Thursday, June 19, 2008

rain rain go away come again another day

This is how I feel today. It's raining all the time now. Although I can't really complain because other parts of the US are really under water it still sucks that it's raining when you wake up and the best you can get in the day is some hazy clouds and maybe a sliver of blue sky that quickly disappears. The weather is really starting to affect my mood. For some reason yesterday afternoon I was feeling mega anxiety. The kind where things start spinning and you fight to take a breath. I started to calm myself down and wonder what brought this on, there was no real explanation. SOmetimes reality just hits me like a ton of bricks. I have no boyfriend anymore, no more secure place to live, I have few posessions, mounting bills, a stressful job and my own mental problems. I'd say that is not only a plate full of issues but it's a damn smorgasboard.

So I went to the barn last night after my last visit. Everyone could tell I was stressed. It was one of the times in the day that there was small sliver of blue sky so I was trying to soak up as much vitamin D as I could. I chatted with friends and then goot Moonshine ready to ride. She was pretty good but really sluggish. She had gotten ridden earlier in the morning and I could tell. We also jumped bigger then we have in months with the highest being 3'3". She's just starting to really learn how to use her body over the jumps and add style, she's coming along very nicely.

My friend was having problems with her hot hot hot solid paint mare so I hopped on to try some things. This horse just anticipates EVERYTHING! And not only that she is extremely smart and has learned to run the show over my friend. Any slight leg pressure she bolts forward, that's bad. SO we worked off leg, seat and some bending since she was turning like she was a 2X4. Her neck started to relax and her mouth softened and I gave her some extra rein as a reward. I got it so her trot was nice and relaxed and bending but when you so much as ask for a canter ZOOM away she goes. She curls her neck up like a caterpillar, leans on your hands and flattens out as much as she can to keep going. So every time she would do that she would have to stop, back a few steps and then trot softly forward. I can't get emotional with her becahse she just feeds off that, so everything is done matter of factly. I do lots of turns, transitions and really asked her to listen to ALL of the aids and not just hands. She was a little better at the end of night and my friend knows the kids of work she has cut out for her. Consistency is the name of the game here, breaking up the routine so the horse doesn't anticipate everything. So it was pretty productive.

Last night I texted "G" good night and he asked if I wanted to stop by his dads tuff truck track because they were hauling a vehicle over. I said sure and met them there. I saw him take a truck around the track and totally kill it which was cool. The bugs were so bad that I didn't stay long and plus I was getting really tired. I said good night, he thanked me for stopping by and I left.

It rained all last night while I was sleeping. Rained this morning and is cloudy and dark now. I have a busy day at work again with lots of driving. Contemplating maybe not showing Sunday due to the weather. It just isn't fun getting ready in the rain, practicing in the rain, showing in the rain and unpacking in the rain. I'll have to talk to the owner about it since this show isn't really big time or anything. Stopping by the barn tonight just fo a few cause I really need to do laundry tonight after stayin out too late last night. Have a great day everyone and let me know if it's sunny out where you are.


Stephanie said...

I just want to let you know I look forward to reading your blog whenever you post, and how it helps me in my life and struggles.

I know how that stuff can all come crashing down on you like that - but you are working on it. To you it seems everything is not together - to me (from reading your blog) it seems everything is just coming together for you.

You are about to move in to a nice apartment with your friend right? SO then you will have a secure place to live.

As for the stressful job my only advice is to keep looking for a job that suits you better (don't quit yours without a new one). I finally found one, it HUGE blow up at my old job, but I am so happy that I got this one now. Its amazing how the rest of my life is easier to deal with when your job is not taking up 2/3 of your energy.

And as for the boy friend thing when you feel you're ready (that thought you had may have been good sign) and when you and "G" are at a place where you can handle it. Start looking around, people know people - there are guys involved in horses, nice guys, especially at the bigger shows you'll start to notice them. So try not to think about that right now - it will happen...

Sounds like your friend does have some work cut out for her. Not all horses are mentally suited for jumping though - perhaps this mare would like to barrel race or something? Or maybe she just lacks training and consistency. It takes so long sometimes but I have seen Joe turn horses like around eventually. But there have been two that I know of that went on to the bucking shoots and one that went on to barrels.

The rain doesn't even phase us at all up here in the Pacific NW. During the two nicest months of the year here - July and Aug. There are no shows!! So we ride and show in the rain during the Spring and Fall, fun huh? We all have very nice riding rain gear, creative ways of water proofing things, draining water and indoor arenas with heated indoor wash racks. We deal with mold, moss and rust on a daily bases. We also have one of the nations highest rates of SAD.

Stephanie said...

Sorry for writing a book - didn't know how long it was till I published it.