could do. I also havn't been up to see my horse lately. Have plans to tonight to atleast groom him and maybe hop on bareback as long as I feel mentally up to it.

On the good side of things. "G" and I are doing wonderful. He is oficially 5 days sober without a single drop as of today. I also requested my birthday and the day after off Aug. 7th and 8th so I can have a 4 day weekend and have tentative plans of going to Canobie Lake musement Park for some fun and relaxation with "G". I also have a plan free weekend!!! I need a weekend where I can sleep in, clean the apartment and just have no plans. I may go to the mall and use some of my gift cards since I'm totally broke, will probably ride my horse sometime and just try and have some fun.

I also am going to one of the local fairs and entering the frying pan throwing contest. Yes folks, it's a totally contry tradition where women try and throw a frying pan as far as they can while being as accurate as they can. The total distance is measured by how far and you throw and subtract how far away from the measuring tape you are. I missed the competition last year but the year before I was the Waterford Worlds Fair champion in the frying pan throw. My mom also participates and it's just fun to do and gets a lot of good laughs, plus some good food afterwards. I'm hoping to bring home the trophy. I don't have as much muscle as I did 2 years ago and I havn't practiced at all but I'm hoping adrenaline will get me through hehehe. I know I'm weird but it's fun. Have a great day everyone.. Have a very busy day here at work playing Ketchup. Just looking forward to a relaxing weekend.
*NOTE- the woman in the picture is NOT me. But this is the intensity that most have while competing.


Stephanie said...

Frying pan throwing? That's cracks me up!

I get to feeling like that sometimes - and you feel like crap, lay down and sleep and eat, and yeah it makes me feel like a loser too.

I will especially do that in the winter if I am having a relapse depression episode. It's one of my symptoms - i just won't have a desire to do anything and will feel like crap. But it has happened other times too.

But I am sure it will pass...
I struggle with junk food cravings off and on. I lost a bunch of wait about 3.5 years ago and although I work out and eat right sometimes I will just lose all self control and for a couple of weeks I'll eat the worst food - then I am not sure if it just passes or if a slight weight gain will snap me out of it.

The good side is after 3 years of being on a really healthy diet me and hubby have found many healthy foods that we enjoy eating just as much as junk food. So in times like that I try to keep some around so I am more tempted to eat a healthy food than run to the store and get some junk food.

This only works sometimes :) Donuts after all are so good!

Stephanie said...

On the note of food - I also wonder if your show last weekend threw you off?

After a show I am so wiped that I get to feeling like that. Of course our shows are usually 4 days long, but even when I would do 1 dayers I would feel like that. Not getting quite enough sleep - being stressed - being physically shot - (for me) maybe drinking a tad much. All rolled into one. Leads to one crapy Monday and Tuesday.

I will allow myself to eat food I don't usually at show because I am burning so many more calories. And even doing that it's not uncommon for me to lose 6 pounds at a horse show....

Leah Fry said...

My job requires travel for about 5 non-consecutive weeks in a row every year. I just came off the last trip and am now on my annual diet. We always stay at 4-5 star hotels -- good food, good wine. I had a great time gaining this weight so I've decided now I need to have a great time losing it as well.

I'm also feeling a bit lethargic. I always have the Texas heat as an excuse.

Give yourself a break. And remember, heaving a frying pan around has got to be good exercise! What a hoot!

Denise- LessIsMore17 said...

I'd totally do frying pan throwing - sounds fun. If only they had a napping competition, I would so win that:-)

I'm curius what anxiety meds you take...I've been on Paxil for like 10 years now :-) they are my happy pills... if I forget to take them a day or two or during a dosage change I can get really "wigged out" VERY jumpy feeling, I hate it.

sidetracked said...

I'm on 40mg of Celexa. I havn't experienced any side effects and it's a fairly new drug in the worls of anxiety and depression. I really like it for the fact that I hardly know it's there.