Saturday, July 18, 2009

Keeping Busy

Been trying hard to stay busy lately. I've been riding Possum a lot on the trails and hanging at the beach with friends. It's nice to have friends in high places, or atleast at the lake hehehe. Yes Emily, I did reference you! Have been feeling pretty down which is normal after a situation like this. My horse has been doing awesome. I have decided to take a break from the ring for a few days since it's been so hot and just go and relax down the trail. I rode to the pond yesterday by myself and it was nice to relax and just chill with my horse. We went in the water up to his belly. He woulda gone in further but my tack would have been very angry at me. On the way back I was rounding a corner and there was a deer, a doe standing in front of us, about 30 feet away. She just looked at us and Possum didn't even care. He started to prance wanting to go further. I was fumbling with my camera phone to take a pic and just as I was about to snap it she ran away. It was nice and put a smile on my face. Ofcourse I was dumb and texted Nick that I saw the deer and all he could say was "cool" about an hr later. Ughh so frustrating. When we got back to the farm I gave Possum a cool hosing and put him back out. As soon as his butt was through the gate he stopped and rolled right in the manure and mud slop. He was covered in dirt and muck. I had to laugh as he got to his feet, let out a big snort and then proceeded to eat from the round bale. Another smile for the day.

After the barn I went home to drop the dogs off and grab my bathing suit. I then raced over to my friends house on the lake. We laid out on the dock for a few chatting and then her dad offered to take us water skiing, Sweet! First we had to get gas, ofcourse it's was at the marina that Nick works at, I was praying that he wasn't there, thinking that I might be stalking him or something. He wasn't, his dad came out and filled up the boat. I think he remembered me because he looked at me like he did, but it was hard to tell. I was wondering if Nick told him that we weren't hanging out anymore. OK, so I was over thinking again, but hey, it's what I do. After getting gas we started to have some real fun. My friend went first. She is quite the pro, she goes on 1 ski!!! After her turn I put on two skis I was about to jump in the water when Nick comes cruising by on a pontoon boat. He waves and I give a half hearted one. He is clearly out of sight before I start skiing, thank goodness. I was so proud of myself, I got right up on the first try!!! I was so excited. I started doing turns and lasted quite a while. I did that for a few before it was discussed that I try 1 ski. I quickly knew that this was going to be a problem. I just couldn't get my balance and figure out how it was supposed to feel. I nearly got up a few times with one foot on the ski and one flailing like an idiot beside me before I finally crashed hard. I had quite a few crashes and it wasn't pretty. I know this because people were honking their horns everytime I crashed, it must have been funny to them, but it just frustrated me and wanted to make me get it. Finally I was getting tired and had to give it a rest. My friends dad went next and he was super good. He was flying all over the place, going one handed and all. It made me feel like an idiot and wanting to try it again. I was pretty banged up and had pulled a muscle in my arm pretty good from one of my wipeouts so we decided to go back. We had an awesome dinner and then I went home shortly after looking at pics from the last show. Ofcourse my friend rides horses too.

When I got home I felt like cleaning so I cleaned my room top to bottom and then watched TV until going to bed at 11. Still no word from Nick. I got up at 9 and hung out with the dogs and then went to lunch with my roomie. I wanted to look good so I got some nice jeans and heels and a tank top. If I didn't feel great, I might want to try and look good. I'm also doing really well in eating less and moving more. Losing weight and looking great hahaha. Went to the barn in the afternoon and went for a trail back to the pond with another boarder. We had fun and the horses were relaxed. I gave Possum some treats and threw him back out to his hay. Went home and let the dogs out and played with them and then went to another friends house to walk the track near her house. We walked nearly 2 miles and it was nice to burn a few extra calories. SO it's Saturday night and I'm home blogging and watching TV, wow I'm so cool. Tomorrow is supposed to be gorgeous and I have no real big plans. Probably hit up the barn again and we'll see what the day brings. I have not texted Nick all day and he has not contacted me. I don't know if I miss him, or maybe the idea of him. It's pretty confusing, but I know I'm feeling crappy right now. I know this will pass so I'm doing my best to be busy and try and have some fun. I know that I must let this go. I'm too accessible and care too much. He needs to do his own thing right now and I'm not even giving him the chance to miss me, or maybe not miss me. Just living day to day is the plan, I just need to stick to that. Have a good night everyone, I'm desperately trying to find something on TV to watch that doesn't involve relationships, not having any luck so far. Think I'm gonna grab a beer and sit on the porch. Nite

1 comment:

Leah Fry said...

Regardless of what it looks like or feels like to you, be confident that every day, in every way, you are becoming better and stronger. You're doing great.